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Old 01-07-2010, 04:55 PM   #1
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Help on reducing sex drive

Are there any natural ways of reducing sex drive (something sure shot)?

I am 27 & seriously want to reduce my sex drive. My husband isn't living up to my expectations and I am going mad out of it. Even my menustral cycle is a difficult time...during this time, I have high sex drive but my husband does not understand my emotions at all and rejects me. It is becoming very difficult to take care of myself when I really want to make love.
Also now I really hate his only way of arousal (tickling my nipples), initially I used to like it but now it annoys me. I told him a few times but then it turns off everything and then there is a tough time for myself.
I want to make love more often but we make love 2-3 times a months. That's not enough for me.

I do yoga & meditation to avoid any kinds of thoughts but at some point I lose. Tell me some natural medicines.

 
Old 01-08-2010, 11:48 AM   #2
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

Well normailly the easiest way for a woman to reduce her sex drive is to get married (haha) sorry

 
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Old 01-08-2010, 01:02 PM   #3
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

why are you trying to accomodate HIM when he clearly doesn't care how you feel? why aren't you asking for ways to make your husband more responsive to your needs? why are you with a man who doesn't listen and who rejects you?
at 27 years old you have a long long life ahead of you.....do you really want to spend it with someone who doesn't care about your feelings?

 
Old 01-08-2010, 04:59 PM   #4
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
why are you trying to accomodate HIM when he clearly doesn't care how you feel? why aren't you asking for ways to make your husband more responsive to your needs? why are you with a man who doesn't listen and who rejects you?
at 27 years old you have a long long life ahead of you.....do you really want to spend it with someone who doesn't care about your feelings?
Because I am tired of doing so...I tried a lot many ways but don't know what material he is made of......he is never interested in erotic movies, talks, oral sex or so....& on top of that am married to him...made a life time commitment & can't turn back.
I know that I have a long life ahead of me but can't leave him...because ever since I met him, I never liked any other man. I am stuck.

 
Old 01-08-2010, 05:35 PM   #5
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

girl what i and alot of women out there would give for high sex drive,i go through perimenopause and i have low sex drive,and i was involved with a guy who use to do that nipple thing i hated it and could'nt stand to have him touch me.now i have a guy with high sex drive. if your husband don't want to maybe you need to think about your relationship and if you are still in love with him

 
Old 01-08-2010, 10:13 PM   #6
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

I'm not entirely sure but I thought I read somewhere that there have been court cases involving spouses filing for divorce on the grounds of a sexless marriage. Because when you get married, sex is a part of that marriage contract. If he can't do his part to fulfill that part, you may have a legal right to file for divorce. You may want to look into it. You're way, way too young to go the rest of your life living in a sexless marriage. That's so completely unfair for anyone to have to live that way, you really need to consider it.

 
Old 01-10-2010, 06:11 AM   #7
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

For me personally, the relationship should be the last to go. It may be that it will end up like that, but you sound like you want to try every other conceivable thing first. Even if you don't love him anymore, or as much as in the beginning, if you could fix this problem you'd probably have renewed feelings for him. It is so refreshing to hear someone speak to the commitment they made for life for better or worse.

I think he should increase his drive, not you reduce yours. Has he seen, or is he willing to see a doctor? Maybe his lack of drive isn't all in his head. Maybe readers have suggestions for herbs and the like to increase his drive. My best to you both.

 
Old 01-10-2010, 12:00 PM   #8
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

I still love him same as day 1, he is a gentle man & has lots of good qualities & he loves me as well. It must be his personality to be like that but his attitude towards sex is not convincing me. He thinks there is nothing wrong with the sex related issues but never tried to do a little extra whereas I am ready to try something new.
May be am sounding like frustrated with the relationship that is just because of my incomplete needs (how would it feel when you have your partner in front of you whom you love so much & wanted to make love but every time you have to drag yourself back).

I am ready to follow the advice on herbs that can increase his drive or reduce mine (reducing mine will result in no expectations from him).

 
Old 01-11-2010, 06:38 AM   #9
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

you could suggest to him that he get his testosterone checked.....if it's low, they can give him something to get it back up to where it should be.

 
Old 01-11-2010, 12:03 PM   #10
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

You really need to talk with him. You need to convey that you are concerned about the fate of your marriage if sex is not a part of it. I don't think you should entertain any thoughts of leaving him, but you need to start a dialogue with him so that he understands the importance of intimacy to the relationship.

And I don't think you have an extremely high sex drive. It would be normal to want more, when you're only having sex 2-3 times a month.

Once he understands how important intimacy is to a relationship--not even in the context of your marriage, but in relationships in general--then maybe he will be willing to make the effort to try new things which will bring enjoyment to both of you.

 
Old 01-12-2010, 08:20 AM   #11
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

Thanks everybody for a helping hand.

Wow! Talking....if I could talk to him then there wouldn't be any problem. It's been 2&1/2 years for my marriage and we haven't discussed a single word about sex. There have been times when I wanted to start a conversation by asking questions like how do you feel or so...but I have been turned off by lame answers...and still trying . And I do remember times when frustration & anger had led to aggressive talks. Sometimes most easiest thing becomes the most difficult thing.
To be very honest, I told him a number of times that I would love to hear naughty stories or fantasies but every time his answer was "I don't know such types of stories, I don't know how to talk such things"...I said, "fine if you don't know, there are lots of resources out there...go use them"....and he never ever took me seriously!

Sometimes I really feel bad...I waited all my life to open up to my man and now he doesn't take any interest in my fantasies.

 
Old 01-12-2010, 08:31 AM   #12
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

this goes way deeper than sex......the prognosis for this marriage is very very dire, since you can't talk to him either.....

what exactly are you hanging on to?
he's a gentle man and has good qualities, but he doesn't want to communicate with you and he doesn't want to have sex with you.....
what exactly are his good qualities?

 
Old 01-12-2010, 08:51 AM   #13
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

You do not have a high sex drive~ He has a low one. What about some type of couples therapy?

 
Old 01-12-2010, 09:51 AM   #14
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
this goes way deeper than sex......the prognosis for this marriage is very very dire, since you can't talk to him either.....

what exactly are you hanging on to?
he's a gentle man and has good qualities, but he doesn't want to communicate with you and he doesn't want to have sex with you.....
what exactly are his good qualities?
I am hanging on to the love for him, his qualities. He is highly focused, motivated, career oriented but family loving person...no cheating, no faking, no smoking or drinking, god fearing and hard working, helping & down-to-earth person. His family background is good, he has excellent education & job.....etc...and I can go on. If he acquires a little more interest in the concerned field, he will be like "The Mr. Perfect" that very girl wishes.

I know he loves me because his actions show that. I don't feel that we are at the point to break up...this will never happen. And God Forbid! If it happens then he will break down completely and I will not live.

While writing this post, I got an idea...now the Valentine's Day is coming so how about giving him a gift of some knowledgeable books? If he can not find resources...I can give him one.

 
Old 01-12-2010, 10:24 AM   #15
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Re: Help on reducing sex drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by cindy25 View Post
If he acquires a little more interest in the concerned field, he will be like "The Mr. Perfect" that very girl wishes.
that's a real big "IF" when someone won't communicate with you and isn't the least bit concerned that they're not meeting your needs......

 
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