Hello all. I guess I will cut right to the chase. My clitoris is SUPER sensitive. So sensitive that direct contact actually hurts. When my bf performs oral sex on me I have to keep reminding him to not touch his tongue directly on my clitoris. He is totally dumbfounded by this because he has never experienced this with other women he has been with. He thinks that direct contact is what all women want. I am able to orgasm by way of clitoris, but I can't touch it directly. Does this sound normal? Do other women have this problem? Also, he was inspecting it the other night and said that it appears to have a white nub at the very end. Is this normal? My gyno has never said anything looks abnormal. Also, I do not have any kind of STD, as my clitoris has always been sensitive, ever since I began masturbating as a teen. Thanks!
Yes, the clitoris is naturally sensitive having more nerves than anywhere else on the body including the male glans. Having said that, there will be variences in sensitivity in the human population. I wish I could tell you that the sensitivity will lesson over time but as in my own case, I'm just as sensitive as I was 25 years ago and I'm now 45! Like you, I can't tolerate direct stimulation and the only way I've gotten my partner to accept that is to stop all action when he touches it directly. Allot of guys think that the only way to handle and clitoris is directly because they like their own penis' stimulated directly and can't understand that at least with some women there's a differance. I don't have the patience to keep repeatedly having to instruct someone on how to touch me. He now knows that if he touches me in the "known" offensive manner, the sex for that encounter will cease! NO exceptions! NO reminders! Sensitivity is the primary reason I don't care for oral sex being performed on me, I can easily leave it. I don't even touch my own clitoris directly, the only thing that does is water in the bath tub! And, if the string from tampons works it's way upward it will irritate and hurt me to the point of walking bow legged until I can get to a bathroom to move it away.
That being said, I don't think my sensitivy is a problem but rather a blessing. Not all women can orgasm as easily as I can from intercourse because it's the indirect stimulation and pressure that works for me. In the right frame of mind and enough time I can bring myself to orgasm by crossing and squeezing my thighs together, no hands, toys, devices or partner needed!
I have read that some people experience decreased sensitivity with frequent vibrator use but I can't attest to that because I don't use them and when I've tried to use them in the past, even wimpy vibrators are too much sensation for me unless I have a pillow as a barrier. I've even tried to "rough" up my clitoris in an effort to make it less sensitive but that only made me hurt for several days and the sensitivy actually got worse for a few weeks afterwards. So I just choose to accept that's how I'm designed and require that my partner accept it too.
Thank you for the response. I am glad to know that there is someone else who has a really sensitive clitoris. I do not touch mine either, but rather the area around it. I have never had an issue achieving orgasm either, so I guess my only concern is how my bf thinks there is something wrong with it. I do not mind receiving oral because I have trained him how to do it properly so that he does not touch it, but it never fails. Every time he performs oral sex, he touches it directly at least once and it takes some time after that to feel pleasure. I have also tried to directly stimulate my clitoris thinking that maybe it will cease being so sensitive and that never works!! I am glad to know that I am not alone!
Why concern yourself with what he thinks? If he's doing something that hurts you and disrupts your pleasure and he knows it, that's a sign that he either doesn't care or he doesn't listen, both of which are bad in my opinion. Why bother trying to communicate when they don't care and/or don't listen? That's why I implimented the action stops policy with my husband because he was too hard headed to listen and thought he knew my body better than I did, solely based on his past relationships and of course porn. Once he was stopped and refused a couple of times, he finally got the message and started listening for a change!
Both Dr's Berman, one a sex therapist and the other a urologist have discussed clitoral sensitivity on their show as well as in other outlets and many women, not just the two of us, are percieved as having excessively or extremely sensitive clitoris', unable to tolerate direct stimulation. So, tell your boyfriend to hit the net for a little education on the subject and just because you arn't responding just as his past girlfriends did to his attempts doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. It just means that you are differant, and not in any negative manner either, and he'll have to respect that differance. Some people like rocky road ice cream while other like strawberry, chocolate, etc. Do we find fault because someone doesn't like the same ice cream flavor as a past lover or friend? Of course not, so sexuality and all if it's varieties and variances shouldn't be considered abnormal either.
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