drving myself insane, need help - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

confused101 · 01-11-2003, 09:56 AM

ok, first off im 17, I get drunk everyone once in a while with my 2 best friends. usually we just chill and cuddle and go to sleep. well recently we got drunk and while my one friend fell asleep , i ended up making out with my other best friend. it was very passionate, i dunno, she was into it as much as i was . i love her , but, its just kind of akward. the next day it was like nothing happend and its been that way since. Does anyone have any advice on how i can bring it up with her? and talk to her about it? shes a conservative , shy person. I ve wanted to talk about it so bad because even tough it was akward. it wasnt bad, what really scares me , is that i enjoyed it.
has anyone else ever had an experience like this? are these feelings normal? & how can i bring it up with her?
thank you so much to anyone that responds.

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-confused-

Thisby · 01-11-2003, 10:11 AM

I'm so sorry to have to ask this but your name doesn't give it away: are you a girl? I don't want to assume so, just because you posted here. It could put a whole different spin on your dilemma, compared to if you were just a shy guy wondering how to fess up your liking your best friend.
Thanks.

confused101 · 01-11-2003, 01:05 PM

im a girl

Thisby · 01-11-2003, 07:59 PM

So you have the whole 'lesbian' issue to deal with...
First of, nothing like this has ever happened to me, and I'm not a lesbian, but I've seen straight friends have lesbian flings and I have lesbian friends. (Not that that makes me qualified for anything, but I have talked to them about it.)

Now another question (sorry). Have you ever made out with a guy? I'm just trying to figure out just what you're worried about. That you might be a lesbian? Since you were drunk, it's possible that you were just taking comfort in what was available, not necessarily what you'd choose if you'd had a choice at the time. If you've never been with a guy, you have nothing to compare it to. The fact that you have now had a lesbian encounter does not necessarily make you a full-fledged lesbian. You will only know that when you are sure that the only kind of sexual relationship you are interested in is with another woman. That's going to take a lot of self examination on your part, and you're still young.

As to how you might bring it up with her. Man this is tough. I'm just going to write a bunch of things and maybe you might get something out of it.
If you want to bring it up because you're hoping to do it again, then you're going to have to be very careful. There are a lot of things people will do when drunk that they wouldn't do sober. This could be one of those for her. If she's terribly ashamed, there will be clues. If she's not, there will be clues for that too.

Anyway, you didn't give any indication of whether you've ever had any feelings like this before this encounter, that will have a big effect on how you move forward. Anyway, I don't want to write any more without some feedback. (I'd hate to be going off in the wrong direction here, when all you wanted was a way to say "Hey, about the other night, that doesn't make us gay, you know, just waaay too drunk.")

I hope some of this helps.

chitrick · 01-12-2003, 09:02 AM

I'm going to get a little judgemental here. Sorry, but it's the parent in me. Why are three 17 year old girls getting drunk together, chilling out and cuddling in the first place? Mature adults are not capable of making safe rational decisions when they've had too much to drink. And you girls are just teenagers! "Getting Drunk", no matter what age, is a poor choice of how to spend your time. And the reasons are many. Your little kissy experience is just one example. If it had been a strange male that you happened to be drinking with, you may now be telling us about an unwanted pregnancy or STD.

Go ahead and discover your sexual orientation. But do it when you are sober and you are thinking clearly.
As for your girlfriend...she is probably experiencing the same thoughts and feelings that you are right now. I'd say...go ahead and talk to her about it.