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Old 07-31-2009, 04:49 PM   #1
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Wifes clitoris split during childbirth.

Hi all,

During the birth of our last child my wifes clitoris split in half. This was over 4 months ago now and she still feals too uncomfortable to begin having sex again. Because of complications during previous pregnancies we were advised not to have sex during the pregnancy, so it has now been over a year since we last had sex and it looks like we could be in for an even longer wait. I had a vasectomy when the latest adition was only a few weeks old and now I wonder if it was worth the bother?

We recently discussed the situation and she says that although the pain has gone she has absolutely no sensation in her clitoris what so ever. She has tried masturbating and gave up without having an orgasm. I asked if she had any idea when she thought she might feel up to it again but she says she really doesnt know. I know it is not worth asking her to help me along as she really does not like to give oral sex and she suffers with painful fore arms when masturbating me due to breaking both her arms as a child. She has given me oral sex only three times during our 10 year relationship, and I know she will not even contemplate it when breast feeding because "the baby eats anything she eats", and she will not give oral sex using a condom because "it feels so unnatural".

Our sex life has always been sparse (exept during the first six months to a year) usually only having sex only once every 2-3 months - unless we are trying to conceve and then it is sometimes as much as twice a day. She has some real hang ups about sex and is very unadventurous - she will only have sex in the missionary position with the lights off. I have suggested she has some councelling about it but she doesnt see the need, thinking that I am the one with the problem and wonders why I would want to have sex "like a pornstar". She also expects oral sex from me every time we have sex which I do not mind - infact I quite enjoy it. I even suggested that I could try giving her oral sex just to see how we go but she will not even try that.

The fact of the matter is that while I am being really understanding about it I still have urges. I have even considered other options (although not too seriosly). I have considered an affair or one night stand but that would be really thoughtless since she is in no fit state to give me what I need. I have considered a prostitute but still think it would be cheeting. I have considered paying for "just" oral sex but still I dont think it would be morraly correct. I am craving sex so much now that I masturbate at least twice a day looking at pornographic images (which I still feal is almost cheeting) and often more frequently and it is really not satisfying me at all.

Basically I have 3 questions.

1) Is she trying it on? I know it sounds a harsh question but considering her lack of libido normally I wonder if this is just an easy way out of having sex at the moment? I have a friend who split her clitoris when giving birth and she she said dont expect sex for a few weeks and be gentle when we start again but didnt give me the impression that I was to think myself lucky if I ever had sex again. She is not such a good friend that I can open a discussion about it but I want some advise from people who have been in the same situation.

2) How would you women feel to catch your husband masturbating to pornographic material, would you feel like you had been cheeted? Would it be cheeting if I went elsewhere to satisy my urges - after all a friend said "it is only cheeting if I am getting what I need from her". I know if I asked her if it was OK for me to have sex with other women until she feels better she would say no - so I guess that means it would be cheeting!

3) What can I do to please her if we do ever restart sexual relations? I have always been well aware of her G-spot and the pleasures it gives her but I cannot effectively stimulate her G-spot until she is suitably aroused and therefore lubricated. I usually arouse her with a bit of massage and all over kissing, then move on to kissing and licking both labia minora and majora in a teasing fashion, eventually I will satisfy her urges by licking the clitoris, finally moving on stimulating the clitoris with my tongue and G-spot with my fingers together. If I were to miss the clitoris stage all together I dont think I could get her fully aroused. Any advise?

I am sorry this post is so long but I have so much to get off my chest and so many questions to ask. Thanks for your time and patience!!

 
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Old 08-01-2009, 06:03 PM   #2
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Re: Wifes clitoris split during childbirth.

She is being insenstive and selfish. I can harldy advise that you go out cheating on her, but I could hardly blame you if you did. Even if she really has lost all feeling down there she should not be making you suffer as well.

 
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