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Old 11-16-2010, 03:35 PM   #1
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I can't orgasm with intercourse alone...

I'm in a new relationship after being single for almost 10 years now. We are about 3 months old and have been having sex for awhile. He and I both enjoy the interaction together since he has a traveling position for employment. We enjoy the time together when we get it.

Lately I am becoming concerned about a lack of orgasm for me. In fact he's never made me orgasm yet. At first I thought it was a medication I was on since it was known for loss of libido and lack of orgasm. I stopped the medication (lexapro) and have gotten my appetite back and I'm able to orgasm thru masturbation just fine sometimes more than 4 times a day on my off days.

I read alot of research suggesting that thru vaginal intercourse women are prone to not orgasm and have to through other means, either oral stimulation or change in positions. I hope i'm not alone on this because I feel like he's leaving me unsatisfied.

A side note, he's multiorgasmic and can have at the most in one night up to 13 orgasms. I've noticed that after the initial one, that the ease for orgasming myself is greater because he tends to hit where I need it. How do I tell him without destroying the ego, he really needs to take a bit longer to help me out. The last time we were together I was almost there, and he came and I was left with disappointment.

S

 
Old 11-16-2010, 07:19 PM   #2
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Re: I can't orgasm with intercourse alone...

i would say just straight up tell him. don't do it in bed, do it in a neutral situation where he won't feel like he's being cornered. if he's a good partner he'll understand, and besides, wouldn't you want him to tell you if you could be giving him more pleasure?
if you still can't come even if he is lasting longer, i would suggest trying something like using a small vibrator on yourself (or putting a **** ring on him) while he's in you. or try having him go down on you until you're almost ready to orgasm and THEN penetrate you. the most important thing is to open communication with him! then you can work on it together.

 
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Old 11-16-2010, 07:29 PM   #3
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Re: I can't orgasm with intercourse alone...

It is frustrating, isn't it? Well, it takes at least twenty minutes to get there for a woman. You could bring it up like a did you know type of thing. Also, if you were to engage in more foreplay that would help. A man that can orgasm up to 13 times in one night probably does not have a problem with ego so I really would not feel bad discussing your sexual needs. Sincerely, searchin

 
Old 11-16-2010, 10:34 PM   #4
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Re: I can't orgasm with intercourse alone...

Sitting on his penis during sex almost always works, as you can position yourself and control the level movement.

Quote:
A man that can orgasm up to 13 times in one night
Now this is something that I would pay to see. Hey, even 4/5 time I'd spend a couple of bucks. Must be one looooonnnngggg night.

 
Old 11-17-2010, 07:36 AM   #5
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Re: I can't orgasm with intercourse alone...

Its quite amazing to feel too.. never thought it was possible and to be honest when we first met and he told me that he is that way I didn't believe him. UNTIL I experienced it. We spent part of the night together a few weeks ago and I counted... 13 for sure and it wasn't a full nights worth, maybe 4-5 hours? I want to see what a full night is. Lately I stopped counting because I figured that the counting, the cats crying outside my closed door were distractions for me and allowing the non orgasm to happen. While I cant fix one of them, I can fix the other.

 
Old 11-17-2010, 08:15 AM   #6
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Re: I can't orgasm with intercourse alone...

Your boyfriend is one lucky guy!!! I wish I could have multiple orgasms

At any rate, my wife has difficulty reaching orgasm thru intercourse alone. What I/we do instead is focus on her reaching orgasm thru clitoral stimulation (oral, manual and vibrator). I try to get her to reach 2 or 3 orgasm this way then we proceed with intercourse. Her response is much better and she's much more likely to reach another orgasm that way. Unfortunately, while I'm focusing her in clitoris, she's focusing on my penis (manual and/or oral) so when we finally move to intercourse, I find myself in a predicament of being "five pump chump". On some occassions however, I'm able to last up to 20 minutes.

So my advice (from a male perspective) is to have focus more on foreplay. Also, try adding a small vibrator into the mix and placing it on your clitoris during intercourse.

 
Old 11-24-2010, 06:22 AM   #7
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Re: I can't orgasm with intercourse alone...

You aren't alone. I've read up that many women have a difficult time reaching orgasm. I am one of them. I thought I have a medical issue too. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and I can count how many times I've had an orgasm..so I haven't had many. I agree with Jumper that you have engage in more foreplay and oral stimulation. Sometimes wanting to orgasm so bad, doesn't make it happen. So just concentrating on feeling good might do the trick. I read an article on it somewhere. Something about sometimes we want it so bad that we end up not having one.

 
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