| | need help,advice,comfort with situation
I am a female in my 20's- i have been in a relationship for almost 2 years with the perfect guy. About 8 months back I went to the gyno for my checkup (it was my first time there in about 3 years) so I had my routine pap and my doctor informed me that I had Trichomoniasis. I was shocked, upset, scared, embarrassed... I kinda knew something was up though because I was noticing the extra discharge I was having. Prior to this relationship I was in one for 8 years with my ex who admitted to cheating. I didn't wanna point the finger at the new BF He's a great guy... bottom line was one of us came into the relationship with this. So I was prescribed Metronodizale and told my boyfriend and he took it well and also got the meds. It seemed to go away and I got the call from my doctor that I had abnormal cells and needed to come in for a colposcopy. When I went back to the doctor for the colp they told me that I still had Trich and needed to have another dose of meds. So me and the boyfriend did another dose. My docotr also informed me that I had HPV. So I have been dealing with a lot of stress over all of this. I went in last week for the colposcopy (didnt tell my boyfriend) and the doctor who performed it(another doctor in my doctors building since my doctor was all booked & impossible to get an appt with) told me that I would probably need to get the LEEP procedure done and gave me a panthlet on it. After reading the panthlet I freaked out I got really upset and depressed and the colposcopy scared me. I've been on and off crying every other day laying in bed depressed. It's all I really think about. Going through all of this has really affected my interest in sex with my boyfriend I also have moments where I get angry at him. He really has no idea what I'm going through.
After the colposcopy I was having the coffee grind discharge and it smelled also. So I waited... coffee grinds are gone but I'm back to having discharge come on at random. The smell seems to be getting better but I'm very scared that I may still have trich. My follow up apt with my doctor is Nov 16th. (my actual doctor this time) ... I have been doing research and everything i read makes me upset. I really want children within the next few years and I'm petrafied of being told I cant. I know that my boyfriend also wants children in the future. All of my friends are pregnant right now including my best friend and I'm really happy for all of them but I feel unable to be happy for them and afraid that that will never be me. My doctor told me that what I have will not affect my chances of getting pregnant. However I'm reading different.
I'm scared, I'm depressed --- I'm going to need to talk to my boyfriend about it soon because we are moving in together in a month and if I infact need this LEEP procedure healing time is I believe 3 weeks? I just feel like he should know whats going on with me and make his own decision if he wants to move in with me still. I'm afraid that I smell that I'm gross down there and may start skeeving him out. I don't wanna be that gross diseased girl you know? this whole thing has me absolutely devastated. I know it could always be worse but I'm having such a hard time with confidence right now.
I needed to rant to someone who cant judge me ... thanks to anyone who reads & responds to this in anyway