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Sexual Health - Women Message Board
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Old 12-29-2011, 02:07 AM   #1
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kaleidoscope93 HB User
Unhappy I think TOO much during sex.

Hello everyone. I'll try to keep this short. Well, my problem is mostly that during sex I'm too self conscious. I have a very high sex drive and I constantly fantasize about sex but when I'm actually doing it, I keep thinking of how I must look like right now.. if I look okay or not, if I'm doing anything wrong. I overthink everything I do and it's driving me crazy cause I know if I was more into it, it would be a thousand times more pleasurable. Any tips on stopping that? Should I talk to my partner about that? How do I turn off my brain?

 
Old 12-29-2011, 03:27 PM   #2
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caisaco HB User
Re: I think TOO much during sex.

Try doing it in the dark? Where he can't see you? I get really turned off when me and my love have sex and it's in the day time, I tell him to shut the blinds but it still is too light. I think too sometimes I'll watch the tv when we do it when before, I'm REALLY horny..
I think it might have to do with it not being dark enough?

 
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Old 12-30-2011, 05:49 AM   #3
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greektaliangal HB User
Re: I think TOO much during sex.

There's no easy answer to this. All I can tell you is that he's already having sex with you, and he thinks you're hot. Men are far less critical of our bodies than we ourselves are, especially when they want to have sex with us. And if they want to, then we can't look that bad!

In all seriousness, sex is messy, looks funny, and sometimes smells a bit off, but it's fun! That's what makes it fun! It's not as perfect and beautiful as in the movies, but it's a lot more fun!

 
Old 12-30-2011, 01:41 PM   #4
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Whoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB UserWhoopee HB User
Re: I think TOO much during sex.

I thought I'd chime in with a male's perspective. When my wife and I were young, she was a lot like the OP and honestly, over 20+ years she never totally opened up to where she was absolutely totally comfortable with her body or with the whole act. I mean we did it a pretty normal amount until the end neared.

Do you drink? Maybe with a few drinks in you, you might be able to cut loose a bit. Not sure if that's a possibility or not. I know it's not the best solution out there but... Another poster was absolutely correct when she said that men do not see the flaws women do of themselves. We love every hair, mole, smell and yes, flaws you have to offer!! We love the female form in every sense and when we are able to make love with you, there's nothing more satisfying in the world. Please embrace all you have to offer! I assure you your man see's you as the most perfect and beautiful creature God every placed on this earth. He worships you and wants you to be happy. Please know all of this and try to accept your sexuality and enjoy the time the two of you spend together. This life on earth is short and one of you could be taken from the other in a flash (I certainly hope not, but life is full of mysteries). I truly hope the two of you could make love like it might be the last time you ever see each other, or the first if that helps. Remember, you are Perfect in God's eyes! I wish all the Best for you and pray you can come to terms with all you have to offer to your mate!

PS - I use the word God often although I'm not overly religious but please substitute whatever "God" you choose to worship when reading my post. Thanks!

 
Old 12-31-2011, 10:41 AM   #5
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Bob in Texas HB User
Re: I think TOO much during sex.

Very well said. I agree totally. I wish our wives would understand the fact that we love them with all of their body imperfectsions. Its what makes them unique. We men want sex with our loved one, not some narcisstic person hung ab up about their bodyimage. I also believe many women use that as an excuse to avoid intimacy.

 
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