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Old 12-28-2011, 05:22 PM   #1
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Sex Drive (lack of)

I don't really know where to start (since I'm new here) but I guess some background information would be good. I'm 22, and I've been on birth control for 8 years for heavy and painful periods (Yasmin for 7ish) and on Paxil for 9 years (for anxiety). My 1st relationship was a little over 3 years (during highschool) and sexually it was all about him. It was about getting him off and him enjoying it which I thought was normal because he was my 1st (it wasn't and abusive relationship, he just never made the effort to sexually please me). Also, I never really learned how to make myself orgasm. I never had a desire (even with him) to have one, or to masturbate myself (I didn't grow up in a religious home, I just never had the desire).

So in my current relationship, my boyfriend is all about trying to pleasure me and he feels bad when he goes off and I don't (because he thinks he's using me, but he's not, and I tell him that). He also gets frustrated because he doesn't really know how I want to be touched (neither do I). I've looked on websites (not porn ones, but educational ones about anatomy, etc.) that actually explain some techniques on how to stimulate the clitoris. The thing is, when I try them on myself, I get weirded out and stop. I don't know if it's because I'm trying to force myself to or I'm not in the mood. Although for some reason, when he touches me (when we're in the bedroom) I love it.

At this point, I don't get in the mood very often, and to be honest, I don't really know what my sex drive is like since I've been on birth control and Paxil for so long. Currently, I'm almost done with my Paxil (I only have a month left) and I've heard it takes a month or so for it to fully get out. So I'm hoping after that, that my sex drive will increase.

My questions are: 1) Is it weird for me to be weirded out, or not turned on when I touch myself (by myself or in front of him)? 2) Besides getting off Paxil (and maybe even the birth control if getting off Paxil doesn't help) is there anything else I can do to increase my sex drive?

I'm sorry this is such a long post, and I really appreciate those who comment/help.

 
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:02 PM   #2
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Re: Sex Drive (lack of)

To your first question, I never touch my self or pleasure myself, it's weird to me I feel like a child and scared haha. And I do get weirded out when my boyfriend suggests playing with myself when we fool around, it actually turns me off when he says that stuff.
Are you truly attracted to him?

Maybe try a different birth control? I'm on Loestrin 24 and my sex drive is crazy high, has been since I got on it years ago, and I'm ALWAYS wet lol sorry if it's too much info, but I guess it's a good thing because it's common to get very dry down there, but this pill works great for me. Maybe try a different birth control pill?

Last edited by caisaco; 12-28-2011 at 11:04 PM.

 
Old 12-29-2011, 01:17 PM   #3
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Re: Sex Drive (lack of)

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels like that. I feel the exact same way when it comes to him suggesting I do that (although he has only done that once or twice).

I feel that I'm truly attracted to him. I love the way he makes me feel (in every aspect). He truly cares about making me happy (in every way) and making me feel beautiful. He does turn me on, it's just that compared to him, I feel I have a way lower sex drive. I find that he gets turned on really easy, and that for me I need to build up to it. If that makes any sense.

If the paxil doesn't help with my sex drive, switching to another birth control (just getting off of mine) will be my next step.

 
Old 12-29-2011, 01:24 PM   #4
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Re: Sex Drive (lack of)

Dang that middle paragraph about how your bf is is EXACTLY my situation too! Well, was kinda. Mine cares so much and always has to make sure I'm pleased and happy. Three years ago when we first started dating I was only in high school and he was always horny and I never wanted to, it would take so much to turn me on. Then we broke up like a year ago and got back together a couple months ago and all we do is have sex and all I want to do. I guess I didn't realize what I had until it was gone and now I'm realizing I have something amazing.
Yeah like yours, mine is ALWAYS horny, all the time, for years now with me and it hasn't worn off. He's not like a creepy horny where he always tries to do it with me, but he tries doing other things instead non sexual. I just hate when we cuddle we can never just cuddle because he gets too horny lol

Yeah I'd try a different birth contrl soon!

 
Old 12-29-2011, 02:13 PM   #5
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Thankfully, my bf is really patient and really loving. So even though we're in a bit of a rough patch, I know he's going to stick around. Which is good considering it takes a while for getting off of Paxil and other birth control to take into effect.

Thanks so much for replying, making me feel better, and helping me out.

Also, can I just tell a doctor that I want to switch birth control pills because I that the one I'm on now has decreased my sex drive? Because the one I'm on now isn't giving me any bad side effects. I'm just hoping being on a different pill (whether it's Loestrin 24, or something else) will help my sex drive.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 12-29-2011 at 09:23 PM. Reason: Posts merged.

 
Old 12-29-2011, 03:29 PM   #6
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Re: Sex Drive (lack of)

yes I'm sure he's great Yeah they'll change it for sure. I'm on loestrin 24 and it's the best I've tried. The pills with the word "lo" in it doesn't make you gain any weight, actually made me loose ten lbs, I am a bit too skinny now but my boobs grew like crazy lol
Just try different kinds and wait about 6 months to see if they're right for you

 
Old 12-29-2011, 03:45 PM   #7
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Re: Sex Drive (lack of)

That sounds good. Thanks again!

 
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