It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Sexual Health - Women Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-29-2013, 02:19 AM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4
robert0301 HB User
Question Need help about my girlfriend. ANY would help!

I have a question I hope any some of you women could help me with. A few background facts about us. I work shift work, 4 on 4 off, and she goes to college 3 hours away. I drive up there every 4 days I have to so we can see each other or she drives down here on the weekend if I have to work overtime to see me and her family. I guess the question I have is I want to know if my girlfriend even enjoys our sex. I guess the reason I ask this is for multiple reasons and I just want other women's opinions because maybe it's all normal and I just don't know. I've had several sex partners before but only about 2 other serious long term girlfriends. With the previous 2 I don't really remember running into this problem yet I know everyone is different so I don't want to rely on that alone. When me and my girlfriend first started dating we were constantly having sex on the 4 days I would go see her. We would even have sex up to 4 times a day. It seems like now we don't really have it as much. I mean we only see each other every 4 days so it's still at least once a day for those 4 days but I didn't know if there was a reason for the drop in occurrence which doesn't bother me I just hope she still enjoys it. I know most people will say that when you first start dating someone the sex is constant and as you keep dating the number isn't as high but we've only been together about 5 months, would it drop this soon? If that is the reason at least I know. Another reason I wonder is I always perform oral sex on her before we actually start having sexual intercourse and usually she'd orgasm that way at least once before we start and sometimes during actual sexual intercourse she may or may not orgasm that way, I would say it's half the time. The main questioning behind that is that while I'm performing oral sex she stays wet but once we start sexual intercourse at the beginning she will stay wet but the longer the intercourse last its like it starts going away. Now we don't have sex for super long, I don't want to make it seem like that I would say on average about 30-45 mins, would most women start losing their moisture after that long? I really would like help because I feel like while we're having sex I'm just constantly wondering if she's even enjoying it. I'm constantly checking for her facial expressions and I feel like that's all I think about sometimes and I don't even think about the feeling of the sex. She's very special to me and I want her to be happy and enjoy it, I would hate to think she's not. I've tried talking to her about it and she swears and claims everything is great she loves our sex but as a man it's hard to not constantly wonder. Any help at all from anyone would be much appreciated.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 04-29-2013, 12:58 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 5,390
Thisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB User
Re: Need help about my girlfriend. ANY would help!

When you say you 'have sex' for 30-35 minutes, is that the whole thing, including foreplay, or just the intercourse? I'm hoping it's the whole thing because that's a super long time to be having intercourse and expecting her not to turn into the Sahara down there!

Women do dry up down there after a while, despite how much they might be enjoying it! And perhaps more so after they've orgasmed. Why do you think they make lube?

After reading your other post, it definitely sounds like you're psyching yourself out about all this. If she says she's enjoying it, trust her.

 
Old 04-29-2013, 01:29 PM   #3
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4
robert0301 HB User
Re: Need help about my girlfriend. ANY would help!

No it's not the whole thing. It's just intercourse. Yeah we've purchased lube but it also like hits her ego that we have to resort to that sometimes. So when it upsets her it kinda upsets me. She tells me I psych myself out too but I just needed more opinions to see if she meant that or was just saying that not to hit man male ego. Also I'm only 23 and she just turned 21 so I figured we were kinda young to run into these problems.

 
Old 04-30-2013, 06:18 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 5,390
Thisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB User
Re: Need help about my girlfriend. ANY would help!

Just the intercourse??? yikes! No wonder she goes dry. That is way too long to go without lube. You aren't running a marathon!

So she's upset if she goes dry, you're upset if you go soft... Seriously, it sounds like you guys are putting too much pressure on yourselves.

I remember reading a survey once that asked men and women about how long the ideal length of time intercourse should be and while I don't remember the actual numbers any more, one point they made was that pretty much across the board both men and women assumed the other sex though it should last longer yet what they actually wanted it to be was pretty much on par. Anyway, it sounds to me like you two might be suffering from the assumption that you have to go on forever just to please the partner.

As for the lube, if you use it as part of the foreplay and have some fun with it instead of waiting until she's actually gone dry, it won't seem like you're using it because she's 'failed'.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to Thisby For This Useful Post:
robert0301 (05-11-2013)
Old 04-30-2013, 02:06 PM   #5
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4
robert0301 HB User
Re: Need help about my girlfriend. ANY would help!

Thanks! Yeah maybe all mental. But as for the length of time it's something I can't help. I don't hold back or anything I know that method but my girlfriend tells me do not do that. It's just when I go that's when I go.

 
Old 05-10-2013, 11:45 PM   #6
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: AZ
Posts: 16
Tgram HB User
Re: Need help about my girlfriend. ANY would help!

I also think you guys should just relax and have fun.

But I don't think half and hour is that long. I think half an hour is close to average.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to Tgram For This Useful Post:
robert0301 (05-11-2013)
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



odolson (8), Thisby (8), STLouisgal (6), UofMWolverines (5), solofelix (5), Mod-S4 (4), Titchou (4), katlin09 (4), JumperOK (4), Whoopee (4)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1006), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (850), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:35 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!