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Old 12-30-2007, 08:50 PM   #1
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Liv1980 HB User
Unhappy Adult virgin - and hating it!!

I feel stupid writing about this on a message board. I’m 27, soon to be 28, and still a virgin. By virgin I mean I've never kissed a guy. I grew up in a conservative, religious home where sex wasn’t something we talked about. My parents were somehow blissfully ignorant of the fact that my brother and I were growing up and that sex would eventually become an issue. Even now my mom views me as if I weren’t a sexual being at all. Like she doesn’t think I should or would want it.

Um, I do. I have for a long time. This may sound ridiculous coming from a virgin, but I’m a very sexual person. Religious upbringing, shyness, insecurity, and lack of knowledge have kept me from doing anything about it. My current existence is one big blur of sexual frustration. Sometimes I wonder how I made it this far.

All my family and close friends expect me to be as pure as the driven snow until marriage. That’s not how I want to live my life at all. What if I never get married? They would expect me to die a virgin. Yeah right. But I’m afraid to do what I want for fear of disappointing everyone. And God only knows how many times I’ve heard the horror stories about STDs and unwanted pregnancies. I realize those things are serious issues, but I’m tired of the scare tactics. Everything in life has risks. I was never educated about how to minimize them – just that "abstinence is the key."

Sometimes I think I should go to a bar, get drunk, and go home with a random guy to get it over with. I would hate myself later, though. I don’t want to sleep with just anybody. I want it to be someone I love and care about, or am at least strongly attracted to. Maybe I’m too picky? I’m not looking for perfection, just a decent guy who takes care of himself and others, has his priorities straight, and connects with me in the important ways (values, lifestyle, chemistry...). I’ve met a few guys in the past that I was interested in, but for various reasons they were totally impractical for me. And then there is the shyness issue. Because of my inexperience, I get really nervous and shy around guys I’m attracted to.

I don't really know what I'm looking for. Maybe just to vent. Or maybe for advice. Or maybe there are other people out there like me. I don't know.

I’m still young. I’m not a supermodel, but I’m pretty and in great shape. I’m college educated. I have a great job. And I feel like such a freak.

 
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Old 12-31-2007, 12:16 AM   #2
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Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

You said your parents are conservative. Let's say you meet a guy and you guys become friends. You guys hang out like all of your other friends. Then one day, you start falling your him, and you realize that he's perfect in every way, and you guys have great chemistry, and the feeling is mutual in return. Now, let's also say that your parents love him. They think he's a great, that he's respectful, and has his head straight, etc. But when tell them that you guys have feelings for each other, they object. They disapprove of their daughter dating him. Maybe it's because of his religion, race, his parents' status, because he's poor, rich, whatever. But bottom line is, they disapprove of him and you guys are falling for each other. Will listen to your parents and not date him or give him a chance? Or, let's say, you actually dated him without your parents knowing, and you fall in love with him, and when you told your parents about it, they object. Will you follow your heart and let your parents deal with it, or will you leave him to make your parents happy and you losing that perfect guy?

Why are you letting your parents control your life? You're almost 28 years old, when are you looking to settle down? Do your parents want you to settle down? At what age are you planning on having your first kid? and last kid? How old were your parents when they got married? Did they date before they got married? Or was their marriage arranged?

I'm 28 about to be 29, and a lot of my female friends of the same age or a couple years younger have already settled down for a few years and have a few kids. Do you want to be 30 when you have your first kid, and be 48 when your he/she is 18? or do you want to be 40 when you have your first child, and be 58 when your child graduates high school?

I understand your parents are conservative and I'm sure they mean good (otherwise, they are probably trying to make up with their children for what they lacked or did wrong growing up, and that's very very unfair. In that case, see how well they've turned out by doing wrong? Therefore you should do wrong too), but you can't let your parents dictate the fulfillment of your life. Being a woman in America, you have all the opportunities and freedom to be independent. Take advantage of that. Millions of women around the world can only wish they have 10% of the freedom/opportunities you have. If you don't live for yourself, live for the million of women who would die to have what you have.

I don't mean this in a mean way, but you're getting older. When are you going to experience being a female (instead of a little girl)? You need to be independent, what will you do when your parents pass and you have no one to dictate your life anymore? Go out and experience a full life. Don't wait until you're 60 to look back and regret what you had not done. What will you tell your grand kids (IF you ever have them...or still alive when your children have them)? It's never too late to start experiencing love.

I've always told myself that I would never want to marry a virgin. It's sad, but I really want to meet a girl who'd been there and done that. I'm not just talking about sex, but everything else. Someone who's partied and gotten drunk every weekend, but has now moved on to the next stage in life. Someone who's dated numerous guys and now knows who exactly she is looking for. Someone who's even done drugs, but has learned from it. I want someone who does not have regrets for what she has not done before she commit herself to me. Because I do NOT want a girl who's clueless to be give birth to my children. If she's had the experience, then she can relate to the children when such a problem arises.

Back in the olden days, it was important for women to be pure so she find herself a man. And to do what? TO BE KEEP IN A HOUSE TO COOK AND CLEAN AND THEN CONTROLLED BY HER HUSBAND!?!?!? Come on now. Women are more educated than ever in this day and age. You said you're college educated, YOU CAN READ!!! You said you have a great job. GREAT, then I don't think you'd want be kept secluded as a housewife. Your parents mean good, but you need to break away.

Many girls I know defy what their parents "WANT" for them. Remember, it YOUR life. They've lived their youth, now you need to live whatever's left of yours. Life's full of regrets. Without regrets, you will never learn to better yourself the next time. Hell, without regrets (according to Christianity), we wouldn't even be here. Human is a product of sin. Why are you trying to keep yourself perfect? Why? Just so when you're 80 years old living alone with 20 cats to look back and say, "I didn't get to do anything in life, but I'm perfect, though". Perfect in what way? I see perfection as being well rounded in every aspect of life. What can YOU say for your love live? NOTHING? Why is that? Cuz you're trying to keep your parents happy. Wow, your parents had you just so they can "PERFECT" their lives.

I remember growing up, my cousin (a female and a year older than me) was so sheltered by her mother and she wanted to break away from it so bad. She was 18 and her mom (my aunt) did not let her do anything with guys. She was not allowed to talk on the phone with a guy (towards the end it was "...for a long time"). My aunt constantly yelled at her, "blah blah blah...you gonna be a **** for him??? blah blah blah...". Well, after she graduated high school, she went to a local university and moved into the dorms and never lived with her mother again. Now, they have a great relationship (mother and daughter), and my cousin bought a house with her fiance about 3 years ago, and they're all happier than ever.

I'm not telling you to go out and be the town ****. But you need to let go of your parents and be a woman, because, let's face it, you're not that young anymore. You're old, and getting older. You need to satisfy yourself (I do not mean this “sexually”) and fulfill your own happiness (this can be “sexually”). Last thing you want to do is look back and regret what you have not done because you didn’t want to let your parents down. They have to understand (NOW MORE THAN EVER) that you are a woman now, and you need to know that as a woman in this day and age, you are free to do whatever you want. You need to take those baby steps toward love, and now is best time to start learning.

OK, enough of that talk…now to the more exciting part of your “distress”. It seems you have a lot of sexual frustration that you are holding in. STDs are scary and trust me, you don’t want to wake up the next day and regret for the rest of your life either. A one night stand is not the way to lose your virginity. Well, on the other hand, a lot of girls seem to have a lot of problems of letting go of their first one, so maybe, it’s not such a bad idea for you to hit and run and never see again. Egh, that was a bad idea. Sorry.

You said you’re pretty and in great shape, you shouldn’t have a problem picking a guy then. With your parents raising you to be conservative and you never experiencing the opposite sex, I’m sure you have a lot of standards for a guy. Right now, I think you just need to go out and date guys. I’m not saying to out and screw every guy you meet. But, go out and have fun. Meet different guys, get to know them. Only then can you really say you know what you want in a guy. Heck, the guy who you end up marrying may be totally opposite of you. Remember, opposites attract. You cannot say that you’ve found love if the first guy you date and sleep with is the guy you’re going to marry. That is the reason why you need to get around (not like a ****). And that is the reason why I do not want to marry a girl who has not dated many guys. If I’m the only guy she’s been with and loved, how do I know that down the line, once she’s settled in with me that she doesn’t go out and finds something interesting in another person and it not sweep her off her feet. You need to go out and gain some life experience so you can be a whole package.

And as far as your sexual frustration, instead of going to a bar and bag the first guy you see, you should try masturbation. I hope I don't sound like a sexist pig when I say this, but you seem to have a lot of frustrations packed up inside that need to be let out and the only way to do that right now is masturbating. It will help you deal with a lot of daily problems. Other than you (if you’re saying that you’re really SHELTERED), I do not believe anyone (else) when they say they do not masturbate. Orgasm is one of the greatest feelings in the world, and it’s one of the greatest stress reliever. One of my ex-g/f experienced an orgasm through masturbation long before she lost her virginity. I’m sure at the age of 27, you have got to have experienced an orgasm, whether by physical touch, or if not, then in your sleep. You need to relieve all the stress and frustration, so I suggest you start satisfying yourself while you wait to find that special someone. Don’t be embarrassed, because trust me when I say that EVERYONE does it.

OK, well, I wish what I had written made some sort of sense to you. It’s late and I’ve had a long week at work and I have 2 more rough days at work before the new year starts, so some of the things I wrote may not have made that much sense to you…but I hope you pick up a few pointers or not. Heck, I’m no one to give advice to you, but this is just my point of view...Good luck ya!

Last edited by Mod-S4; 12-31-2007 at 07:14 AM. Reason: TMI. How-to. Rude. Please read the Special Rules sticky at the top of the boardl

 
Old 12-31-2007, 12:29 AM   #3
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ssjup81 HB User
Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

I'm 26 and a virgin still and incredibly inexperienced where sex is concerned (I've had a boyfriend, but I didn't want to have sex with him), but I'm remaining one by choice and it has nothing to do with my upbringing, so I can't relate fully to that. I do have this feeling I'll never be able to physically have children, though...but never mind.

What you need to do is to not live the way your parents want. You are an adult, and it's time for you to make your own choices in this regard. Since you're really interested in settling down someday, you should just try dating and see where things go for you. Getting drunk and settling for the first guy you see in a bar is a very bad idea. Not a safe one either. You should take things nice and slow, or whatever pace you feel comfortable with, and such until you feel okay with said guy you end up with. I don't agree with just sleeping with the first guy you hook up with. He might turn out to be a jerk or something whose only intention was to sleep with you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous guy
I've always told myself that I would never want to marry a virgin. It's sad, but I really want to meet a girl who'd been there and done that. I'm not just talking about sex, but everything else. Someone who's partied and gotten drunk every weekend, but has now moved on to the next stage in life. Someone who's dated numerous guys and now knows who exactly she is looking for. Someone who's even done drugs, but has learned from it. I want someone who does not have regrets for what she has not done before she commit herself to me. Because I do NOT want a girl who's clueless to be give birth to my children. If she's had the experience, then she can relate to the children when such a problem arises.
Sorry, just thought I'd question this here since PMing doesn't seem to be an option on this board. What if you end up with a virgin girl who has dated, just never had sex and never done the other things you mentioned above (like drugs or gotten drunk like an idiot)? Would you still turn that person down? Seriously, when it comes to mothering, that's usually maternal instinct and common sense anyway. The girl could be inexperienced with relationships, but that doesn't means she'd be inexperienced at life, even though I'm the type who doesn't party (unless it's a dinner party in a sophisticated setting), has never done drugs, or has never gotten drunk because I chose not to do those things because they do not appeal to me and, imo, is pretty stupid to me (only referring to drugs and excessive drinking).

Some people just have high certain standards and just doesn't want to give it up to just any guy she dates. If I don't feel an emotional connection to a guy I date, I wouldn't even consider sleeping with him.

Last edited by ssjup81; 12-31-2007 at 12:42 AM.

 
Old 12-31-2007, 03:38 AM   #4
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flinch HB User
Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

Listen, don't let anyone tell you what you shouldn't do - either your parents or on here.. If you want to go out and date guys, do that, if you want to go out and meet guys and hold off on the dating until its someone you're really sure about then great. There's far too much pressure to have got out and done it all - I say far more credit to the one who knew what she wanted and did it, and didn't do what she didn't want to. Of course you should look for all the things you said you were looking for in a guy - why the hell should you settle for less and sleep with someone approximately decent?
The education thing, yes there are ways to prevent pregnancy and STD's, and until you know those and are comfortable with it, personally I'd hold off on the sex. The basic thing is always get the guy to wear a condom, that sorts most things, and never do anything you don't feel safe doing. The best think I can suggest is to go to your GP, completely confidentially, and say you never got any real sex education, can they discus with you preventative measures so you can stay safe. There are a lot of practical sex advice sites as well which will give good basic information.
The problem with trammeling children into abstinence is that they are the ones who go out and rebel, don't know what they're doing and end up becoming the horror stories used to trammel the next generation. The problem with the sexual liberation of today is - as you can see in anonymous' post - everyones expected to have had sex, anyone who's not is a freak, if you die a virgin you haven't lived, you shouldn't wait for love you should go out and settle for lust so you can be great in bed for the one you love later etc etc. Both are bull ****.
Be in control, know what you're doing, and do what makes you happy. I'm very happy with the fact the first guy I dated was the first guy I kissed, shared a bed with, slept with, and I'm very happy to still be with him and if I am for the future thats more than fine with me. The fact I wasn't experienced didn't make the slightest bit of difference.

 
Old 12-31-2007, 03:32 PM   #5
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Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

Hey, thanks to everyone for writing!

I've educated myself about sex and all the risks. The only thing I don't have is experience.

I agree that I need to live my life the way I want. I shouldn't be letting my parents or anyone else decide for me. A big part of the problem is that I'm not sure about my own beliefs. When I was a teen, I considered myself a committed Christian, and I thought I wanted to do the whole waiting for marriage thing. As I got older and I came to know myself better, that changed. And like I said, now it's not something I personally agree with at all. I don't think I ever really did.

To anonymous, I don't consider myself that old. Sure, it would be great to have kids while I'm still young. If I could have made life happen the way I wanted, I would have had two or three kids while I was 25-30. But even if it happens later, it's not like you're broken down by 40. If you take good care of yourself, there's no reason why you can't run around with your kids when you are 40 and older.

I guess I need to just start dating again. I haven't put much effort into that. I used to date quite a lot, and I always hated it. The guys I was attracted to were always the ones I met and got to know naturally in life - at work or school - and never the ones I got set up with or whatever. For whatever reason, those particular guys that attracted me weren't attracted back, weren't practical, were already dating someone else... there was always something. Maybe I was only interested in the unavailable guys because I was too afraid to be in a situation with a guy who might actually reciprocate.

Anyway, I always hoped I'd meet the right guy at the right time, while I was doing my own thing. Yeah, I know, in the real world it takes actual effort. I just don't want to waste what time I have left with all the wrong ones.

Also anonymous, I don't think you have to be worldly wise in every sense in order to feel like you haven't "missed out" on something. I've never done drugs and never wanted to. I never will. That's not exactly something I regret. OK, so I had my fair share of alcohol when I was a younger, but I don't feel like I'm a better person for it. It would have been much smarter for me not to give in to the peer pressure to drink as much as I did.

Anyway, Happy New Year everyone (am I really spending new years writing in a message board?), and thanks for all of your replies.

 
Old 12-31-2007, 06:58 PM   #6
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Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Live1980
Also anonymous, I don't think you have to be worldly wise in every sense in order to feel like you haven't "missed out" on something. I've never done drugs and never wanted to. I never will. That's not exactly something I regret. OK, so I had my fair share of alcohol when I was a younger, but I don't feel like I'm a better person for it. It would have been much smarter for me not to give in to the peer pressure to drink as much as I did.
Exactly. Some people are just mature for their age. I never gave into drugs or alcohol because I knew it was "wrong" and I like not being in jail. Overall, I don't like to do things that'll purposely get me into trouble, and I even thought this way as a teenager. That's also why I was never in a hurry to have sex. I thought of the consequences, the main one being pregnancy since there is no 100% full proof method for birth control aside from abstinence. My logic was this...if you can't afford to take care of a child or provide for a child in anyway, you shouldn't be having sex in case you end up with one. The fact that you semi know what you want is a good thing.

Quote:
Anyway, Happy New Year everyone (am I really spending new years writing in a message board?), and thanks for all of your replies.
Yep and so am I. It's overrated, imo. I'd rather be in the house, safe from all the irresponsible drunk drivers than to be out at a party with loads of alcohol being served. Maybe if I liked alcohol more, outside of mixed drinks (like Daquaris, Margaritas, etc., and even then, I wouldn't mind a virgin daquari) and Champagne (to an extent), maybe I'd go out more. Then again, I'm usually by myself and always driving...so nah. Either way, happy new year to you as well.

 
Old 01-01-2008, 11:28 AM   #7
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Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

Quote:
if you can't afford to take care of a child or provide for a child in anyway, you shouldn't be having sex in case you end up with one
I'm not entirely sure thats true - legally at sixteen you aren't really in a position to take care of or afford a child, but you can still legally have sex. I think it's moved beyond the stage where sex and children are inseperably linked. As to age and having children, a friend of mine only succeeded in concieving in her very late thirties - she's now in her second pregnancy and coping brilliantly with being a mum, and she and her husband both still work their full jobs (he works days, she evenings).
Live i'm glad you've educated yourself, it is right to say there's no 100% flawless method, but with a condom the tiny tiny chance of failure comes if it rips, splits, or semn leaks out the bottom, all of which you can instantly see after sex, and you can take preventative measures e.g. the morning after pill. To not have sex beacuse you're not in a position for children means denying the emotional impact of sex in a relationship. My own personal ideal would be is if you don't know 100% what you are doing when you have sex, how it works, birth control, std's etc then you shouldn't be doing it - which brings me back to how parents teaching abstinance usually find their children have less safe sex than with anyone because they just don't know what they're doing.
Take a couple of friends and get to know some guys between you, girly advice is always useful with dating no matter how big a girl you are.

 
Old 01-01-2008, 12:19 PM   #8
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Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by flinch View Post
I'm not entirely sure thats true - legally at sixteen you aren't really in a position to take care of or afford a child, but you can still legally have sex. I think it's moved beyond the stage where sex and children are inseperably linked.
That's true. I just always felt this way when I was a teenager since the last thing I wanted to do was to get "caught" and have to rely on my mother and father to take care of my child. At least as an adult, you, more than likely, have a job and can help to suppor the child in some way.
Quote:
As to age and having children, a friend of mine only succeeded in concieving in her very late thirties - she's now in her second pregnancy and coping brilliantly with being a mum, and she and her husband both still work their full jobs (he works days, she evenings).
That's very good. Sounds like my parents, only reversed. My father took care of me during the day and my mother evenings. He worked evenings, mom worked days. I'm glad that Live1980 knows that there's no real set age to start having children, and how it's good to just have them when you're comfortable and ready to, if you can help it.

 
Old 01-01-2008, 03:05 PM   #9
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Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

Hey there, I can totally understand where you are coming. Although older Virgins are less common there are many out there. I remember each birthday that came and went and I was still single and still Never been kissed. EAch year I kept thinking, no one will ever want me I don't even know how to kiss properly! I think I actually would give the vibe off like don't come near me when I went on dates cuz i would go on several dates with someone but they would never kiss me! I turned 26 and started to think the same thing, maybe I should head to the local bar where if you don't go home with someone and were trying then something is definitely wrong type deals and just get it done but I had waited this long I wasn't gonna throw it away.

I finally did meet a great guy and I still remember we had gone on like 4 or 5 dates and he still had not kissed me and I was really wanting it but WAY to afraid to make the move. So I finally just asked him if he wanted to kiss me and before I finished he had. I FREAKED OUT a little but with practice got better. I did come clean with him and Told him I had never kissed anyone before and had never had sex. And he loved and cared enough to wait and make sure everything was special for me. Our next kiss he made it really sweet and romantic and our first time together he made sure I was totally sure about it.

don't throw it away. ANd most of all don't be embarassed by it. There is a reason you have waited and when you find that right person trust me you won't be embarassed anymore it will just be so right!!! and you'll be so glad there was no one else. Half the fun is learning and experiencing things together!

You'll find someone when you truly are ready!

 
Old 01-01-2008, 03:28 PM   #10
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Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

First of all, happy new year! Here's hoping it brings good things.

I just wanted to say that I can relate a bit to what you're going through, Liv... I wasn't brought up in an extremely conservative or sheltered household, but sex is a topic that was never (and still isn't) brought up. I've always been aware of my sexuality though, and luckily I've felt comfortable with it. I educated myself about sex. I knew what went where and how things worked, and the consequences of things. I was never really one to frown upon sex before marriage either, because I really think that as long as two people are mature enough to know what they're doing, and it's safe and consensual, then it's a right we all should have.

Then again, I turned 19 in 2007, and had never dated or been kissed. I know 19 is not 26, but I had pretty much resigned myself to being single for at least until after I finished college and moved out of my parents' house and the city I'm in. Socially, it can get awkward - others around you your age or even younger speak of experiences that just make you uncomfortable and feel out of place. I also dealt with chronic depression for about 7 years...but that's a whole other story.

I know how annoying it is to hear others say "oh, you'll find someone, don't worry" and all that BS. It annoyed the hell out of me. At times I did feel like maybe it was just something to get over with and be done with it, but it's not. Don't let the negative thoughts drive you to thinking your only option is to have a one night stand with someone who won't even remember your name. Because when it happens, you'll be glad you waited. I was. I met someone over the summer...it was the most wonderfully unexpected thing. I don't regret a single thing - not even deciding to have sex, even though I had only known him a short time. I went from being completely aware of everything but still inexperienced, to having someone patient and understanding be there with me while I learned.

Just remember to respect yourself and keep being patient, even if it gets rough. Good luck.

 
Old 01-02-2008, 09:15 AM   #11
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ghunt HB User
Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

For what it's worth...I'm about to turn 27 and I was a virgin until about 3 years ago.

I've always been fairly shy and awkward socially, and I never got out and did much. I met a few girls and had several failed attempts at relationships, and a little fooling around, but no sex. I got to the point where I said, ya know, I want my first time to be with someone special and not with just some random chick. I can certainly understand those feelings.

I actually ended up having my first time with a good female friend of mine (that I had formerly dated). We fooled around a bit and ended up having sex, and she was a tiny little girl and very tight and we used no lube. It was not very pleasurable and we didn't go for very long before I called it quits. Wasn't quite as special as I'd hoped it'd be

Now I have a great girlfriend I've been with for almost a year now, and a good sexual relationship.

 
Old 01-02-2008, 01:10 PM   #12
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Re: Adult virgin - and hating it!!

Whether you choose to have sex before marriage, after marraige, at all.. make sure it's your choice. It's one thing for your friend's and family's oppinion to be important to you, just don't let it rule your life, it is after all your life!

It's good that you're educated and know what you want and don't want. I definitely think and agree that you would regret hooking uo with a stranger in a bar. Whether you're 16 or 32, I don't think anyone wants to lose their virginity that way. I'm glad that you've had the self-control to avoid that!

You may feel that you hate being a virgin now, but if you continue to wait for someone who will make it special, someone you care about and that cares about you, it will be worth it.

 
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