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Old 12-23-2011, 12:11 PM   #1
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Unhappy Scared of pain during sex! Please help!

Hi all,

I am 22 years old and I am constantly scared of having sex with my partner - so much so that I do not let him enter! Even if I am aroused enough, I get all tensed and tighten up. I keep feeling he is not entering correctly and may end up hurting my genital parts.

I reeeally want to get over this fear soon, but every time we have sex, I end up getting scared. I use a pillow under my bottom and try to open up as much as possible to let him enter, but when he tries to, i tighten up! I am so scared that it will hurt!!

Does it really hurt so much?? He did try entering once or twice and it did not hurt as much as i expected after he had entered fully. But it did hurt a little when he was entering..is this normal? Why don't I enjoy sex like other women? Why am i so scared??

Regards,
Fiona

 
Old 12-23-2011, 12:18 PM   #2
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Re: Scared of pain during sex! Please help!

Fiona, your fear is normal. Please be certain that you actually WANT to be sexual right now, that's all I'm saying. It might be possible that your body is "saying no" when it's actually your mind that is just not ready yet....and there is CERTAINLY nothing wrong with that.
That said, my first time hardly hurt at all. It felt "weird" but I can't say that it actually
felt painful.

 
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Old 12-23-2011, 12:23 PM   #3
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Re: Scared of pain during sex! Please help!

Hi Slenderella,

Thanks for the reply...I really want to have sex. I am all aroused when we start. But at the time of insertion I simply clamp up. It's a mental block i think, but i just need assurance that it will not hurt as much as they say it does! I just want to get over with it!! I decide that I will be brave this time, but i clamp up when the time comes!

 
Old 12-23-2011, 12:26 PM   #4
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Re: Scared of pain during sex! Please help!

It may help if, for the first time, you also try a lubricant. And be sure your boyfriend knows that you want him to be very gentle. Good communication is important.

 
Old 12-23-2011, 11:32 PM   #5
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Re: Scared of pain during sex! Please help!

Hi Fiona, it's normal to feel pain for the first time sexual intercourse. When a female has sexual intercourse for the first time the opening of her vagina which is called a hymen breaks. The hymen is a mucous membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. There are minor nerve in the hymen so when it breaks it may hurt. A female may bleed by sexual intercourse for the first time which is normal. She may experience discomfort and feel alittle bit uncomfortable. The hurting might be cause by your nerves and when you are nervous and get all tensed and tighten up like you said your vagina does the samething. The vagina closes up that's make's it difficult for the male penis to enter the vagina. So before he enters you try to be calm and relax your body and your pc muscles. Make sure you are ready and wet enough for his penis to enter into your vagina. Plus when a female is aroused sufficiently her vagina actually loosens and her cervix pulls up to allow for comfortable penetration. Do alot foreplay with your partner and take your time. Don't rush. You can try lubricant and I agree with slenderella good communication is important.

 
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Old 12-27-2011, 11:29 PM   #6
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Re: Scared of pain during sex! Please help!

You can't be ready. I know that feeling that you're scared. When I am not aroused, and my boyfriend jokes around and tries to stick just one finger up there, I freak the heck out and get up really fast and run lol You need to try when your mind is truly ready. It's weird how that stuff works, one second you want it then you think you do, then you're like NOPE! and it just doesn't work.

Unfortunately , I have a problem with my uterus, tampons hurt me and I can't use them, sex hurts me a lot but there's nothing I or doctors can do. Most of the time if I am realllly horny I don't feel pain

 
Old 12-29-2011, 12:28 PM   #7
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Re: Scared of pain during sex! Please help!

Hi I am also in the same condition exactly and i am 31 yrs old and afraid of pain, how to really do sex first time and come over that with the proper joy? Please some one advise

thanks
pinegreen

 
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