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-   -   Inappropriate or good bedside manner? (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/sexual-health-women/879516-inappropriate-good-bedside-manner.html)

mustang lou11 11-26-2011 08:07 PM

Inappropriate or good bedside manner?
 
I have had a very strange experience with my gynecologist this past year, and I need some good advice on if this behavior was strictly good bedside manner or if it was unprofessional? The first time I saw this male gyn was in 06. He took time to answer all of my questions and was very friendly. One day as I was leaving the office and walking down the hall he came up behind me and rubbed both of my shoulders. I asked him to stop because it made me uncomfortable. I stopped seeing the doctor for several years. Last year I found out that I was pregnant after five years of trying to conceive. I went in for a ultrasound in the beginning of November 2010. At first the DR did not see the baby's heartbeat, so he said it could be a possible etopic pregnancy, which scared me. The doctor told me to continue seeing him weekly to make sure the pregnancy was safe. As I continued to see the DR he started to get weird. One day he was doing an ultrasound and my eight yr old daughter told him that the tooth fairy came to her house. He then rubbed my upper thigh and made the comment, " The tooth fairy is as beautiful as your mommy." Then I started noticing that he needed to touch me more. My youngest sister came to the DR with me often, and she asked why my DR flirted. Closer to the end of my pregnancy the Dr started seeming to be irritated with me because I could not feel the baby move. With my health problems I was terrified that the baby would die. He began to see me twice weekly while doing ultrasounds to make sure the baby was fine. After the delivery is when I started to feel that everything got very strange between the DR and I. I came back a week after the delivery for a check up and I had lost 20lbs. I told him that and he grabbed my calf and squeezed it while I was sitting on the exam table and said, " Ya you look really good" at that visit I was alone. The next visit was in three weeks. He walked into the room and looked me up and down while my sister was present and said " wow you changed you hair you look so good", then we went on to talking about birth control options. He recommended that I took a pill form and added the strangest comment of all " with you looking so good and your hair being so nice we would not want all those guys hanging around you so we need to get u on birth control" I did not know how to take the comment I was shocked me would say something like that with knowing I was married. One of my younger sister found out she was expecting and saw him also. The very next day after the comment was made. I was walking down the hall into the ultrasound room and he jumped out of a consult room and massaged my shoulders and asked if I was there to see him? I said no and remember a few yrs ago I asked him not to rub my shoulders, but I thought he must have forgotten. During my sister's pelvic exam he was looking at me and kept referring the discussion back to me. A few weeks went by and I had invited him during the pregnancy to be involved in the baby's blessing when she was born. He was extremely excited and came to the blessing. After all of that we found out that I needed surgery on my left ovary to remove a cyst. We had an argument about the type of surgery to be performed. In the end I went with his option. Two days later I needed a second surgery because I was hemorrhaging, and he did the second surgery. The next day after the 2nd surgery was my birthday he came into my room without a nurse and said" oh its your bday happy birthday, merry Christmas, happy new yr. I bought you some candy, but then ate it cuz I remembered you were diabetic". He helped me out of bed to use the restroom and called me his"sweety". I saw him again in two weeks where he was doing a vaginal exam and decided to rub the top of my crotch while talking to the nurse, then went on with the exam appropriately. Then I went with my sister to an appointment during which I needed to vomit and when I returned from the restroom he asked, " Do I made u sick? Do I make u vomit?" After that appointment things seemed to be changing in his behavior, not being very touchy. The last three of our visits he brought a nurse in the room during the entire time, which was new for him because he normal only brought them in there for vaginal exams. He did not take a nurse in the room for consults with my sister. I was worried that i did something wrong so i asked him what was changing and why he was so different all of a sudden? He said that the nurse was there for our protection and he was just wanting me to get the best care, so he decided to transfer my care away to a cancer gyn an hr away, which was unnecessary and only wanted to transfer me because I asked what was going on . Well the cancer gyn called me and said that I have no reason to be transferred and that the DR referred me because of inappropriate behavior for asking the questions.

Whoopee 11-27-2011 02:41 PM

Re: Inappropriate or good bedside manner?
 
I see there haven't been any replies but I just read your entire post and I know I'm a male and all but, WOW! That guy is totally out of line and the only reason he wanted you transferred is, I believe he started worrying that you may bring up charges against him or say something to someone in charge. You did nothing wrong and he was way out of line with you. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I'd honestly worry about your sister. If you were my sister or wife, I'd ask you to transfer your care to another doctor outside of his office. Nobody needs that kind of turmoil, especially when you're pregnant! Good Luck!

Daisy65 11-27-2011 03:04 PM

Re: Inappropriate or good bedside manner?
 
[QUOTE=mustang lou11;4885524]I have had a very strange experience with my gynecologist this past year, and I need some good advice on if this behavior was strictly good bedside manner or if it was unprofessional? The first time I saw this male gyn was in 06. He took time to answer all of my questions and was very friendly. One day as I was leaving the office and walking down the hall he came up behind me and rubbed both of my shoulders. I asked him to stop because it made me uncomfortable. I stopped seeing the doctor for several years. Last year I found out that I was pregnant after five years of trying to conceive. I went in for a ultrasound in the beginning of November 2010. At first the DR did not see the baby's heartbeat, so he said it could be a possible etopic pregnancy, which scared me. The doctor told me to continue seeing him weekly to make sure the pregnancy was safe. As I continued to see the DR he started to get weird. One day he was doing an ultrasound and my eight yr old daughter told him that the tooth fairy came to her house. He then rubbed my upper thigh and made the comment, " The tooth fairy is as beautiful as your mommy." Then I started noticing that he needed to touch me more. My youngest sister came to the DR with me often, and she asked why my DR flirted. Closer to the end of my pregnancy the Dr started seeming to be irritated with me because I could not feel the baby move. With my health problems I was terrified that the baby would die. He began to see me twice weekly while doing ultrasounds to make sure the baby was fine. After the delivery is when I started to feel that everything got very strange between the DR and I. I came back a week after the delivery for a check up and I had lost 20lbs. I told him that and he grabbed my calf and squeezed it while I was sitting on the exam table and said, " Ya you look really good" at that visit I was alone. The next visit was in three weeks. He walked into the room and looked me up and down while my sister was present and said " wow you changed you hair you look so good", then we went on to talking about birth control options. He recommended that I took a pill form and added the strangest comment of all " with you looking so good and your hair being so nice we would not want all those guys hanging around you so we need to get u on birth control" I did not know how to take the comment I was shocked me would say something like that with knowing I was married. One of my younger sister found out she was expecting and saw him also. The very next day after the comment was made. I was walking down the hall into the ultrasound room and he jumped out of a consult room and massaged my shoulders and asked if I was there to see him? I said no and remember a few yrs ago I asked him not to rub my shoulders, but I thought he must have forgotten. During my sister's pelvic exam he was looking at me and kept referring the discussion back to me. A few weeks went by and I had invited him during the pregnancy to be involved in the baby's blessing when she was born. He was extremely excited and came to the blessing. After all of that we found out that I needed surgery on my left ovary to remove a cyst. We had an argument about the type of surgery to be performed. In the end I went with his option. Two days later I needed a second surgery because I was hemorrhaging, and he did the second surgery. The next day after the 2nd surgery was my birthday he came into my room without a nurse and said" oh its your bday happy birthday, merry Christmas, happy new yr. I bought you some candy, but then ate it cuz I remembered you were diabetic". He helped me out of bed to use the restroom and called me his"sweety". I saw him again in two weeks where he was doing a vaginal exam and decided to rub the top of my crotch while talking to the nurse, then went on with the exam appropriately. Then I went with my sister to an appointment during which I needed to vomit and when I returned from the restroom he asked, " Do I made u sick? Do I make u vomit?" After that appointment things seemed to be changing in his behavior, not being very touchy. The last three of our visits he brought a nurse in the room during the entire time, which was new for him because he normal only brought them in there for vaginal exams. He did not take a nurse in the room for consults with my sister. I was worried that i did something wrong so i asked him what was changing and why he was so different all of a sudden? He said that the nurse was there for our protection and he was just wanting me to get the best care, so he decided to transfer my care away to a cancer gyn an hr away, which was unnecessary and only wanted to transfer me because I asked what was going on . Well the cancer gyn called me and said that I have no reason to be transferred and that the DR referred me because of inappropriate behavior for asking the questions.[/QUOTE]

If I were you I would report him to the medical board, he was out of line. There is something very wrong with this doctor.

Good luck!
hugs
Daisy

mustang lou11 11-27-2011 06:04 PM

Re: Inappropriate or good bedside manner?
 
Thanks for the comment:) He also transferred my sisters care to the same hospital because she is having problems with her pregnancy. I am really hurt that this creep made me look like the inappropriate person in the situation. What really sucks now is that we both work for the same hospital, and I am the new hire. I hope he does not cause problems for me over there and cost me my job and/or reputation. I really want to complain but I am afraid that he will have me fired or that the licensing board will do nothing about the situation, since I did continue care after several months of him being inappropriate and I did not tell him to stop except for that one time five yrs ago. I am just curious why you would think he would send me away because of fearing I would turn him in? I guess I just do not understand. Wouldn't make a person want to turn him in more if he was sending them away and accuse them of being inappropriate? Thanks for your input. I really got myself into a bad situation.

Misty800 11-28-2011 01:57 PM

Re: Inappropriate or good bedside manner?
 
I look at this situation two ways.

First of all the doctor was out of line .

Secondly you should have changed doctors way back in the beginning when you suspected a problem.

Why would you keep going back to him?

You should always have a nurse present when being examined.


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