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Sexual Health - Women Message Board
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:45 PM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Madeofglass HB User
Can't get wet knowing I won't enjoy the act.

I've had sex with five guys in my lifetime and I never enjoy intercourse. I can feel the penis inside me- sort of- but I get no enjoyment whatsoever.

I do enjoy getting oral sex so I'm not asexual.

I'm afraid this is interfering with my current relationship. He's a sweet person who loves me very much and I just can't- CAN'T admit that "hey I get no pleasure from your penis.."

It's really hard to even hide this issue anymore cause I just can't get wet. The thought of him soon going inside me just doesn't turn me on.

I also need more intense kissing but he's very gentle with me. I know I should talk about all of this but I'm afraid it'll just ruin everything and I'll lose yet another boyfriend.

And NO, I'm not a lesbian. I'm almost 25 so I'm pretty sure I'd know by now- plus, the female genitalia doesn't appeal to me at all.

I'm just sorta numb inside- OR I experience pain during intercourse.

It just seems very unfair that each and everytime it's just the guy who likes it. Well, I do enjoy the fact that there's a emotional connection and that he's enjoying it but yeah... need I say more.

Any ideas... I can't see a sex therapist cause I know (s)he'll bring up all these ridiculous theories like "were you molested", "are you religious", "are you asexual", "are you a lesbian", "maybe you just haven't found your G-spot".. blah blah blah.

 
Old 04-16-2013, 12:33 PM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 1969
Posts: 109
miss345 HB User
Re: Can't get wet knowing I won't enjoy the act.

I think from what you have said that you are pretty normal...First, a woman must have a sexual urge for the person she is with to be aroused to make this happen...Second, she must realize that out of the two sexes that the male is the lucky one as his sex organs are on the outside and aroused from the time he looks at her...Lastly, she must allow and want him to invade this private place that she has inside her legs...She must be willing to be a party in this erotic session called sex...Unless she can let herself loose and find this hidden woman inside herself then chances are that she can't be aroused...

To me the most important part of sex is that I love it..I love it because I adore the man I am with...I love it because he makes me feel so young...

To me we women were not created (or at least I wasn't) to put out for any male that comes along...We are special so he must be too....This is how I look at life and who I am...Take care...ILD....

 
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Old 04-17-2013, 09:09 AM   #3
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(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 159
Madeofglass HB User
Re: Can't get wet knowing I won't enjoy the act.

It's not that I don't find him attractive- I just would like to have some sensation down there- inside my vagina. Oral sex is fine but I do realize that intercourse is A MUST too... It's only normal for a heterosexual couple to engage in that. And I don't want to give oral sex to him, the whole idea grosses me out- so therefore, I let him inside me.

 
Old 04-17-2013, 10:54 AM   #4
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(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Posts: 109
miss345 HB User
Re: Can't get wet knowing I won't enjoy the act.

Why not go a bit more daring...I know as I did this with my husband about eight years ago... {deleted}

Go slowly...Learn yourself...Life is a learning experience...and IMO well worth the years it took to bring to perfection....I know...We live there...Take care...ILD...

Last edited by Mod-S4; 04-17-2013 at 10:32 PM. Reason: Please read the Special Rules sticky at the top of the board. Thanks.

 
Old 04-18-2013, 09:21 AM   #5
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(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Posts: 109
miss345 HB User
Re: Can't get wet knowing I won't enjoy the act.

I believe that a woman cannot become aroused unless she is with a man who completely turns her on...Not only attractive, but brings out the animal instinct in her...I dated many guys...However, until I met my sailor I never knew the true want of allowing another guy/man to touch me and thrill me as he did... I believe nowadays that we women are so programmed with what to do and what not to do as well as what to allow that we forget that this is our body...IMO, Sexual Intercourse or foreplay is not a thank you for a nice evening...It is a giving of yourself because you love someone...And loving someone is wanting someone...Take care...ILD....

 
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