I'm a single girl, 25, and up until about 6 months ago I had a really healthy (perhaps bordering on over-active) sex drive. Regardless of my relationship status (single, in a dry spell, in a new relationship, fizzling out in an old one) I've pretty much always wanted sex, pretty much all the time.
For a little over 6 months I've been stuck in the worst dry spell so far. I've encountered the worst jerks, had the most ridiculous mis-treatment and strange circumstances happen when trying to date, and generally had an extreme scarcity of guys I've been attracted to at all anyways (even in passing, I've gone out several times in a row not thinking any guy was cute or interesting at all).
Not too long into this period I felt like I almost completely lost my sex drive. I used to masturbate about 5 times a week (less if I was in a regular sexual relationship) and I noticed I had no desire anymore, maybe once or twice one week and then nothing for another week or two, or even three.
I eat a very well balanced all natural diet, participate in a rigorous and regular exercise program, do yoga, don't drink excessively, don't smoke, don't take any medication. My life has been going pretty smoothly, the only stressor/depressing factor has been the joke my dating life had become, and I would classify the stress/depression stemming from that as fairly minimal - I figured that when I finally met someone that I felt was worthwhile, I would snap out of it.
I did start dating someone recently, and we finally spent the night together. I felt a bit more drive to have sex with him at first, but we took things pretty slow and I almost lost all desire a few times. Once things got going I was pretty responsive and into it, but afterwards we stayed awake and when he started to initiate a second round I was pretty frustrated to realize I didn't have the same urge. I used to be good to go just about all night, especially for morning sex, which it practically was by this point. I tried to just push myself to go for it again, and I did get into it alright once things got going but I still felt not quite like my old self.
I'm really frustrated, I don't know what's wrong. I want to want sex like I used to, I really felt like a huge element of my personality was defined by my sexuality and I've just lost it. What could be going on?
**Also, I haven't gotten my period since the new year. My system's always been pretty funny, skipping them and having late ones, but now it's 4 missed cycles and that's gotten to be a little more out of the ordinary.
I've also got a very similar problem and am looking for answers. Do you also find it hard to get wet even when you are turned on?
So far the internet has said that low testosterone or low self esteem can cause decrease in sex drive. Maybe its worth looking into how you've been feeling about yourself lately and getting your hormone levels checked. I'll let you know if I find anything else out.
Yea, I used to get very wet very easily, and its significantly less now. I would say its more that it's actually a lot harder to get me turned on, but it could be both.
I'm nervous about hormone treatment, I'm really into natural therapy and I hate taking any medication. I'm not even on birth control, it made me feel like a crazy person.
I've been very successfully dieting and exercising, I feel amazing about my body, I've been getting my hair and nails done regularly to keep maintaining feeling good about myself too, since I've considered that maybe deprssion/self-esteem was part of the problem but unless I've got some seriously deeply rooted issue with myself, I would say I'm pretty much as confident and happy with myself as I've always been, I've always felt pretty sexy and I feel even moreso now that my body looks the best it's ever been. Now I just want it to work like it did before!
Try to eat libido boosting food to increase your sex drive. Oyster, dark chocolates, garlic, bananas, avocado, nuts and fish are proven effective in increasing libido. Smoking and drinking alcohol is also one factor for reducing sex drive so you must avoid this. A natural libido enhancement supplement designed for woman can also help, if this process still doesn't work then t's time for you to seek for a medical advice. Good luck!
I have a couple thoughts to throw at you. First question is that if you're skipping periods it's obvious something is not right. You mentioned dieting, are you overdoing it? I've heard of long disance runners who commonly skip their periods due to their low weight and other stuff I can't remember. Secondly, is it possible your body is now getting a little more picky on men due to the fact that it wants a seriously "viable" mate in case you get impregnated - Nature and all working.
Please see a doctor to rule out any physical problems. Good Luck!