| | Hymen issue
I am a 19 year old female. I have never used a tampon. I first tried to have sex when I was 15. It didn't work out very well- it felt as though there was a "wall" and it just wouldn't happen. When I was 16 I tried with someone new that had an extremely smaller penis. It hurt the first time but over the course of two years we had sex regularly. It never really hurt until he would thrust really hard. For the past 6 months I've been dating a new person who is just as big as the first guy I tried with. We have tried many times to have sex, but every time it feels like something is "in the way." I recently went to a doctor and when she performed a pap smear she had to use the smallest speculum available. When she tried to open my cervix, it didn't open so she had to leave and find a smaller speculum. She did in fact get the specimens that she needed but she told me that my hymen is still intact. I think she said it's torn a little bit but not completely. This is obviously why I am unable to have sex- but why does it hurt so bad whenever I try? Its been almost four years since I tried to first have sex, I think that I should be ready by now.
Anyway, when I got home, I used a mirror to look at myself (which I've never really done in the past.) I found that there is a very light pink flap of skin blocking the vaginal entrance. It's kind of hard to explain- it looks very rigid (like a flower with many petals) and it's VERY thick. I'm not sure how thin a hymen is supposed to be, but when I looked it up on Google, they looked very different than what I saw on myself. The doctor suggested I try stretching it out with my fingers or a tampon. I'm guessing since she didn't freak out or anything- that my hymen is "normal." But I still cannot find anyone or anything that has the same problem as me. I tried to insert my finger with lube on it, and it felt very uncomfortable. I literally cannot even see the hole because there is so much thick tissue around it. Someone please help! Thank you!