I am in my 50's and recently became sexually active again (I am way past menopause). My problem is that my labia minora near the urethra area has been torn from sex.I was afraid because of the swelling and rawness a doctor might think I had been abused (which was not the case). I am a tiny female-95 pounds and so size might be the issue...not sure what to do. We have great sex, and I am extremely lubricated. Must we wait to have sex until I heal?
I would wait... and if it's nothing severe or infected, you shouldn't need to go to the doctor for this. However if it seems to get worse, I'd go to make sure nothing got infected. I used to get a little ripped VERY often but more at the bottom of the opening. I wouldn't always wait until it healed to have sex again, and it would always feel worse. It would be very painful and would hurt to use the restroom because the skin was hurt. I just waited for it to heal and it would be fine. Just be careful and if it happens again, you may have to wait longer. Sometimes a few days isn't enough for it to heal completely. I just try to pay attention to this area during sex and avoid too much friction on that area. Even if you are well lubricated, you may want to use a little extra lubricant on this one area. Good luck!
I agree that using a lubricant can definitely help. I have a few friends who are waiting for marriage and are worried about their partner's size, but I tell them the width usually would cause more pain than the length. A thicker guy can definitely cause some rips if you aren't very gentle. I'm still this way even after years later! Lube definitely helps this issue though.