Hubby not a sex guy - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

ironlady · 11-01-2002, 02:52 PM

How many men could care less about sex? I thought all men were sex crazy until I got married. It was fine for the first few months, then bang! He says he can live without it and when I want some to let him know. He hasn't made a move on me for the last two and half years, he doesn't like bj's and prefers to get himself hard. I've tried all the sexy clothes and fantasy things but he just goes back to what he was doing. I love hime like crazy and have no other problem with him. He's caring and sensitive and says he loves me but just doesn't care for IT.

Iron Lady Tired of trying.

maryett · 11-01-2002, 04:47 PM

I think he's being selfish and ignoring your needs in this part of the relationship. He's satisfying his needs but as far as you're concerned, you're on your own. That's not right! I think you or both of you should go and see a relationship counsellor about this as I don't think this situation is going to improve by itself, because he's quite happy with the way things are now.

dustbunnys_baby · 11-01-2002, 07:09 PM

Maybe he got told by someone that you didn't like to pressured in sex and that if you wanted it you would pursue it with him. When my husband and I were dating there was this guy who my ex-boyfriend as well as great friend. Until my hubby and I hooked up. See I took it slow with my ex because I didn't really see a big future with him so I would not kiss him or anything like that. Which was good cause he really hurt me in the end. Anyways, I wanted so badly for my now hubby to just touch me but he wouldn't make a move of any sort on me and I thought he didn't like me. I asked him what was up and he said he loved me so much he didn't want to do anything to push me away. I asked him what gave him that Idea and he said my ex told him that I liked to go really slow and that I wouldn't want to be with him if he tried anything. Which was not true i never said that. turned out the guy was insanely jealous. ask him. be honest. Much love Sunnie

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mlgable · 11-01-2002, 11:16 PM

Has he had his hormones tested to be sure there is no other problem that might be correctable? He should see the doc and get this done. If those are ok then you both need to sit down and talk about this and discuss what type of compromise you think would be acceptable. He needs to agree to meet your needs every so often and you might agree to something that meets his needs. Since he is not one to initiate sex a good compromise on his part would be that he will initiate sex every so many weeks or every other time or whatever is agreeable to you. You in turn might offer to give him a back rub but no sex during the other times since he has a low sex drive.

ironlady · 11-04-2002, 10:23 AM

Thanks for the help. I'll talk to him about the hormone thing. He says that he's had less pleasure since having a vasectomy. Could this be a problem???