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Old 08-21-2011, 04:43 PM   #1
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Elliott27 HB User
Orgasm & Anti-anxiety medication

Hello all,

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now and our sex has always been AMAZING. We are 31 years old. However, in the past year and a half she has experienced significant family hardships, so 2-3 months ago she decided to go on an anti-anxiety medication to help relieve her of this stress/anxiety. She also has had always trouble sleeping (very light sleeper), and the anti-anxiety medicine is supposed to help shut her head off so she can sleep. So she started taking it (Zoloft), and we both noticed her anxiety levels decreasing! So great news, however, ever since she started taking this medicine she isn't able to have an orgasm. It's on a very rare occasion that she does and that's after a very long time of stimulating her. Not only is it very difficult to orgasm but her sensitivity is way different. All the "tricks" I used to do no longer feel like they used to for her. She is very much pleasured by everything, it's just the orgasm piece of it that is off. We both find this a bit frustrating, so she went back to the doctors to see if she could try a different medication. The doctor weaned her off of the 50mg Zoloft and put her on 20mg of celexa (she takes the generic brands of these). It is in the same class of drugs, but I guess for some reason the doctor thought it could have a different effect? Well, it didn't. She still has a difficult time climaxing. The doctor told her, if celexa still prevented her from having an orgasm, that she could try something else...something in a different class. Not sure what that would be, but now I am torn. The anti-anxiety medicine is helping for her anxiety but it is making our sex life, a little difficult/frustrating. We actually sometimes start fighting/arguing after sex because of this...this is the last thing either of us what after sex! It is making us want to avoid the whole act altogether. I want to make her feel good, but I also want her anxiety levels controlled. Also, I just want to note the arguments are from her frustration not from me being an ******* (I want to note this so you know I'm not some ******* that yells at his girlfriend for not climaxing), it is mainly her frustrations breaking through. Although I have to admit, that it makes me feel bad sometimes that I'm not pleasing her like I used to.

Has anyone else experienced this? Can you give any advice on what to do? What medication would prevent this issue from happening? Or something we can do to adjust to this, so she is able to achieve orgasm like she used to?

**She used to take the anti-anxiety medicine in the morning, but switched to taking it at night because it made her tired during the day. We usually have sex at night. Does it matter the time of the day she takes it?

Any help is welcomed and please only mature responses.

Thank you.

Elliott

 
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Old 08-22-2011, 12:48 AM   #2
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cmpgirl HB User
Re: Orgasm & Anti-anxiety medication

Hi Elliott:

Drugs like Zoloft and Celexa are usually one or the other of the class of meds called SSRI's or MAOI's. (anxiety/depression meds) There's a different class of anxiety meds called benzodiazapines. (Valium, Xanax, etc.) Unlike the classes I mentioned above, these don't treat depression, so they don't have the ingredients in them that generally cause the sexual side effects.

If your GF's doc feels that her issues are mostly anxiety driven, then this class of meds may be just the ticket. Benzodiazapines are also a "PRN" or as needed medication and don't need to be taken daily. (People who are dealing with very severe anxiety/panic disorders do take them every day, so that's something that your girlfriend and her doc would need to discuss.)

The caveat with benzodiazapines is that because of their calming effect, they tend to have a reputation as being highly abusable, which in turn keeps some of the more wary types of docs from feeling comfortable prescribing them. Personally, I take them for anxiety and I've never quite understood the desire to take them unless I absolutely need to... I'm obviously just one case and everyone is different, but they work very well for me and I've had no sexual side effects from them. If anything, they relax me and make the overall experience even more enjoyable.

If this is the "other" class of meds that her doc is referring to, I'd say it's worth it to give them a try. Best of luck to both of you. I hope this helped a bit. Let us know how it all turns out.

 
Old 08-22-2011, 09:06 AM   #3
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Re: Orgasm & Anti-anxiety medication

I take Zoloft and yes, it's pretty darn hard to orgasm. Everything still feels good but I just can't get over the hump without some real work! As for when to take the med, it makes no difference at all. It's the kind of medicine that builds up in the system, so if you take it everyday, it's never really out of your system. That takes a week or two.

Hang in there!

 
Old 08-24-2011, 01:04 PM   #4
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Re: Orgasm & Anti-anxiety medication

I Spent a year and a half looking for an anxiety/depression med that didn't affect my ability to orgasm, make me angry or leave me more depressed. My dr added welbutrin to my citalopram and the celexa...it made me weepy so I stopped and tried other meds finally I tried welbutrin alone but gave it a good month to get the side effects under control. Now I take welbutrin and clonazepam (this is temporary then I will go back on zoloft in sept)

These combinations work well for me no orgasm issues. Welbutrin 300mg and clonazepam .5mg 2x a day (the zoloft was 50mg but I will be working up to 100 once I start it again)

 
Old 08-24-2011, 03:45 PM   #5
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Re: Orgasm & Anti-anxiety medication

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elliott27 View Post
Although I have to admit, that it makes me feel bad sometimes that I'm not pleasing her like I used to.
I don't have a lot to add to what the others have said except to address your quote above. Just want you to realize that it's not anything you're doing wrong, you understand that, right? It's all because of the meds, not because of you. Don't feel like you're doing anything wrong because you said you're doing the same stuff you always did that always worked in the past, the only difference now is the meds. So you see, it's not you, it's the meds.

If you can find a way to make yourself understand that, maybe you won't feel so bad yourself thinking it's something you can control. She will find something that will work, I'm sure. But in the meantime, try not to take it personally and don't make it about you. Hopefully that will help you not get so mad at yourself or make you think that you're the problem (cause you're not).

 
Old 10-15-2011, 07:52 AM   #6
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Re: Orgasm & Anti-anxiety medication

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmpgirl View Post
Hi Elliott:

Drugs like Zoloft and Celexa are usually one or the other of the class of meds called SSRI's or MAOI's. (anxiety/depression meds) There's a different class of anxiety meds called benzodiazapines. (Valium, Xanax, etc.) Unlike the classes I mentioned above, these don't treat depression, so they don't have the ingredients in them that generally cause the sexual side effects.

If your GF's doc feels that her issues are mostly anxiety driven, then this class of meds may be just the ticket. Benzodiazapines are also a "PRN" or as needed medication and don't need to be taken daily. (People who are dealing with very severe anxiety/panic disorders do take them every day, so that's something that your girlfriend and her doc would need to discuss.)

The caveat with benzodiazapines is that because of their calming effect, they tend to have a reputation as being highly abusable, which in turn keeps some of the more wary types of docs from feeling comfortable prescribing them. Personally, I take them for anxiety and I've never quite understood the desire to take them unless I absolutely need to... I'm obviously just one case and everyone is different, but they work very well for me and I've had no sexual side effects from them. If anything, they relax me and make the overall experience even more enjoyable.

If this is the "other" class of meds that her doc is referring to, I'd say it's worth it to give them a try. Best of luck to both of you. I hope this helped a bit. Let us know how it all turns out.
Does Effexor have any part in the lack of sexual appeal?

 
Old 03-24-2012, 02:12 AM   #7
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Re: Orgasm & Anti-anxiety medication

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kszan View Post
I don't have a lot to add to what the others have said except to address your quote above. Just want you to realize that it's not anything you're doing wrong, you understand that, right? It's all because of the meds, not because of you. Don't feel like you're doing anything wrong because you said you're doing the same stuff you always did that always worked in the past, the only difference now is the meds. So you see, it's not you, it's the meds.

If you can find a way to make yourself understand that, maybe you won't feel so bad yourself thinking it's something you can control. She will find something that will work, I'm sure. But in the meantime, try not to take it personally and don't make it about you. Hopefully that will help you not get so mad at yourself or make you think that you're the problem (cause you're not).
As someone who's been on both sides of the spectrum, I know it's hard for a person who was once able to make their partner orgasm with ease to have difficulty doing it now - it's also difficult being the partner who is on medication, having sexual issues, ect and knowing that their partner is trying their damndest to make things work, that things should, -in theory- be working, and yet it's not.... medications are a *****, and I would encourage you to both keep seeking the medicine that can keep her happy and healthy, as well as enabling her to share in a fulfilling sex life with you, and to continue trying new things, new positions, perhaps new toys. I know that, personally, it was difficult for me to reach orgasm unless the stars were properly aligned, the moon was full, the right song was on, the right lube was used, the whole nine yards... but while I was there, in the bedroom with my man, I felt whole, loved, desired, and complete. It might just take a bit of thinking outside the box to get over that hump.

 
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