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Old 11-15-2012, 06:02 AM   #1
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Miwena HB User
Unhappy My bf wants to go back to swingers club

I really need some advice and/or ideas on how to feel about this and what to do.
I'm 31 and I've been living with my 32 yo bf for roughly a year now. He's the love of my life and in many ways I feel blessed to have him. We used to do everything together and experience lot of things for the first time. Swingers club also. It was originally his idea and I thought we might give it a try. We weren't swapping, just having sex with each other while watching and being watched. I didn't like it. We went back four times over past couple of months and I just don't like it. He on the other hand seams to enjoy it, and keeps on asking me to go back. He says he wants us to experiment and "have fun".
We came to the point where I don't feel like having sex anymore. When we have sex it's just not as passionate cus I don't think he's having fun with me and I'm afraid he'll start talking about going back there again.
I tried talking about it and pointing out that it was an adventure and I don't want to make an lifestyle out of it. But still whenever I loosen up a bit and forget about it he starts "joking" abut me not loving him anymore cus I don't want to do "fun stuff" anymore. We have a discussion which ends in him saying that we'll do all the things I want - even when he has a suggestion and I say no to it, we are still doing what I said. Again every suggestion he makes is going to different swingers clubs.
I feel we are slowly drifting apart and I don't know what to do anymore. I love him with all my heart but I don't want to share our intimacy.

 
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Old 11-15-2012, 07:41 AM   #2
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Re: My bf wants to go back to swingers club

You need to be willing to take a big chance of losing your boyfriend, by saying NO and meaning it. To say no and then go back four more times...that is not a "no". I would say that your boyfriend is taking advantage of you, but maybe he is just believing what you are saying. He obviously isn't dragging you back four more times, you are agreeing. If this is what it takes to keep him, is he the man for you? That's what you need to ask yourself, and only you can decide that. I think that in due time, he is going to want to go to the swingers club and have you both having sex with other people. That's just my two cents.

 
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Old 11-27-2012, 04:00 PM   #3
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Re: My bf wants to go back to swingers club

I agree with slenderella. You need to tell him EXACTLY how you feel and be prepared for his response. I wish the best for you and your hunny!

 
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Old 11-27-2012, 07:31 PM   #4
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Re: My bf wants to go back to swingers club

I know you probably can't see this through all the hype and stuff surrounding your relationship, but this is all about him. The test, (for this relationship) will be when you say no.

 
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Old 12-03-2012, 03:10 AM   #5
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Justice598 HB User
Re: My bf wants to go back to swingers club

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miwena View Post
I really need some advice and/or ideas on how to feel about this and what to do.
I'm 31 and I've been living with my 32 yo bf for roughly a year now. He's the love of my life and in many ways I feel blessed to have him. We used to do everything together and experience lot of things for the first time. Swingers club also. It was originally his idea and I thought we might give it a try. We weren't swapping, just having sex with each other while watching and being watched. I didn't like it. We went back four times over past couple of months and I just don't like it. He on the other hand seams to enjoy it, and keeps on asking me to go back. He says he wants us to experiment and "have fun".
We came to the point where I don't feel like having sex anymore. When we have sex it's just not as passionate cus I don't think he's having fun with me and I'm afraid he'll start talking about going back there again.
I tried talking about it and pointing out that it was an adventure and I don't want to make an lifestyle out of it. But still whenever I loosen up a bit and forget about it he starts "joking" abut me not loving him anymore cus I don't want to do "fun stuff" anymore. We have a discussion which ends in him saying that we'll do all the things I want - even when he has a suggestion and I say no to it, we are still doing what I said. Again every suggestion he makes is going to different swingers clubs.
I feel we are slowly drifting apart and I don't know what to do anymore. I love him with all my heart but I don't want to share our intimacy.

 
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