I feel guilty? - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

TakeMyBreathAway · 04-05-2008, 08:03 PM

Hey,

I'm not sure of the rules on this forum, so I'm only going to ask for advice. And thats probably what I need most anyhow.

I've recently gotten engaged to a wonderful man who has always respected my decision to wait until our wedding night to have sex.
I was brought up to believe in that, but my decision had nothing to do with that. It had to do with only being with one person, it has to do with romance and giving something to the one person Im going to spend the rest of my life with.

I'm 22 now and made that decision eight years ago. And even though its so important to me to wait, there's a lot of days where I just really...dont want too. We picked our wedding date to be October 26,2009. And yes, thats not really that far away..but at the same time it is.

I love this man with all my heart and soul and I do want to take that next step...and I dont. I do because I love him, I'm going to marry him and I'm ready to take that next step. But then there's the other side of that is its important to me to wait until my wedding night and if I dont I cant really imagine how much its going to eat away at me...but the thing is, ..should it?

Thanks for all the advice.

Jessica

Abbygal · 04-05-2008, 09:24 PM

This is coming from an 18 year old so it's possible you may think my advice is just out of age range. But I'll say what I have to say...

I'm a firm believer in the follow your heart deal. You seem like your heart is set on waiting for your special night and it's your mind making you feel guilty. But chances are, since you've been set on waiting until your special night for so long, that if you give in it IS gonna eat away at you and make you feel horrible for whatever reason :/

I'm someone who has decided to just wait for the one person you care truely for and make sure those feelings are real. That's the way I have always felt about sexual matters and made my decision based on that... year and half later, I'm not disappointed in myself one bit. I'm still with the guy and I can see a future with him.

This really is just something you gotta think upon and make sure you dig down to the nitty gritty of the ordeal and make the decision for you. In the end, it's gonna be right and okay

tUrRrRa · 04-06-2008, 01:22 PM

If it's really want you want to do, stick with it! It will make your first time with him VERY special and he will enjoy himself very much. It will be tough waiting it out, very tough, but think about how much it means to you to wait.

I'm not sure about if you are waiting just for sex or for ALL sexual activities... I know some people who have oral sex but are planning to wait to have intercourse til marriage. This can be an option if it goes with your beliefs.

Just do what you really want to do deep down inside. Don't make the decision in the heat of the moment when you're in the mood! Think it out and be sure it's what you really want.

wholegrain · 04-08-2008, 12:24 AM

Do you believe in having outercourse (oral and manual, etc.) with him before marriage? This could be a way to ease the tension and "hold you over", but still have that ONE special thing for the honeymoon.