It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - Women Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-24-2008, 11:10 AM   #1
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 104
Phoenixprouk HB User
Red face Sex with a virgin, I need some advice from the fairer sex!

Hey guys,

Basically im 23 and my girlfriend is 18 and we have gone ahead and fallen for each other, and are the point where we want to take our relationship to the next stage, sex.

Now I have had a few sexual partners before and am kind of experienced, my girlfriend however, has never done anything sexual with anyone at all. Now Im completely fine with that, I think its definitley a case of who you are with as opposed to what you know.

Anyway, the moment came to us and we started to, well you know. Anyway, We got to a point, when it became quite clear that I wasnt going to 'fit' in there, in fact there was no chance of it.

So my first question is, is this normal, is there anything we can do to make it easier. (I dont know how to word this, but lets just say, everything was in the right condition for, it to go in, however it just did not seem like it was physically possible).

Secondly, we decided just to do 'other' things, anyway, after 3 attempts, she couldnt... well I guess the best way to put it would be to say 'Finish'. But she told me she was afraid as she was enjoying it alot, and has never 'finished' before, having not even done anything of this nature before. I really do trust her and after alot of disbelieving it, I think she is being honest. But does this sound like a real possibility? Having never been a virgin woman, im having trouble understanding. Especially as guys when they are in their teens tend to 'finish' themselves quite alot!

I know about the rules on the forum so im not asking for tips of that nature, just advice and perspective from other women!

Many thanks Guys!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-26-2008, 03:00 AM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 33
rah ishbah HB User
Re: Sex with a virgin, I need some advice from the fairer sex!

Hi

I am a female in my late teens. I have also never "finished" (to use your words) myself. I've never had the drive to do it, so i haven't. I have also heard of guys who haven't done it themselves until after someone else has done it for them first.

Some people simply do not get strong sexual urges so don't bother. Everyone is different.

Also, as ur gf is a virgin, it is very normal that you do not fit. She may be nervous and this isn't good when she needs to relax to allow you to fit. To help with this, make sure she is really ready to do this with you. She might (not saying she is because i dnt know what ur situation is like) not be ready but is just trying to please you. If you are both really ready for this, try to get in at least half an hours forplay before trying penetration. Also, using a lot of lube will make everything happen easier and will help out ur gf a LOT!

Good luck

 
Old 03-26-2008, 03:53 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,487
tUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB User
Re: Sex with a virgin, I need some advice from the fairer sex!

This sounds very normal to me! If your girlfriend has not done anything sexual (or masturbation as well) most likely she still has her hymen and her opening will be very small. I highly recommend taking your time with moving to the next step. Maybe you can do other sexual activities for a bit until she gets used to that before moving on to sex itself. It will help her relax and feel more comfortable with it. A lot of young women (and even older) have never had an orgasm or don't really know what to do. It's something you just learn! Things can feel great, but it's difficult for some women to orgasm. With some, once it happens, you get an idea of how you can have one again. Just don't rush and take your time and have fun with things. Be gentle and use a lubricant when you do have sex. If she is open to the idea, using small toys can get her used to it and her hymen can break gradually instead of all at once and feeling sore from it.

Good luck!

 
Old 03-27-2008, 08:25 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
trystme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,101
trystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB User
Re: Sex with a virgin, I need some advice from the fairer sex!

I can remember the first few times of "trying" were not successful, it wouldn't go in, just as you decribe. It was like there was a wall preventing entry. Eventually after many tries, it finally went in and it wasn't even painful.

As for not orgasaming yet, don't worry about that either. Eventually, that should happen as well. Just remember that most women do not orgasm through intercourse but need a lot of clitoral stimulation. Receiving oral is the best way for me to orgasm.

 
Old 04-01-2008, 02:40 AM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hayward, California, USA
Posts: 29
celiv2003 HB User
Re: Sex with a virgin, I need some advice from the fairer sex!

First of all, it is nice that you are asking for advice. Most men just push the girl to do it without caring about her "finishing".

I agree with a previous reply, the fitting is has a lot to do with how much relaxed she is. She just have to get her into the mood and do it slowly. Maybe try and take breaks by turning her on in other ways and try again.

I have to emphasize slowly, if she tells you to stop, stop, and move in when she is ready again.

As for her "finishing" i think is a matter of finding what pleases her the most. Sometimes that is hard to find when you are young, so I would just say try different things.

Best of luck

 
Old 04-05-2008, 02:56 AM   #6
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 104
Phoenixprouk HB User
Re: Sex with a virgin, I need some advice from the fairer sex!

Thanks so much guys, your advice is truly appreciated. We have tried a couple more times and have gotten a little further, but each time ive said if she wants to stop at any point to say, theres no rush.

Any other tips etc are welcome to what has been an already really helpful and insightful thread of replies.

 
Old 04-05-2008, 12:02 PM   #7
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Missouri
Posts: 19
Sheridan19 HB User
Re: Sex with a virgin, I need some advice from the fairer sex!

dude, been there done that. I was a virgin before i my hsband came along. you have to start slow. and the not being able to finish is totally okay. i didnt have an orgasm until like the 4th or 5th time me and my husband had sex. virgins dont know what it's supposed to feel like, i thought i had already had one and didnt know it until i had a real one. so just be patient with her, annd help her ease into it. it is going to hurt, like getting your ear pierced. and it is normal to have a little blood on her part. just thought i should let you know beforehand! good luck, but i will tell you sex is best saved for marriage.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 04-05-2008 at 07:25 PM. Reason: How-to. Please read the Special Rules sticky at the top of the page.

 
Old 04-10-2008, 07:41 PM   #8
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 104
Phoenixprouk HB User
Re: Sex with a virgin, I need some advice from the fairer sex!

Just to update you guys who helped so much, thank you! We finally did it, 6th time lucky!

Afterwards it was pretty amazing, she was really happy (although in a fair bit of pain).

Anyway, I was a little worried, she felt a bit light headed and sick in the evening, im guessing its related but I wanted to check this was normal?

(And again, wow, thank you guys ;-) )

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
need to fake being a virgin!!! destiny5200 Women's Health 21 08-27-2009 04:22 PM
I'm 30 and was a virgin up until last week..PLEASE HELP ME! luvs2laugh Sexual Health - Women 18 08-22-2009 09:21 AM
The 31 Year Old Virgin... violetmusic Sexual Health - Women 14 06-03-2008 09:58 PM
Adult virgin - and hating it!! Liv1980 Sexual Health - Women 11 01-02-2008 01:10 PM
Am I Still A Virgin? Whoknowswhoiam Sexual Health - Teens 13 03-05-2005 10:53 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Thisby (8), odolson (6), STLouisgal (6), UofMWolverines (5), solofelix (4), Whoopee (4), katlin09 (4), JumperOK (4), Mod-S4 (4), Titchou (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1139), MSJayhawk (943), Apollo123 (860), janewhite1 (823), Titchou (774), Gabriel (743), ladybud (667), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (655), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:19 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Copyright and Terms of Use 1998-2014 HealthBoards.com All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!