Hey, I'm a 19 year old girl going on 20 and I've been having some embarrassing problems recently. I've looked around the net but I'm not certain what the problem is.
Basically I've started trying to have sex with my first serious boyfriend recently, but he just can't get his penis in. The first time we tried, I figured after that we hadn't had enough foreplay, because I was really nervous so we just got straight down and tried it but when he tried to push it in, it wouldn't go, at all. We gave up that time but a few days later we decided to try it again, this time we had some foreplay and used a lot of lubricant, but again when it got round to it, he just couldn't push his willy in, not at all. After that I started getting quite frustrated, we decided to keep trying every night we could and being persistent, as I thought that might slowly loosen me up, but it hasn't worked. We've tried loads of times now and he can just never get his penis into my vagina, everytime he tries to, everything feels really really tight down there, it just won't happen. Also if he really forces it it gets really painful :/
Are there any positions that work best when a girl is trying to lose her virginity? We've tried missionary and a couple of others but my vagina always feels equally tight whatever position we have tried. I just don't get what the problem is, I've looked about the internet and I know there's something called 'vaginismus' that causes tightness, but I've read that that is caused by bad experience in upbringing, but I've never had anything like that while growing up? Whereas I think this might be just the fact I'm a virgin, so I'm naturally tight, but I swear no other girls I've talked about losing their virginity (not many but still some) have had trouble like this. In fact they all lost it the first time they tried to, so I don't get it. Also my boyfriend took a girl's virginity before and he said it went in quite easily, nothing like this, he wants me to go to the doctor, but there's no way I could let some random doctor play around with my vagina, that would be so so embarrassing.
Does anyone know what the problem might be? I'd be really grateful for some answers. If anyone has had any similar experience please tell me, I'd love to hear about someone else in this situation, its so awkward.
Do you use tampons? Masturbate internally? Is your bf able to get his fingers in there? If you so, then I would say keep trying, just make sure you're super relaxed. If not, doctor time...
But regardless of the answer to those questions, you should probably get used to the idea of having a doctor messing around down there because once you're sexually active, it's important to start having PAP tests and whatnot.
Anyway, I too suggest you see a doctor. Your boyfriend is right. And it's not that bad, really!
My first bf and I tried to have sex for a couple of years and never quite made it. He got it in just a bit and that was itand it hurt like hell every time. After we broke up I found out he'd never broken my hymen. The next man I had sex with was smaller and well, it happened, it hurt and that was the end of my hymen. I've heard of women having to have their hymen surgically broken.
And you'll have to get over the embarassment of going to a doctor. It's something you're going to have to do.