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I'm a 45 yr old woman w/no libido

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Old 08-14-2007, 10:50 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 47
ibtouchy45 HB User
I'm a 45 yr old woman w/no libido

Ever since I had my first child 12 years ago, I have not wanted sex at allll. I have zero sex drive and cannot even get stimulated to the point of climaxing. I've not told my gyno. about it because I am on depression meds, and I know she'd say go natural and get off the meds. I'm so touchy like I've got major PMDD, that is a severe bad form of PMS. My poor, poor, husband. Can you imagine.. I take Zoloft, neurontin too. I know it is also the meds, but not only, because I would have some sort of urge. But I have none at all. I have a gyno. who believes in allllll naturale. I've done everything down to excerise circuit training, jogging, running, eating no meats, but poultry, fish, vegatables, legumes... all the good stuff... I've taken major amounts of omega 3 fish oil etc. womens vitamin with everything in it, I've done colonics. I've done a herbal internal cleansing, and colon cleansing and fasted. Then just juiced... Got a juicer, and do carrots, celery, kale, apples yadda yadda yadda, nothing.... nothing. I've thought of testosterone. My Gyno says my hormone levels are fine... I've had the thyroid and the other one, rather 100th testing on me. I am so frustrated with no answer here. Can someone relate to me, what should I do before my husband starts looking at others.. I'm not too bad looking myself... But I just do it for him, not, never for me.... He has given up trying to satisfy me, because it never happens there is nothing there at all. NO sex drive... I'm soooo upset, so sad, I feel defective. There is nothing special like it used to be before our first child. He is younger than me by seven years, I feel like an old biddy around him.. I am constantly on edge, always...I am a frigid pip squeak! HELP ME pls. I need help with libido and PMDD...Should I ask for testosterone. I have before gotten on the pill, forget it... I get a black period every two weeks...What should I dooooooooooooooooooooooo? Even had mris...

Last edited by ibtouchy45; 08-14-2007 at 10:56 AM. Reason: spelling wrong

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Old 08-14-2007, 11:21 AM   #2
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ergo4 HB User
Re: I'm a 45 yr old woman w/no libido

Iím turning 40 this year and Iím on the opposite end of the spectrum (cannot have enough sex). I will say, however, that years ago when I was on Paxil I had sexual dysfunction (low libido and difficulty climaxing). I have read that it is a possibility with Zoloft as well. I also had problems with Prozac.

The only anti-depressant that works for me, and keeps me feeling like me, is Wellbutrin. It is good that youíve had your thyroid checked because that definitely can be a culprit. Have you checked for PCOS? Iím wondering if it is not your SSRI. Perhaps this would be better explored on one of the other boards as it seems to be physiological.

Old 08-15-2007, 07:31 PM   #3
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ibtouchy45 HB User
Red face Re: I'm a 45 yr old woman w/no libido

Dear mouseonmars:
Thanks for the info. What is PCOS and SSRI?

Old 08-20-2007, 09:28 PM   #4
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river525 HB User
Re: I'm a 45 yr old woman w/no libido

Hate to say it but I take Wellbutrin and I have ZERO sex drive. I'm 43 and I have had a hysterectomy (complete - ovaries and all are gone) and I've tried testosterone too. I talk every year to my GYN and she tests my hormones everytime and of course they come back normal = It is absolutely no fair. I hate it for me and more so for my husband. If I wasn't so in love with him and vice versa; I would tell him to go get it somewhere else but luckily he just puts up with me. I will say though when we do get intimate I enjoy it for a minute or two and then I just want him to hurry up He just always says he wishes he had the good ole times back with me and that just depresses me so b/c this is not something I ever wished for much less wanted.

And it makes me so mad when the pharmaceutical companies do these research trials for low libido for women but not for ones who have had hysterectomies......EXCUSE me what about us too??

I hope you find a solution for you -- just don't give up!!

Old 08-25-2007, 01:19 PM   #5
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: salisbury nc usa
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cmorris4841 HB User
Re: I'm a 45 yr old woman w/no libido

i am 46 yof i too have had a complete hysterectomy. i have chf and copd. i was taking 100mg of zoloft for a good bit of time and like you i had no sex drive (maybe every 3 months) i finally had enough and i cut zoloft down to 50 mg. and the difference is amazing. i knew it was the zoloft. i am unable to go like i used to because of chf and copd but at least i can now keep hubby and myself satisfied. maybe you can cut down on the wellbutin

Old 08-29-2007, 08:57 AM   #6
Join Date: Jan 2007
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ibtouchy45 HB User
Re: I'm a 45 yr old woman w/no libido

yeah thank you for all your comments. The hysterectomy thing, like can you get replacement therapy and that help? I'm sure help is on the way soon. You don't give up either River. You are going through w/your husband the exact thing I am going thru. and he says the same thing too about how he wishes it was like before our baby. It really is not fair, frustration is a big part of my life because of it. Especially since I've tried all and nothing works. Should I try testoserone? Oh for the other person who wrote about wellbutrin, well, I am so messed up I guess that I become not a nice person with out the seratonin for the brain, and still I'm a grouch. I think it is horrible having to take pills just to be half way decent. I hate it. It really gets me to feeling like, "gosh, do I have to take pills for the rest of my life?!!!" I used to experiment a little bit like a little bit more than a little bit as a teen in the 80's when drugs were more prevalent. I think it is because of that. What a huge, huge mistake. If somehow, I can prove what is going on with me in all these different areas because of doing these drugs as a teen; maybe I can somehow reach out to the teens of today. Then I would feel that all this that is happening to me would be justified and worth the pain.

Last edited by ibtouchy45; 08-29-2007 at 09:00 AM.

Old 08-31-2007, 03:13 PM   #7
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: San Antonio, TX USA
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gradstudent09 HB User
Re: I'm a 45 yr old woman w/no libido

I am 43 and thought I'd never have sex again-- until my husband presented me with divorce papers after 15 yrs. of marriage. I am convinced that use of birth control pills lowered my libido and messed up my hormone system. At the time, I was in my 30's with 2 children. I took myself off the pill (though my gyn. did not acknowledge any cause/effect relationship) and a few years later (at 40) began taking Synthroid for Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. I believe getting my endocrine system working again restored my sex drive, and I am fortunate to be having wonderful sex once more with a significant other. I am sad about the ending of my marriage, but my lack of libido did not cause it. Rather, my ex-husband's depression leading to lack of sex drive and general dissatisfaction with life led to its demise. It's always something!!!

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