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Old 11-20-2007, 04:29 PM   #1
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Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

Ladies! Can you explain to me the difference between a vaginal and a clitoral climax? I suspect that my wife has had one or the other at different times, but I don't know which is which. Let me explain! In the beginning of our sexual relationship, she would push me away after achieving what seemed like less than a total climax. It wasn't in a mean or angry way. It was more like she couldn't stand the pleasure anymore. But, to me, based on past relationships, I've always felt that she was really just on the verge of the real thing and didn't realize that there was more to come. But, because she pushed me away, we never got to test my theory. Of course, I never asked her about this. That would make way too much sense. Later in our relationship, as we aged, things changed. I began to rely on oral sex to bring her to pleasure. She was on a lot of meds that seemed to change the way she reacted to the point where I couln't even bring her to any kind of climax. So, I began to perform oral sex and I realized recently that she seems to enjoy it more and doesn't push me away anymore. Recently, when leading up to sex, I asked her what she would like me to do and she requested oral sex. What do you all think the significance of this might be?

 
Old 11-20-2007, 06:16 PM   #2
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

There is no difference whatsoever. All orgasms are produced by the clitoris or the branches of that same nerve running through the labia majora, and there are very few internal receptors. (Otherwise, childbirth would be even worse than it is). Freud thought there was a difference, but he had a lot of odd ideas.

As to why your wife's tastes have changed, well, people's tastes do change. Maybe she was initially freaked out by oral sex, but has since decided she likes it. Oh, and some women orgasm quietly, without much thrashing. Doesn't mean it doesn't feel amazing.

So, go ask her what you want to know. She's not quite psychic enough to tell you without you asking.

 
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Old 11-20-2007, 07:09 PM   #3
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

Interesting,
Well, I don't know being I'm male,
but my g/f gave me imformation that the vaginal orgasms feel more intense and last longer, she said the clitoral ones were ok but she loves the vaginal orgasm more!
everyones different.

no pun intended
I'm just guessing here but maybe the clitoral branch is not has hard to stimulate than the vaginal branch??
she said it was ''amazing pleasurable'' like an out of body experince.
I suppose a female can have both?
my question would be can a female have a vagina orgasm via oral?
stimulation is important we all know that, maybe its not whats stimulated but how? or maybe it takes both stimulation of both.

I think that most women would be happy to get a clitoral orgasm during intercourse but oral may give them more stimulation, again everyones different especially women!

Last edited by chevyman; 11-20-2007 at 07:14 PM. Reason: spelling!!

 
Old 11-21-2007, 08:31 AM   #4
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

Thanks for the feedback. I know you're all thinking, "Why doesn't he just ask her?" Well, the truth is that while I rarely have had any problem pleasing my women sexually, I do have difficulty talking in detail about what's good or what needs improvement with them. I am 62 and have learned all I know from reading books and watching self help video's, etc. I am married for the second time. My wife and I have been married 9 years and all has been good, until recently, when medical problems developed for her. I think that these problems combined with my concerns about what I perceive are possibly age related on my part, things have changed. This is why I have been reaching out for new information. Considering that Jane is a woman, I would tend to believe her over what chevyman has said. But, I agree that everyone is different. And, considering what chevyman said, I'm thinking that perhaps there may be a difference for some women. Could it be that a vaginal climax might be more intense and that she has never really reached a vaginal climax, because she stops me from bringing her to what may seem too intense? When this has happened in the past, I would try to continue thinking that if I could get her to the highest brink just once, she would never want to be without it. I may be completely wrong, and who knows by discussing it in this forum and in a sense practicing what I would say, I may get the courage to actually bring it up with her. At any rate, is it possible that the vaginal results from stimulating the g-spot, when the penis rubs against it? And, the clitoral climax is a milder type that comes from foreplay and oral stimulation of the clitoris and labia? What used to happen is that after foreplay and I entered her, she would kind of take over, and would achieve an orgasm or two, just by undulating back and forth over the head of my penis rather than with me entering all the way. I would let her do this because it seemed to be very satisfying to her. Then, I would procede with deeper lunges from which I usually would climax. However, since her medical problems have developed, she does not lubricate as well naturally, as she used to. I sometimes perform oral sex on her first which often causes a natural lubrication and then I enter her for the vaginal. The problem is, that recently, I have not been able to reach a climax myself this way, and she doesn't seem to have any kind of climax this way. It has lead to a lot of frustration and disappointment for both of us. And, since we don't talk about it, the amount of sex that we have has dropped off dramatically. I know she wants to see me be satisfied, and is willing to perform oral sex on me or to masturbate me, but these are not as satisfying for me and never resulted in a climax for me. So-o-o-o-o-o! It is very frustrating.

 
Old 11-21-2007, 09:56 AM   #5
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

When a woman has had an orgasm it can really hurt if the stimulation is continued, that would be my guess as to why she is pushing you away afterwards. You need to wait for her to 'cooldown' some before she goes for a second, if she even wants to.

Also, all orgasms vary in intensity depending on how turned on you are, so it doesn't really matter 'where' it comes from.

I assume when you say vaginal orgasm, you mean the g spot orgasm? If so, she won't achieve this through oral sex as the g spot is inside the vagina and needs quite hefty stimulation....some women feel nothing at all at that spot.

 
Old 12-04-2007, 12:16 PM   #6
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

I know I can only have a vaginal orgasm if my clitoris is being stimulated as well...you just have to find the right position. I'm guessing that's the way most women can have vaginal orgasms. You can even buy a tiny vibrator to put on her **** while you're having sex. Good luck!

 
Old 12-04-2007, 01:33 PM   #7
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

The bottom line, I think, is not to worry too much about the orgasm. You see, what feels good, FEELS GOOD!, whether you call it an orgasm, almost orgasm, or nothing at all. You see what I mean? If your wife enjoys going to a particular point then stopping, that's what pleases her. Although, sometimes we do need to push ourselves a little farther to see what happens.

Sex is about pleasing your partner, what/however that may be, not getting her to an orgasm so to speak. Too many folks have the mindset orgasm=plesaure.

I think I know exactly what your wife is feeling. This may sound odd, but sometimes I have to relax, try to tone things down a little, and relax my pelvic area so that the excitement doesn't get too intense. I really think it would work WONDERS if more guys would slow down, [deleted] This smoothly and lovingly, stimulates the nerve endings, as well as makes her feel more special emotionally, which is crucial to a woman's orgasm, in my experience, or at least a more deeply satisfying one. Also, it gives her time to yearn for you, because let's face it, she's probably been working, cooking, cleaning, caring for a relative, or some other such task all day long that demanded her complete attention, and as much as she loves sex with you, just hasn't really been able to focus her mind on feeling the pleasure.

For years, and even still now at times, I have to push my SO's hand away, or tell him to stop, lighten up, slow down, go away!, etc. because it is too intense. And when it is overpowering like that, it crosses the threshold from pleasurable into ANNOYING. I mean annoying!

What do I do? I ask for more kissing, more "foreplay" type activities. [deleted]

*If you only get one thing from my response, let it be this message: LIGHTEN UP. Use a gentle touch.*

If you lighten up, you'll be sure not to overstimulate, because you'll give her time to actually crave more instead of processing thoughts of overload! overload! Don't overload her.

Tada. Let us know how it goes. I really think this will help you. It helps me.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 12-04-2007 at 07:01 PM. Reason: How-tos removed. Please read and follow the Special Rules of this board.

 
Old 12-04-2007, 09:21 PM   #8
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chubbycheeks View Post
The bottom line, I think, is not to worry too much about the orgasm. You see, what feels good, FEELS GOOD!, whether you call it an orgasm, almost orgasm, or nothing at all. You see what I mean? If your wife enjoys going to a particular point then stopping, that's what pleases her. Although, sometimes we do need to push ourselves a little farther to see what happens.

Sex is about pleasing your partner, what/however that may be, not getting her to an orgasm so to speak. Too many folks have the mindset orgasm=plesaure.

I think I know exactly what your wife is feeling. This may sound odd, but sometimes I have to relax, try to tone things down a little, and relax my pelvic area so that the excitement doesn't get too intense. I really think it would work WONDERS if more guys would slow down, [deleted] This smoothly and lovingly, stimulates the nerve endings, as well as makes her feel more special emotionally, which is crucial to a woman's orgasm, in my experience, or at least a more deeply satisfying one. Also, it gives her time to yearn for you, because let's face it, she's probably been working, cooking, cleaning, caring for a relative, or some other such task all day long that demanded her complete attention, and as much as she loves sex with you, just hasn't really been able to focus her mind on feeling the pleasure.

For years, and even still now at times, I have to push my SO's hand away, or tell him to stop, lighten up, slow down, go away!, etc. because it is too intense. And when it is overpowering like that, it crosses the threshold from pleasurable into ANNOYING. I mean annoying!

What do I do? I ask for more kissing, more "foreplay" type activities. [deleted]

*If you only get one thing from my response, let it be this message: LIGHTEN UP. Use a gentle touch.*

If you lighten up, you'll be sure not to overstimulate, because you'll give her time to actually crave more instead of processing thoughts of overload! overload! Don't overload her.

Tada. Let us know how it goes. I really think this will help you. It helps me.
hi,
I been reading these post and I posted my 2 cents, but I'm not sure if I understand what your saying here?
don't over stimulate? don't overload? and then you go on to you say more foreplay more soft touching?
I can see that after the fact but not before! but most of the time after is good for cuddleing ect,,ect,,

When I get my g/f all aroused & teased and she wants to be sexually pleasured very intensely, she is the one that initates me to penetrate her and ect,,ect,,,
the only time she has ever ''pushed'' me away is if she was ill or just was to tired ect,,ect,,
I agree that after the orgasm for a female it is quite sensivtive, true with us males and thats not pleasurable for them/or us...if stimulation is still occuring.
some women can keep on and eventually have another wild orgasm but thats one in a million women that can do that.

 
Old 12-05-2007, 08:01 AM   #9
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

I appreciate all the feedback, especially from the women. It has given me some things to think about. My wife has always been able to have multiple orgasms up until she recently developed some health problems and has been given a number of medical prescriptions that have affected her sexual sensitivities, have caused increased weight, fatigue, etc. These are all things that have negatively impacted our sexual relationship. We're still good overall. Have come to appreciate each other enough in other ways that sex is not the only barometer of how good we are together. But, sex was always a big part before. And, what I do not get through intimacy with her, I do myself through masterbation. Masterbation is never as good as intercourse or some other kind of interaction (as Chevyman says, skin on skin is good). With her condition, it seems that what she enjoys the most is me bringing her to orgasm through oral sex. I enjoy doing whatever works for her, but a side of the medications is an increased unpleasant odor from her vagina. So, it has presented some challenges. I have been doing a lot of investigation both here on the health boards and elsewhere in order to find the road to successful sexual relations in our current situation. I use a flavored gel that helps some. At lerast it tastes good. But, the reason I asked about the difference between a vaginal versus a clitoral orgasm in the first place, was because of these changes she is going through. Whereas before, she would have several mild orgasms early into the act of intercourse without the oral part always being a part of it. I would enter her, and she would take over. By that I mean, it seemed best for her if I just let her control the depth and the movement. And, through this, it seemed that she got the most out of having the head of my penis just inside her vagina. Deep thrusting on my part did nothing for her, but if I would be still, she would do the thrusting keeping it shallow enough that the head of my penis was just inside her, leading me to assume that she was having clitoral orgasms, rather than vaginal. Whenever I've tried stimulating the G-spot, there wasn't much reaction, pro or con. After she had had several of these mild orgasms, I would begin what was more satisfying for me, the deep thrusts until she would have another more powerful orgasm. It was after these that she would push me away. She never seemed to be uncomfortable in a painful way, but in a way that I sensed was the coming of an even more powerful orgasm that she has never allowed herself to experience. It is actually kind of hard to explain. But, now that we have had this discussion, I am just going to ask her if it hurts the next time it happens. My usual question was have you had an orgasm, because I thought her reaction was too mild to be the real thing. She always said it was good. I porbalby have you all confused now.

 
Old 12-15-2007, 09:27 AM   #10
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

A clitoral orgasm is when you rely ONLY on the **** and you can make a woman reach orgasm by just touching the ****. (I think this is better) A vaginal orgasm is when, during intercourse you reach orgasm from a different area if the vagina. (insude) I think this is when a womans g spot is stimulated. A clitoral orgasm is extermely intense!!! I pull away or even push my partner away when I am reaching my climax. Although it is so intense, it does feel better in my opinion. Now for awhile I could only orgasm clitorally but when I stopped my medicine, I was able to reach orgasm vaginally too. The reason your wife likes oral sex is because you are stimulating her **** which is more intense and probably more pleasuring. The push away is only because the orgasm is so intense! Dont be insulted. This is all of course my opinion but I have been looking for some questions and answers about the 2 different types of orgasms also

 
Old 12-16-2007, 09:26 AM   #11
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Re: Vaginal vs Clitoral Orgasms?

Thanks Amanda for your input. It goes to show just how different we all are, even within one sex or the other. Your response renewed my understanding of the differences between the two kinds of orgasm, and your explanation describes exactly how my wife reacts to one versus the other. Isn't it interesting that among the different female answers given here, there is a different explanation given by each one? Only speculation on my part and certainly no disrespect intended towards the others who repsonded, but the different answers lead me to believe that not all women have had a vaginal orgasm, thus they know not what it feels like. I think this further substantiates something I have heard before and that is that the size of the male penis isn't that important for all those who worry so about it. It's what you do with it. My wife for example seems to enjoy much more intensely a shallow penetration for her pleasure. And, I usually forego any deep penetration until she has had an orgasm or two. It must be from the contact of my penis head with her G-spot, which is relatively close to the front of the vagina. What are your thoughts, Amanda?

 
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