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Old 03-26-2012, 10:16 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Westbrook, ME, USA
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Snowennal HB User
Arrow Why do I hate sex?

So, I'm a little confused, but I'm afraid to ask people that know me advice on this... I have a hard time with orgasms, which doesn't seem uncommon on this forum. The problem is, whenever my boyfriend tries any kind of foreplay, it hurts... no matter how gentle he is... this lead to yet another problem. Without foreplay, I can't get wet, and then sex just hurts. Lube would fix the problem with not being able to get wet, but it all seems like a lot of effort... Sex has literally become a chore that I don't feel like doing. Because even if I can have sex with him in a way that doesn't hurt, I still get no pleasure... well besides satisfying him... which is more of a "I need to think of something positive" reward. So I hate having sex, and I also hate giving him oral (sorry in advance for being too descriptive) because his penis is too big and it hurts my jaw.

I don't know if something's wrong with me or what... the only thing that seems to not hurt are vibrators, which, I no longer have one as it got lost with all of my recent switch of households... And... making myself orgasm alone may feel good, but it's not going to help with the fact that I can't comfortably have sex with my boyfriend... I can tell he's getting stressed that I never want to do anything, not because he just wants sex (he's proven to me it's not about that), but because he can't do it with me... I don't think he realizes that it bothers me just as much, if not more than it bothers him... I just don't know how to make him understand what I'm going through... He brings up sex less often now, but I think it's my fault because I complain too much about sex. And I don't want him to think it's anything he's doing wrong because he's not... we've tried different positions and there's only a couple that don't hurt... But what if he gets bored of sex because of me. He wouldn't leave me over that, but he wouldn't exactly be happy either. I don't want him to have to settle with not being able to try new things if he wants because there's only two or so positions that don't hurt. I feel broken. I don't know what to do.

It's stressing me out to a point where I cry about it if I think too much about it, (not that he knows that part, I don't cry around him if I can help it - I don't want to ruin my image of not letting anything get to me) I just want to enjoy having sex with him.

 
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Old 07-10-2012, 09:54 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Williamsburg
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Lois83 HB User
Re: Why do I hate sex?

I understand. I hate sex too. My husband is paralyzed from the rib cage down. We have been together for 6 years & never had sex before or after his accident. We were waiting to be married first. The accident put that off for years & now we are married. I love him more than anything & can't imagine being without him, but I hate to have sex. He is my 1st & only so I have no way to compare weather or not it's me or just with him. We can have sex in one position & that is it. It does seem like a chore. He isn't very big, but it hurts to do it, every time. My husband is disappointed that I don't like sex more. I give in & try 1-2 times a month. We've not even made it to our 1st anniversary. It just puts a HUGE stain on us & now we just found out that we don't have much of a chance to have a baby. What do you do when you can't live without your best friend, can't enjoy intimacy, & can't make a family?

 
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orgasm difficulty, pain, sex



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