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Old 05-09-2012, 09:10 PM   #1
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Question Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

I'm 26 years old, 27 later this year and cannot reach an orgasm through vaginal intercourse. When I masturbate with a toy, it can be reached sometimes as easily as 30 seconds. During oral, it can be reached as well but not as quickly as masturbation (which, I know we all know ourselves better than others). For some reason, no matter how great the foreplay and oral is.. intercourse will never make it happen. Is there a trick? Does vaginal stimulation create a different orgasm feeling from clitoral stimulation and I don't know I'm have one? I'm really becoming concerned with this and frustrated (as you can imagine!). Does anyone know anything I can do?

 
Old 05-09-2012, 09:17 PM   #2
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

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Originally Posted by DoveLynn View Post
I'm 26 years old, 27 later this year and cannot reach an orgasm through vaginal intercourse. When I masturbate with a toy, it can be reached sometimes as easily as 30 seconds. During oral, it can be reached as well but not as quickly as masturbation (which, I know we all know ourselves better than others). For some reason, no matter how great the foreplay and oral is.. intercourse will never make it happen. Is there a trick? Does vaginal stimulation create a different orgasm feeling from clitoral stimulation and I don't know I'm have one? I'm really becoming concerned with this and frustrated (as you can imagine!). Does anyone know anything I can do?
I'm 24 i have never reached orgasm from sex ever ever.I can from a toy too and i can from oral. I think a lot of women can't and they just think they can, or they are lying. Whenever i tell guy's that i can't reach orgasm from sex they say something like "that's because you never had me" or something dumb and i tell them no i definitely can't and i believe most women cant. and they say that they have made plenty of women orgasm, and they get offended when i tell them that those women were probably liyng. I have always dreamed about how great and amazing it would be to orgasm from sex. You are not alone!

 
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Old 05-10-2012, 01:25 PM   #3
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

I have only been able to have an orgasm through intercourse with only 3 men. And each time it has taken months, for me to reach a certain level of "comforbility" with them before I can do it. It takes a lot of clitoral stimulation, like you on top, not bouncing, but kind of grinding against him, or with him on top, again kind of grinding into him. It is very difficult for me to reach an orgasm through intercourse without some type of clitoral stimulation, like it's only happened maybe 2 times. The key is to make sure your **** is being rubbed against him somehow. And you would definitely know if you were having an orgasm, no matter how it comes on. orally, through intercourse only, from a toy, etc....

 
Old 05-10-2012, 04:48 PM   #4
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

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I have only been able to have an orgasm through intercourse with only 3 men. And each time it has taken months, for me to reach a certain level of "comforbility" with them before I can do it. It takes a lot of clitoral stimulation, like you on top, not bouncing, but kind of grinding against him, or with him on top, again kind of grinding into him. It is very difficult for me to reach an orgasm through intercourse without some type of clitoral stimulation, like it's only happened maybe 2 times. The key is to make sure your **** is being rubbed against him somehow. And you would definitely know if you were having an orgasm, no matter how it comes on. orally, through intercourse only, from a toy, etc....

but you still need clitoral stimulation, so technically the penis inside your vagina is unnecessary, it just makes it feel a little better. i do agree though you can have it rubbed against them while you ride them but it will take awhile, especially if you are used to your clitoris being stimulated by something much faster like a toy or oral sex.

 
Old 05-11-2012, 10:48 AM   #5
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

Maybe you could quit "pleasuring" yourself, since your obviously orgasming through stimulation directly on your clitoris, Hard rubbing, and I know some of the toys are really strong too! It''s like when men masturbate a lot, sometimes sex cant bring them to orgasm, because they are used to the strong grip from their hands. I think as long as you can have an orgasm through sex, even though you are "grinding" against him, it counts!! Like I said, very rarely have I even been able to achieve an orgasm without any type of clitoral stimulation, one was with a man who had a very small penis, and another with a man who kind of had a "curve" to his penis, therefore, maybe hitting the "g spot"?

Still, I think anyone, even "sex therapists", will tell you for a woman to have an orgasm with no clitoral stimulation is VERY difficult, probably even kind of rare, and from having both, with stimulation and without, the feeling is no different. The orgasms are the same for me, as long as there is a penis inside. Orgasms from oral are a little different.

 
Old 05-11-2012, 02:25 PM   #6
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

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Originally Posted by BrokeBack13 View Post
Maybe you could quit "pleasuring" yourself, since your obviously orgasming through stimulation directly on your clitoris, Hard rubbing, and I know some of the toys are really strong too! It''s like when men masturbate a lot, sometimes sex cant bring them to orgasm, because they are used to the strong grip from their hands. I think as long as you can have an orgasm through sex, even though you are "grinding" against him, it counts!! Like I said, very rarely have I even been able to achieve an orgasm without any type of clitoral stimulation, one was with a man who had a very small penis, and another with a man who kind of had a "curve" to his penis, therefore, maybe hitting the "g spot"?

Still, I think anyone, even "sex therapists", will tell you for a woman to have an orgasm with no clitoral stimulation is VERY difficult, probably even kind of rare, and from having both, with stimulation and without, the feeling is no different. The orgasms are the same for me, as long as there is a penis inside. Orgasms from oral are a little different.


i agree, and men are very ignorant to this fact, they think they can just put their penis inside and make us orgasm,,, it would be so awesome if we could orgasm from that

 
Old 09-03-2012, 09:01 AM   #7
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

I am 55 and have never been able to orgasm without clitoral stimulation, and not even from oral, only masturbation. It's just the way I am. Luckily my husband understands this. We both have low libidos, and giving pleasure with our hands works well for us. I agree that many men don't realize that their penis alone is not enough stimulation.

 
Old 09-03-2012, 01:43 PM   #8
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by DoveLynn View Post
I'm 26 years old, 27 later this year and cannot reach an orgasm through vaginal intercourse. When I masturbate with a toy, it can be reached sometimes as easily as 30 seconds. During oral, it can be reached as well but not as quickly as masturbation (which, I know we all know ourselves better than others). For some reason, no matter how great the foreplay and oral is.. intercourse will never make it happen. Is there a trick? Does vaginal stimulation create a different orgasm feeling from clitoral stimulation and I don't know I'm have one? I'm really becoming concerned with this and frustrated (as you can imagine!). Does anyone know anything I can do?
I had the same issue, same age. My partner is VERY loving and has no problem with the fact that during sex I put my fingers in the right places and get the job done. It has to do with anatomy, and it's probably VERY common. I used to have to wait until intercourse was over before I could achieve a climax. After practice and patience, I got to the place where I could masturbate to climax during intercourse. It was worth working for. Either way, I wouldn't miss a good clitoral orgasm for anything, and my partner wouldn't want me to miss it (because it's his favorite part of sex, however it happens!). Good luck. No worries!

 
Old 04-28-2013, 01:19 AM   #9
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

Well I am new to this, but I came to this site because of this problem. I always wondered what was wrong with me, I had guys ask if it was them and I knew it was me. I thought it was just me my friends would talk about sex. I didn't understand them. I was attacked at 19 I have thought since them maybe that could be it or something else. I to get stiliated by doing other things. I am glad to find out that there are other women that are like me. What you all have said has help me a lot. Thank you.

 
Old 04-28-2013, 08:14 PM   #10
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

Most women don't orgasm through intercourse alone, they need some kind of clitoral stimulation along with it. If your partner is expecting you to orgasm w/o that extra stimulation, he needs a lesson in female orgasm.

There's nothing wrong with you

The trick is getting comfortable enough to tell a guy who doesn't already know this. You don't want to hurt his ego.

 
Old 04-30-2013, 06:41 AM   #11
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

In fact, just to provide further reassurance, my husband is RELIEVED that he doesn't have to spend an hour "working" on me to get me there. We can get the timing right and have a great time, no pressure, everyone pleasured, both of us happy and relieved, because I help. Go for it!

 
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Old 05-10-2013, 11:54 PM   #12
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Re: Can't reach orgasm during sex, but can alone

Xaviera Hollander (The Happy Hooker) always said, if you get used to a vibe...nothing else will do. Same goes for masturbation. You can get used to having orgasms a certain way and it can become very difficult to have them any other way.

 
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