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Old 05-13-2013, 10:52 AM   #1
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Unhappy ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

I have been married for 8.5 years to a great guy. He has back problems and ED. It is much to frustrating for me. We had a great sex life when we first got together but no more. He also abuses drugs...he smokes pot, he says for his back pain and takes enormous amounts of prescription pain pills to help. It changes is personality to point I dislike being around him.
Does it sound terrible if I am thinking of getting away from him?

 
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Old 05-13-2013, 12:15 PM   #2
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Re: ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

5 years? If it were me... stay married but I am human... I got needs. Find me somebody if you won't.

 
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Old 05-13-2013, 11:29 PM   #3
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Re: ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

Just because he has back problems and ED doesn't mean that he can't sexually satisfy you...He still has hands and a mouth....The abusing the drugs is another story...Unless he gets back to where he should be and finds himself then I may question if I was willing to waste my life with a "druggie"....I adore my husband, but I don't know if I could sit back and watch him destroy himself...The problems with drugs is that they change the person's personality and after a while you hardly know them...

I have a terrible back...I have been offered drugs many times, but I won't take them...I would rather be happy and live in the pain I am in...IMO, drugs are an escape....Especially with only back pain....Good luck....ILD....

 
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Old 06-18-2013, 08:45 PM   #4
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Re: ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

Sounds like there's more to this story. One does not just quit sex.

As far as drug/painkillers abuse, that is a Huge problem. Unless he is making attempts to rehabilitate, it will only get worse from here. I would most definitely make an escape asap.

 
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Old 06-19-2013, 01:25 AM   #5
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Re: ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

I think you should go to sex-pathologist & make him go cold turkey....

Last edited by lady6920; 06-19-2013 at 01:26 AM.

 
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Old 06-28-2013, 04:07 PM   #6
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Re: ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

Terrible? Absolutely NOT! I think that for whatever reason, that guy wants to leave you without giving up the benefits of having a wife. Why should you waste your life in forced abstinence when there is more than likely someone who wants to Keep You Happy. I know, because I wasted 22 (that's right, 22) years in a sexless marriage before I got sick of his crap and ended it. Fortunately, I am a healthy and young-looking 60, and can find someone who can Do It For Me.

 
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Old 08-01-2013, 10:27 AM   #7
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Re: ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

Another in the same boat here ..but for a lot longer , I have posted on several threads about my own lack of sex ..its so frustrating
And toys do nothing , well not the type I have tried
If anyone has any suggestions on toys that can suffice in this situation it would be much appreciated - many thanks

 
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Old 09-29-2013, 12:00 AM   #8
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slimmerbytheday HB User
Re: ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

Get away and do it quick. He is not doing anything to get better or make things better between you. You deserve to be in a satisfying sexual and emotional relationship.

 
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Old 10-19-2013, 12:36 PM   #9
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Re: ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

I have hip and neck issues and am in pain continuously. I do not take pain meds regularly (and I do not do illegal drugs to manage pain). I often cannot move for days at a time but the LONGEST my husband has gone without sex is a few months when the pain meds I do have aren't working. I try to save pain meds solely for weekends so I can at least lay in bed and cuddle up to watch a movie with him. ED is not the end all either .... not with all the pills out there to help.

I'm sorry but I would end my marriage if I couldn't have any type of intimacy with my mate for 5 years. That's insane.

 
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Old 11-06-2013, 07:51 PM   #10
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Re: ZERO sex for 5 years and counting

Hi!

I give you a lot of credit, because if it was me in your position, I would have left a long time ago. You don't deserve that kind of treatment, so it doesn't matter weather your have been married to him for 8.5yrs. or 50yrs. If he can't stop the stuff he's taking, and treating you with no respect. Then I say leave him, without feelings of guilt. I have had Epilepsy for 40yrs now, so I've been taking meds ever since. For him to say he's taking drugs for the pain in his body. Is nothing but a sorry excuse, he's doing it by choice. I have gran mal seizures, where I fall a lot, so the pain in my body can be intense. I've only used pain to a certain point, but I stick with alieve, or ibuprofen. I have a big family cousins, and all. So I've talked to a few and told them that if I didn't have to take meds due to my seizures I wouldn't take them at all. Only because all they do is add chemicals into your body that messes up the inside of your body. This does not include the side effects the chemicals can do to your brain. So I ask them how stupid can they be to take drugs that causes the same reactions, and worse. The worse in their case is how they treat those around them that care. That would be your case, but if he's anything like those in my family I've tried to help open their eyes, and mind. Then he's not worth your time. Sorry I had to share all that with you it just makes me mad when people abuse their body, and their mind by using drugs, and then turn their abuse on others! Good luck, take care, and God! Bless!

 
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