Ladies...... your opinions please. - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

NJ · 11-05-2002, 01:28 AM

I'm am getting married soon to a wonderful woman in January and she has never had a man totally want to satisfy her. I know this because we have open and honest communication about everything. The reason that I am asking for your opinion is because I want to give to her a sensual messaje and I have the special oil or also some flavored cream but what I am not sure of at this point is if I will blind fold her during this pleasurable experienece in which I am thinking to indulge her during our honeymoon. We will be in a perfect place for something so erotic and sensual. We are going to the Dominican Republic. As I stated before that we have very clear and open communication but at the same time I like to keep several elements of surprise for my very beautiful wife to be and I plan to be spontanious with this idea.
One thing that I forgot to mention is that in this place that I am thinking to also have many many candles because I only want that illumination only of candles and soft romantic music.
Please feel free and to be open and honest because I am here to learn from you ladies out there. My desire for my wife is that she knows without a doubt I have every intention to give her the most incredible life in and out of the bed.

chau..... NJ

Griffy · 11-06-2002, 12:05 AM

First off, I'm a 21 y/o male, never married, but feel I have grounds to offer my advice through experience. The following suggestions are all thing's that I have done in relationships and I extend the ideas to you because I saw first hand, how much emotional & sexual satisfaction is gained and received.

Don't be old fashion & present a women with flowers, cards & poems. Instead, imprint your ability to be creative in her heart. Make sure that what you do will most likely not be done by any other. Creativity is so nice when it's put into play for a romantic idea. Here are some examples.

1) Don't give a girl flowers direct from the florist, all wrapped in paper. Instead, buy a dozen roses and put them ontop of a fan. Later on, pop in a CD & play her fav love song. Ask her to dance and be sure to dance right under the fan. Turn it on and watch that beautiful smile come out as the flowers fall apon the two of you while dancing. (This is better done with flower pedals, but it can be done with whole flowers)

2) Don't just write a poem on a piece of paper and hand it to her. Go to a store and buy some street chalk. Write an entire poem in an empty parkinlot and take her atop a building to read it below early in the morning. (This is best done if you show it to her around the time whichever parkinlot it is starts to get busy) because now you can sit and watch people try to read it and share some laughs together. Have a picnic ontop of the building too!

3) Remember how much fun you had at your prom in HS?...You may not be married to whoever you took that night, but you can make your wife your HS sweetheart for atleast one night. Clear out the biggest room of your house/appt or wherever you subside. Decorate it with everything posable and hang a huge banner reading "Welcome to **** & **** prom". Dance the night away and say something sweet when she walks in the door.

4) You don't have to dance at a dance, you don't have to dance when your alone either. You can dance whenever your heart desires. Mall's play music over the intercom, if you like a song, ask her to dance!. Some restaurants play music, get up and dance beside your table!. No one else matters, their not there. It's just you and her in your own little world.

5) Blindfolds are great ideas. When eyesight is taken out of the equation, the other senses go into overdrive!.

6) Peaches & Cream...need I say more? - Food rocks when put together with sex. Chocolate, cherries, strawberries, honey, whipcream, ice-cream, icecubes, jelly ect ect.

7) I don't care who you are, a woman's feelings, desires, want's & needs come first no matter what. Ask her what she likes, ask her what she want's. in your case, ask her "What a perfect honeymoon be?" and make sure she elaborates on every small detail. Anything is posable with some creativity. Example: (Just making something up) if your going to NYC for you honeymoon but can't afford Cancun (the place she wishes the two of you can go) be creative with something she elaborated on. "I just want to lay in a hammock and watch the waves crash against the rocks."...Just because your in NY doesn't mean you can't pretend to be in Cancun at the same time. Buy a hammock and screw it into the corner of a wall..do you have a laptop computer? download a picture or screen saver that has a picture of wakes from Cancun. Now lay in the hammock and enjoy the smile on her face because I'm sure she will think it's sweet.

8) Tape your entire honeymoon, and yes I mean everything, including sex. So you can relive the entire trip 10-20-30-40+ years down the road. (Some find that being videotaped during sex is erotic) give it a try, your getting married so your going to be trying a lot of new things.

9) Love is a gift, Love is the synonym of God. Thank her everyday that she made the decision to give this gift to you and you only.

10) The honeymoon doesn't stop when it's over, the honeymoon will last your entire marriage if you want it to. Be consistent with romance and love her like you were an adolescent who has fallen in love for the first time every sing day.

11) Buy a dozen roses, give it to her and say "My love for you will die when all of these flowers do.". But be sure to replace one of the flowers with an artificial one first (WINK WINK)

12) Do you remember where you first met? Where you went on your first date? Take her there once a year to relive that moment.

13) Don't be greedy in bed, what goes around doesn't always have to come around. Please her and let her relax. Give her an orgasm then cuddle with her, tell her to watch TV and not to move. Go cook breakfast, lunch, dinner or make desert for her and give it to her while she is in bed. Hell, make it a routine to do this every Sunday morning when the two of you wake up.

14) Sing to her! Her fav song anywhere, anytime & every single time the two of you hear it while together.

15) Women Love getting Love letters, so send her one. Yes, even to your own house. She's still getting a love letter right?

16) When the 'guys' are around it's not time to be macho. Be yourself and treat her the same way you would if the guys weren't there. There has been countless time when I have had friends over and I treated whomever I was dating at the time like a queen. While my friends were calling me '***** and girlie' their g/f's would sometimes come right out and say "Why can't you be more like him?" lol (They hate me for that and now ask me for advice all the time).

17) ~Damn, this list is getting long!..

18) Conclusion. Be everything she want's & defy everything a man is supposed to be when it comes to immaturity, quickies in bed, 'typical man', lazy, non romantic. Strive to be 'That guy that doesn't really exists'!!!...Creativity rules supreme, make sex fun, sensual, erotic, interesting & innocent. But toss in some quickies for a change on ocassion. Have sex in odd places, in different positions, give a massage without wanting one in return ect ect. I can sit here and type an entire novel on ideas for sweet & romantic thing's to do and I can lecture about creativity & how to achieve bliss in a relationship including in the sack for hours, but I won't...Because now it's up to you

Best of luck in your marriage & God bless your children.

P.S: Never forget...*Be that guy that doesn't really exist* ;-)

---------------------
G. Skyler
NY
Paramedic & Student

Griffy · 11-06-2002, 12:14 AM

Ok, just one more thing, I promise. I didin't pick up in your post that it would be your first time. So, in that case!...Make it innocent, sensual and make love to her. White satin sheets, candles (the works). I dissagree with Sandra, an oil massage is not kinky, it's intimate. However she is right in one aspect of what not to do. Don't make it kinky and do forget the creams. And make foreplay last a few hours ;-) It's the first time so make it last as long as you can so you can suck in every second on the experience.

NJ · 11-06-2002, 01:07 AM

Great advise Griffy. This is my first time to get married as is hers also. I have thought of everything that you said and yes after the honeymoon the romance will continue because this is a lifetime commitment that I am making and not some short run at a romantic entrlude. She is my world and she knows that everyday I am thankful to her but also I show her that I respect her as a woman and as my future partner.

I do send to her poems and differnt songs that have letters in which are very romantic as she is Colombian and currently living in Colombia. But one thing that I did do today when she was at work, I called and spoke with her mother and sent money for her mother to buy roses but not only one time. She will keep my beautiful bride to be in roses until the month of January as this is when the wedding is. I have her mother as my accomplise in everything.

From the beginging of our relationship I have arranged for her to get suprises. For example on her birthday she got roses and a card. Also there in Colombia Valentines Day is in September. Now understand that she never ever said anything to me about this day but I took the initiative and found out about this special and sent to her home more roses "but big and beautiful red ones" Incredible. As I treat her and my "Colombian Princess".

Now about the sensual messaje. I do not plan to make this kinky in any sense of the word. This is my idea to take the time and give to her complete pleasure and to include "orgasm". I do know if she has ever had an orgasm from a man but sure I plan to be with her like no other person has ever before. She will feel like a total woman in every meaning of the word.

I love her and I do not plan to treat her as a play thing because this relationship has been built out of respect and appreciation to include honesty and communication. The blind folk is to do just what you said, "to make all the other sences go into overdrive." And sure I will talk with her because I have been around enough to know that if I show to her my total dedication to her and fulfilling her every desire then I will also receive in turn a full and health life with her in totality. She will never feel neglet or anything similar.

I am me when I am around her. I do not change if I am with the boys or if I am watching football. This is something I have always been and after 41 years I don't think that I am going to change at this point in my life.

Also I do very much appreciate everyones opinions as this is what I asked for. I may not have to agree with everything but sure I will take the advice that I feel relavent for my cituation and roll with it.

Thanks again!!

NJ · 11-06-2002, 01:17 AM

Griffy we are planning our honeymoon in the Dominican Replublic

so I am going one step more than Cancun.