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Old 08-22-2012, 08:16 PM   #1
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Question No desire for sex. Medication to help?

I have no desire for sex anymore. It used to be so much fun and I want to want sex again. My husband and I used to have sex often; sometimes several times a day. I would think about being intimate with him when he was gone and call him, begging him to tell me what he would "do to me." Now when we have sex I feel nothing. It's like the nerve endings in my vagina turned off. I try to think about sex, remember how much I loved making love to my husband, bring back those feelings, masturbate, watch pornography, etc. It is more boring than reformatting the footnotes in my masters' thesis. Actually, I would rather be reformatting those footnotes.

I became very ill when it happened. I mention this because it was during the time that I first became sick that my sex drive diminished. I believe that it has to be related to this. I lost my sexual desire before I started taking the medication, though, so I do not think the medication is at fault.

Is there any medication that has worked well with helping your desire for sexual intimacy?

(Before you suggest I should see a therapist, I'll mention that I've already seen several. I put all of my being into becoming my old self again using therapy).

 
Old 10-22-2012, 09:40 PM   #2
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

I wish someone could answer you here as I am the same. Since hysterectomy in December I have a negative 100 sex drive. Before that I lost it also due to female pain. I see mg Dr Thursday and even though It's a male Dr I am outright asking him.for viagra to.get my desperation across! My poor husband. I want to be in the mood again. I've had 3 kids and been married 23 yrs. It's not fair.
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Old 10-23-2012, 08:13 PM   #3
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

You may want to try testosterone cream. Talk to your GYN. She or he will test your testosterone levels and the pharmacy can compound a a cream just for you at the level you need to bring your testosterone levels back up. .

 
Old 11-11-2012, 02:02 PM   #4
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

Hey workin mom. I want to ask if your dr suggested anything. I have all of my female working and I am only 26. I have NO drive, want desire for it at all. It has impacted my relationship with my hub (9 yrs and counting) I have a feeling it is part to do with my meds but I cant be sure. I was just curious of what he said

 
Old 11-18-2012, 04:13 PM   #5
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

Hi, sorry, I forgot to post after I saw him.

All he recommended and I am trying is something called Fosteum. It's a medical food, need an RX for it. It's listed for Osteopenia and bone loss, but has supposedly worked with hot flashes and sexual desire. So far, after a few weeks, I have fewer hot flashes, but that's it.

I just think it's so unfair that there is nothing for us-I mean, they sure invented viagra for men, but what about us women???
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Old 11-19-2012, 01:05 AM   #6
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

I know how do you feel.

I feel...
There is something missing, as if you get trapped in the middle of dark well. You want to get up to the surface, but you can't. Not to mention drop to bottomless of that dark well.

But you can't, feels like get stucked in the middle of the dark well. No matter how hard you try, the well seems geting narrow.

Is this how you feel, either having sex or not?

------

If this is how you feel, then the problem is, your feminine is exhausted.

------

In tao-te-*****, sex life belongs to yin part, the female part. The feminine is in here. Where the world which can be described as: garden with many colors and flowers, supermarkets, hospitals, Church(for christian), and many places that have sense of community. Places where women can share how she feels, have somebody to listen or be listened to - directly.

So, if you're a carrier woman, where work at the place which distress in masculinity world, probably your feminine is hungry. They scream, as if, they aren't fed enough - empathically.

Days and years, yet you come home, and still your feminine doesn't get what it wants at home. You expect your husband, but alas he talks a strange language, your feminine does not understand what he said.

Then you choose the sex, you think it would make your feeling better, but yet it doesn't. You feel nothing. The more he thrusts, the pain your feeling becomes.
You feel dirty of yourself.

You feel like -- you're not yourself....

WHY?! Why this is happening to me??!
------

(It's me now ;P)
I think the major problem is in the communication. First, you expect much from your partner. But he -as if- never listen to you, empathically. You fell of not being loved, feel of being abandoned.
Actually, it happens in most marriage couple, including me. Because it's not our nature. But why when in dating time, he is a nice one. Yep, in dating process, man exchange their masculinity to learn how a feminine was. So, they can become a good empathy-listener.

In mariage life, I try to spare a bit time to listen to her empathy, even though I'm extremely tired. I need to be alone, to redeem my exhausted masculinity.
I know most women love if she has someone to listen what she feels, after that she will feel better. She feels be loved, and she loves the one who had listened to her.

After she had been listened, just wait a little moment. She is thinking back what she just said to me. Then, the sex is ready to be cooked later.

This is how my wife never complain about our sex life. Even when we're discussing it, she enjoys the sex topic.

 
Old 12-11-2012, 11:52 AM   #7
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

YES I wish they would come up with something for women like they did for men! Im 25 married and ever since I had issues of loosing my sex drive while being on my BC years back I haven't gotten it back its frustrating for me and my husband! I think my past BC messed me up because now I never want it at all I feel horrible! But I don't have health insurance to cover a routine visit to ask my GYNO. so I have no way of figuring anything out right now!!

 
Old 12-11-2012, 04:03 PM   #8
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

The reason why they have so many pills for men is because their problem is a really easy fix. Men are very simple creatures, it doesn't take much to fix their issues. Those pills are not for libido, they are to enable greater blood flow to the area which results in major assistance with erection problems. That's why those pills are worthless for women because we don't have erection problems so that's not going to do anything for us.

Women's libido issues are a majorly complex problem that involves mostly hormonal and emotional elements that are impossible to nail down. The closest thing to a temporary fix is the testosterone cream which has helped some women but not others. The thing is, to get to the root of any woman's libido issues takes a lot of time and patience and it has too many layers for anyone to come up with a "one size fits all" treatment such as a pill.

If the testosterone cream doesn't help then the only other thing is to keep trying to remember what it felt like to have a sex drive and try as much as possible to experience those feelings again. It's a long process but some women have managed to retrain their brain to think those thoughts and therefore be able to feel those feelings again. But other women have such a mental block that they can't make their minds "go there" anymore for whatever reason.

 
Old 12-11-2012, 04:58 PM   #9
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

Kszan, I know women are more complex than men are, I don't seem to understand what my issue is. I mean I stress over our bills bc we live paycheck to paycheck but I don't knowingly think about it constantly its more like a "I think about it when paying bills" and that's it thing... I don't know, my husband and I get along great and never fight but there is something that is preventing me from even wanting to get in the mood. I just wish I could figure out a way to get myself in the mood, ive tried everything I can think of and nothing works, I feel so bad....

 
Old 12-24-2012, 10:41 AM   #10
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

I too have no interest in sex however I did notice that it seemed to start when I was first diagnosed with depression. Apparently many of the anti-depressants have this effect on women. I lower my dosage and the desire may be returning but not by much.

I agree with workinmom that all the studies are on drugs for men and nothing for women!

 
Old 09-29-2013, 12:42 AM   #11
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

Try vitamin B-12. It helped me and my husband.

 
Old 09-29-2013, 01:04 PM   #12
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Re: No desire for sex. Medication to help?

Ill have to ask dr about that or do you just take supplements? Now he had surgery and has cancer and I have back and neck pain also so I wonder if we ever will get that part of our life back.
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