So, I've decided to take advantage of the women's sexual health board. I've been searching for an answer on this, but I'm completely lost. Doctors refuse to do anything for me at this point.
I have pain during and after sex on most occasions. While I was on contraception, it was utterly horrific and sometimes I cried. I have been having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend for almost two years now. We have used various amounts and types of lubes to try solving this issue to no avail. Certain positions may be okay one day, but a really bad idea another day. For the longest time, he had to stick to sexual activities outside of penetration.
The flesh around the opening, especially the area just below the vagina, and inside of my vagina get really raw and sore. We used to think our problems was his size and the fact I was a virgin, but after this long, I have my very serious doubts. I have never really fully enjoyed sex. I want to. I feel like we've done what we can on our own whims.
What should I do?
What should I look for?
How do I convince doctors to try harder at finding the problem?
I wonder if you might have a bacterial infection.
When my daughter first went on the pill, it totally changed the chemistry of the environment of her vagina and she had a lot of pain during intercourse. Once she switched to a different pill (and cleared up her infection with antibiotics)
she's feeling just fine again and having no pain.
Did she have any other symptoms beyond just pain during sexual intercourse? I've tried both the pill and NuvaRing. Since I never had sex prior to my boyfriend (and I got contraceptive by the third time we ever "tried" to have sex) I have nothing to lean on. I don't know if it's a disease, an infection, etc. I've been tested for basically everything and had nothing come up. I've even been given a pelvic ultrasound.
I'm so sorry and I know how you feel. I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing young. I too had very painful intercourse with my boyfriend in college and soon to be husband. I'm 41 now, but then I was 20. It got so bad that the college clinic convinced me that I had herpes, because I came in one day with it swollen and rubbed place on one side. They started me on medication immediately, it didn't help, but I took it. I even would tear where a woman gets a episiotomy, so painful. Back then we didn't use k-y , which makes it so much worst.
What finally happened was I my gyno referred to a specialist who referred me to a doctor that specialized in that particular area in Texas. I thank God for that man everyday because he did a few test, looked at me and said "honey you don't have a STD, you have a chronic tear". He told me about a surgery I could have, but there was a chance of losing some nerves down there or having a baby naturally so my tissue could grow back strong.
What i remember is like you beginning to not enjoy it, because you already know it's going to hurt. So you're already tense and tight down there when he's putting it in, so of course it's going to hurt us. I do know that lexapro might help or maybe a low dose of adivan to relax you before. With my tear I use to put testosterone cream on it and it would be healed within days. But I was also on zoloft, which is a good drug that helps with anxiety too.
I don't know what doctor you see or what you tell he or she but you definitely need a good one. I still tear but I have come to realize that it has a lot to do with the trust and comfort level I have with the men I choose to be in relationships with. But the more k-y used when I am in a relationship the better.
I'm here if you ever need to talk. I wish something like this was available when i had no-one to turn to.