It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - Women Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-07-2008, 10:35 AM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: CA
Posts: 4
petluv HB User
NO Sex due to Husbands health problems

I am at my wits end! I have tried to be VERY undersanding that my husband of 34 yrs is unable to have sex due to Diabetes Type2, Chronic Arthritis in his spine along with chronic pain plus being very overweight. He also has short term memory lost due to Sleep Apnea. I know that most of you would say LEAVE! However, that is not possible due to financial reasons and of course emotional feelings. My husband is also disabled due to the above and spends most of time at home. I have Fibromyalgia and low back problems but I still try to keep as active as I can. I am on disability due to my Fibromyalgia.
I still have needs!! I miss being intimate! I have tired talking to my husband about this but that makes things worse. Is there anything we or I could do that would help the situation?? NO I am not having an affair!

 
Old 07-07-2008, 10:47 AM   #2
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Seattle, Washington, USA
Posts: 144
jenuine86 HB User
Re: NO Sex due to Husbands health problems

Why don't you try some toys? Have him massage you with a vibrator maybe? There are fun oils and lubes you can play with too that should be quite nice. maybe he can be turned on by seeing you be turned on? The least he can do is try to please you with the body parts he CAN use and if he can't do that, there are man made tools which feel grreeeaaat and if he can give you intimacy while using them on you, that just makes it ten times better, doesn't it?
and with the toys you can use them in your private time too. You are too young still not to be having pleasure when you need it.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-09-2008, 02:08 PM   #3
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,017
Executor HB UserExecutor HB UserExecutor HB UserExecutor HB UserExecutor HB UserExecutor HB User
Re: NO Sex due to Husbands health problems

Get him to your family Doc and have him tested for low T, or testosterone. I'm willing to bet that he has the T of an old man....Meds and the other things you list are the root cause.

The good news is that HRT is safe and can just about completely restore his vitality. If found to have low T, one is usually prescribed a lotion / gel called "Androgel" which you rub on your arms or shoulders once a day. If he's not have AM erections, his T is too low. Either your family Doc can treat you, or can be referred to a URO or ENDO.

Good luck.

Ex

 
Old 07-09-2008, 06:39 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,485
tUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB UsertUrRrRa HB User
Re: NO Sex due to Husbands health problems

If he isn't willing to change and if you are still happy in the relationship, I'd also try some toys. Many people shy away from them, but there's nothing wrong with them and can provide you with what you feel is missing. Then you can really focus on just spending time with your husband and making sure the two of you are happy together.

 
Old 07-09-2008, 07:54 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
music47's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 647
music47 HB User
Re: NO Sex due to Husbands health problems

Perhaps your husband's dr would give him a prescription for Viagra or something similar. Also has he considered an inplant? I know this can't be an easy situation for either of you and I think you are a wonderful wife to stick by your husband.

Sincerely Nadine

 
Old 07-10-2008, 06:03 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Mn.
Posts: 788
mrbojangle HB User
Re: NO Sex due to Husbands health problems

Having sex isn't limited to intercourse only. many of us can enjoy so much pleasure with hand stimulation,oral, mutual masturbation, or as mentioned using toys; we just have let our emotions take over.

 
Old 10-20-2008, 11:55 AM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 268
timetoreclaim HB User
Re: NO Sex due to Husbands health problems

Is he unable to get an erection due to medical issues only but has a desire to have sex or is it both a desire and physical issue? That makes a difference on approach.

I think masturbation and more cuddly intimacy with hubby might be your ticket till you get things in order. If he's lacking in the motivational department and you are hoping to provide him a kick start to get some help maybe masturbate in front of him and tell him how you want him. I have been married 20 years and often my hubby will bring me to orgasm before we ever engage in actual "sex" I touch and he helps me without giving too much detail. Anyway it is possible for your hubby to help you feel satisfied even if the two of you don't ultimately have intercourse, talk to him and make suggestions and ask if there are any things he would be interested in trying. Tell him you love him and want him and it would help if even he just helped touch you and talk to you so you could get release.

It's really difficult to know what direction to take not knowing all the issues.

 
Old 10-20-2008, 12:39 PM   #8
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: CA
Posts: 4
petluv HB User
Re: NO Sex due to Husbands health problems

Thank you responding to my post.
I have more or less accepted the fact that we will not have sex again. I know there are many other ways to be intimate but right now I am not going to bring anything up since my husband had surgery last week to repair a hernia that was not done right 4 years ago. Since it was in the stomach area he is still healing.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Husbands family blames me Lovetoall Bipolar Disorder 5 09-27-2009 02:58 PM
Husbands Dr. Appt with GP sarah92202 Lyme Disease 3 07-28-2007 03:04 PM
Grief. over husbands suicide CarenR Grief & Loss 7 07-14-2007 02:33 PM
need advice about my husbands mental health lulu3806 Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 4 06-19-2007 08:46 AM
my husbands 10 year crack addiction mslong35 Family & Friends of Addicts and Alcoholics 13 10-22-2006 01:19 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:54 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!