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Old 02-03-2010, 06:16 PM   #1
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Partial Penetration = Real Sex?

I was recently involved with a man in an ongoing, casual encounter where at one point things just got out of hand and he had the tip of his penis (or just slightly past it) in me for less than 45secs. I know this constitutes as a loss of virginity... and I can accept that.

What I'm mainly concerned is though... did I "ruin" my first experience? If that makes sense... although I must admit I never had sex before (at least prior to that incident), it didn't feel like sex in that it didn't hurt and I couldn't feel anything. If anything, his fingers had caused a lot more pain. I've never experimented and have used objects (except one or two fingers) to penetrate me so I thought it was slightly odd...

And my other question is... did this experience "stretch" my vagina? Or will I be the "same" as I was prior to this incident? Granted, I understand that a woman's vagina can only really stretch after having a baby but from what I gathered it can also stretch lightly after having sex for the first time.

I'm just really curious and anxious about this. Pardon my ignorance. :T

Thank you for your responses in advance!

 
Old 02-04-2010, 12:14 PM   #2
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Re: Partial Penetration = Real Sex?

Hi, from what you describe I would say that most likely that your hymen is still intact, so technically you are still a virgin.

Most times when when the hymen is broken there is a small amount of blood, did you notice any?

Good luck.

 
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Old 02-05-2010, 02:49 AM   #3
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Re: Partial Penetration = Real Sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MTurbo View Post
Hi, from what you describe I would say that most likely that your hymen is still intact, so technically you are still a virgin.

Most times when when the hymen is broken there is a small amount of blood, did you notice any?

Good luck.
Hi MTurbo - I've been really ashamed/stressed about what's happened, so I really do appreciate your response. Thanks.

As much as I would still like to consider myself a virgin (since, to be honest, I didn't see it as sex), I was told it constituted as sex... and I've pretty much accepted the situation for what it is.

Nope, there was no sign of blood - none whatsoever. Does the bleeding have to occur during the initial penetration or does it happen hours/days afterwards? Because I didn't notice any bleeding during the penetration, and I didn't notice any bleeding afterwards at all, but I'm a bit worried I may have just been unaware of it.

And I don't think I may have broken my hymen prior to this incident since I've never inserted anything apart from one-two fingers and I'm not really an active person. I've been horseriding once, but I don't think that would do anything, lol.

I suppose what I'm stressing about is... did I "stretch" during that initial act of penetration? I haven't had any form of penetration (fingers or otherwise) after that incident, so I can't say for sure. I'm not exactly sure why I'm anxious over something trivial, but I just am.

I'm just a bit concerned over the fact that I didn't feel any pain during the penetration... if anything there was just a slight sting/numb that I had feeling still from his fingers. And the pain increased again slightly when he stopped penetrating and used his fingers.

Lol, I guess the point of that rant was that I honestly thought that sex was supposed to be painful. Well, at least... some form of penile penetration anyway.

Last edited by beautifulskies; 02-05-2010 at 02:51 AM.

 
Old 02-05-2010, 10:51 PM   #4
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Re: Partial Penetration = Real Sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulskies View Post
I suppose what I'm stressing about is... did I "stretch" during that initial act of penetration? I haven't had any form of penetration (fingers or otherwise) after that incident, so I can't say for sure. I'm not exactly sure why I'm anxious over something trivial, but I just am.

I'm just a bit concerned over the fact that I didn't feel any pain during the penetration... if anything there was just a slight sting/numb that I had feeling still from his fingers. And the pain increased again slightly when he stopped penetrating and used his fingers.

Lol, I guess the point of that rant was that I honestly thought that sex was supposed to be painful. Well, at least... some form of penile penetration anyway.
It's highly unlikely that you did any "stretching" of the vagina. Even if you did, the vagina is a marvelous thing....It can take a lot of abuse and bounces right back. As your stated, women give child birth and pass what is a small bowling ball through their vagina and all is fine.

As to whether or not sex is supposed to be "painful" the first time....That is a myth. There are many variables involved. First, the size of one's partner is a big factor for the obvious reasons. Men come in all shapes and sizes and some men are very large, but it's the exception, not the rule.

Secondly, depending on your cycle and where you are, your vagina produces much more mucus certain times of the month vs other times. Thus, you may be very lubricated some times, while rather dry other times. This is a important variable because lubrication reduces friction. Friction causes pain. This is why Drs use K-Y or something similar at OBGYN appts.

Thirdly, depending on your level of excitement and etc., you may be much more "in to it" than other times. The higher the level of sexual arousal, the more natural lubrication you'll produce and the more endorphins and natural adrenaline you'll release. Adrenaline is your bodies "fight or flight" response to either excitement or fear. Adrenaline is capable of masking tremendous amts of pain (not that you'll have any...I'm just stating that in general terms). For example, some people have accidents and fill little to no pain due to adrenaline.

Thus, there is a whole lot that goes in to full sexual intercourse, especially your first time. With all due respect, I think you're getting yourself far too worked up over it. Just let things happen naturally and all will be fine. Just because someone reported that it hurt, doesn't mean it will for you.

Best of luck to you.

Regards,

Ex

 
Old 02-10-2010, 04:19 AM   #5
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Re: Partial Penetration = Real Sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Executor View Post
It's highly unlikely that you did any "stretching" of the vagina. Even if you did, the vagina is a marvelous thing....It can take a lot of abuse and bounces right back. As your stated, women give child birth and pass what is a small bowling ball through their vagina and all is fine.

As to whether or not sex is supposed to be "painful" the first time....That is a myth. There are many variables involved. First, the size of one's partner is a big factor for the obvious reasons. Men come in all shapes and sizes and some men are very large, but it's the exception, not the rule.

Secondly, depending on your cycle and where you are, your vagina produces much more mucus certain times of the month vs other times. Thus, you may be very lubricated some times, while rather dry other times. This is a important variable because lubrication reduces friction. Friction causes pain. This is why Drs use K-Y or something similar at OBGYN appts.

Thirdly, depending on your level of excitement and etc., you may be much more "in to it" than other times. The higher the level of sexual arousal, the more natural lubrication you'll produce and the more endorphins and natural adrenaline you'll release. Adrenaline is your bodies "fight or flight" response to either excitement or fear. Adrenaline is capable of masking tremendous amts of pain (not that you'll have any...I'm just stating that in general terms). For example, some people have accidents and fill little to no pain due to adrenaline.

Thus, there is a whole lot that goes in to full sexual intercourse, especially your first time. With all due respect, I think you're getting yourself far too worked up over it. Just let things happen naturally and all will be fine. Just because someone reported that it hurt, doesn't mean it will for you.

Best of luck to you.

Regards,

Ex
Thanks for the insightful comment, Executor. I know I was being really irrational about it, lol. It's just... well, it was a first time for me so I was freaking out. I'm fine now though.

I went to the doctor's appointment today for a completely entirely different matter and I thought I might as well bring the topic up, and she suggested that it was because my hymen's still mostly intact (it is) and that the fingers were perhaps longer than the actual tip. After that conversation, I'm not as stressed anymore so that's OK I suppose, haha.

Thank you.

 
Old 02-10-2010, 06:16 AM   #6
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Re: Partial Penetration = Real Sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulskies View Post
she suggested that it was because my hymen's still mostly intact (it is) and that the fingers were perhaps longer than the actual tip.
I'm not following what the length of his fingers compared to the length of the actual tip would have to do with it?

As for why it may not have hurt, if you've already been inserting 1-2 fingers without pain, it stands to reason that just putting the tip in wouldn't be much different.

 
Old 02-10-2010, 07:28 AM   #7
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Re: Partial Penetration = Real Sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thisby View Post
I'm not following what the length of his fingers compared to the length of the actual tip would have to do with it?

As for why it may not have hurt, if you've already been inserting 1-2 fingers without pain, it stands to reason that just putting the tip in wouldn't be much different.
Essentially what she told me was that his fingers would have been longer, which meant that it would have penetrated more deeper than the actual tip. I would have to agree, and was surprised at why I didn't think of it earlier.

Actually... from my previous posts, the insertion of the fingers actually did hurt more than the actual penetration - before and after. That was my main reason at my initial confusion.

 
Old 02-10-2010, 10:39 AM   #8
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Re: Partial Penetration = Real Sex?

Sorry, my point was that length/depth doesn't have anything to do with it. It's all about the width where the hymen is concerned.

As for the fingers hurting more, I've noticed that too. They tend to be... I don't know, bonier or something. Not a nice soft smooth shape like a penis, and guys can be rougher with their hands than they can be with their penis.

 
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