My wife and I have been married for 7 years and sexually active for 8 years. She has NEVER had an orgasm. She drescribes it as a steady buld feeling better and better until she thinks its going to happen and then she "can't stand it". She says that it doesn't feel bad, but it just feels to intense to keep going. She doesn't masturbate. It doesn't always put a complete end to things, but I would REALLY like to try and figure this out and help her reach orgasm. Thanks in advance.
Is it possible that I am too focused on a specific area and that is the cause for this "to intense feeling". My attention is focused on direct clitoral stimulation which slowly builds from good to better to almost great before it gets to intense. Thanks for your responses.
That's the problem right there. There is no way you are ever going to get her there if she can't do it herself and use her experience to guide you. Expecting you to figure it out all on your own is almost cruel!
I don't know if there's a nice way to tell her to get at it, but I think that should be your first step, before wasting any more time trying to do it yourself. Would she be willing to do it with you?
She has tried to masturbate but she said she was quickly out of the mood when it felt unnatural. She says that because it feels unnatural she has a hard time fantasizing.
Is it possible that I am too focused on a specific area and that is the cause for this "to intense feeling". My attention is focused on direct clitoral stimulation which slowly builds from good to better to almost great before it gets to intense.
It could be. Try changing postitions for a bit, but then it will be longer and harder to climax, but if she gets there then it will be worth it. The 'too intnse feeling' is the start of an orgasm. I never maturbated before I first reached an orgasm, I don't masturbate alone, and only do it during sex with my husbands help, I feel it unnatural (for me) too. It took me a long time to really relax and allow it to happen, not that I don't love my husband but there is so many feelings going on - I think your partner has the same problem. Time, good communication (which you seem to have) and lpts of trying will help. See if, so long as its not painful or she stops enjoying it - maybe build up the amount of time slowly she can just keep going as the feelings increase.
Try to not concentrate only in the clitorial area. Try to stimulate her g-spot and anal area when doing oral. I myself don't like just clitorial orgasems, the orgasems are weaker and the area gets way too sensitive later on. Vaginal and anal orgasems are a different story though.
She has tried to masturbate but she said she was quickly out of the mood when it felt unnatural. She says that because it feels unnatural she has a hard time fantasizing.
Hi. I know that could be very frustrating. Sorry for my spelling, I'm actually Afrikaans.......try doing some reading (browsing) about the g-spot. I know that different woman reacts differently on certain areas of the vigina. You will read that in satisfying a woman...it's all about her, how she feels, how se reacts, what she likes and what she dislikes...she needs to trust you in full and be very comfortable with you when you're down there...if she is satisfied, you'll be satisfied...
Hi there,
Firstly, I'm in the same boat but I've made a little progress which might help your wife. I used to get to that stage where it all feels too sensitive - almost like an unbearable ticklish feeling - but I've found that if I move slightly off centre (to the spot that is causing that overwhelming feeling) that the ticklish bit goes away and it allows me to continue to build to orgasm. Unfortuantely I still have never orgasmed but that break through has helped me loads. So try moving just slightly off the spot but still very much in the same area.
Hope that has helped.
...try doing some reading (browsing) about the g-spot. I know that different woman reacts differently on certain areas of the vigina. You will read that in satisfying a woman...it's all about her, how she feels, how se reacts, what she likes and what she dislikes...she needs to trust you in full and be very comfortable with you when you're down there...if she is satisfied, you'll be satisfied...
