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Old 01-15-2003, 02:23 PM   #1
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Unhappy I have never had an orgasm during intercourse

I have been sexually active for 2 years now. I have never had an orgasm through sex though. I never told ANYBODY this before. I thought something was wrong with me. So, I used to fake the orgasms with my ex-BF. I have been with my BF now for almost 10 months and I have been faking the O's the whole time. A couple of days ago I told him this because it felt really wrong. He was very upset by it. I told him it was just something that came as a normal thing to me because I was so used to not having an O during intercourse. We talked a lot and we both feel a lot better that I told him the truth but, now I really wanna have an O from intercourse. It has never really felt good before. There is no sensative feeling in me when he is inside of me. The only way I can have an O is oral or just when he rubs my ****. We are very in love and I want to get some advice on how I can maybe possibly get one so that he will feel good about about our sex. And sex will be more enjoyable for me too! Please Please Please HELP ME!!!

 
Old 01-15-2003, 02:52 PM   #2
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You might try a vibrator during sex. Stimulate your **** with it during intercourse. And don't feel alone! It was a couple of years after my first experience with sex before I really knew what I needed from a lover. I've been know to fake a few even now just to satisfy my hubby (who feels he hasn't done a good job if I don't come). Go get some toys and enjoy!

 
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Old 01-15-2003, 03:26 PM   #3
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Faking is just plain wrong(IMO). If a guy cant handle that women dont always orgasm then he needs a reality check. My Dh was like that when we were first together but I sat him down and explained that orgamss dont have to happen every time. Also explained to him that only about 30% of women are able to orgasm from intercourse alone. In other words 70% of women never orgasm from intercourse.
A trick that always has worked for me is to get right on the edge orgasm from oral and then go into intercourse. Works like a charm but I am one of those women that can orgasm from intercourse.
Do a search for the clitoris and you will find some sites that talk about this subject. Have your bf read it so he will understand how the female body works. He will also understand that not all women will orgasm from intercourse and that it has NOTHING to do with his performance.
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Old 01-15-2003, 07:42 PM   #4
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I think it's really sad that women are led to believe that the way to an orgasm is through intercourse while in fact the statistics point to the opposite being true. More women DON'T orgasm through intercourse (without clitoral stimulation) that those that do. Some statistics put the number as low as only 10% of women can orgasm that way. You are totally normal.
This false expectation is perpetuated by women who fake orgasms (so congrats on finally fessing up) and the movies, where women seems to have these remarkably easy orgasms while the guy is doing nothing but thrusting. Yeah right. Faking orgasms does nothing but teach a guy how to do it the wrong way...

Anyway, you are probably just one of the majority of women who needs direct clitoral stimulation either with or without intercourse in order to orgasm. Your bf should probably be able to accommodate you, and if not, get a hand down there yourself.

Have fun

 
Old 01-15-2003, 10:00 PM   #5
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Hi- I read about things you can do to have an orgasm during sex in Cosmo, and a couple days later- BAM! This was after not being able to have them for my first four years after being sexually active. The trick was to put one or two pillows under your butt- which props you up more and makes your **** rub more against him. I have had them ever since- about 98% of the time- and within a couple months I could have them without the pillows. I am not trying to brag or anything- I'm just telling you that with some practice I think this is the best way to start having them. But you can't just lay there and expect it to happen right away- you have to push yourself against him and rub back and forth alot when you start out- I had to anyway. I hope this helps!

 
Old 01-16-2003, 10:20 AM   #6
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That's a lot of help! Thank you so much! I will absolutly try that and let you know how it goes! SO, when you said the thing about the pillows, do you mean that I could have an inner orgasm? Or just an orgasm from having my **** rub on him? Please let me know. Thanks again for your advice!
Love, Bunky

 
Old 01-16-2003, 07:38 PM   #7
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have you ever tried a position that targets your g-spot?

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Old 01-16-2003, 09:35 PM   #8
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Yes, I have tried tons of positions. Everyone we could think of. I don't even think I have a g-spot. Thank though!
Love, Bunky

 
Old 01-17-2003, 09:26 AM   #9
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Just stimulate yourself during sex. Reach your hand down and rub your own **** while you are having sex.

Granted this does not necessarily teach him how to "give" you one (God I hate that phrase).... but it's a step in the direction of mutually beneficial sex.

I would have voted a big huge no on telling him you were faking him out for the last 10 months though, because this leads gravely into areas where he is justified to doubt your word in other areas as well and question if you're faking him out about anything else.

 
Old 01-17-2003, 09:47 AM   #10
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Okay, I will definitely stimulate myself or have him do it during sex, but I'm not sure what kind of orgasm I'm supossed to have by doing that. Can I have an inner orgasm or just an outer one from just my ****? Please let me know. We gradually started having sex again, since I told him about the whole faking thing. We are very excited about all the advice you guys gave us. He's just not ready to have full on sex just yet. (Still feels weird) When we do though, I will give you some feed back! Thanks again, Bunky.

 
Old 01-17-2003, 11:34 AM   #11
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No one can tell you what kind of orgasm you will have.
Orgasms themselves are just great to have no matter how or where they occur. Granted they will feel different for each person and some will say this one feels better than another and so on but that is for that person.
Like for me. G-spot orgasms are totally mind blowing,vaginal orgasms are awesome just like clitoral orgasms are awesome. But in the end it doesnt matter to me which I have just as long as I am content with what did happen and that includes even if I didnt have an orgasm.
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Old 01-17-2003, 05:29 PM   #12
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most positions. i cannot have one. on top.. ALWAYS. i need other stimulation in other positions..

 
Old 01-17-2003, 05:30 PM   #13
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also.. don't worry about it.. just have fun..

 
Old 01-17-2003, 07:25 PM   #14
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Join the club I havent either and I have been sexually active 21 years.

 
Old 01-17-2003, 10:00 PM   #15
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Women don't usually have an orgasm through intercourse. There's a percentage that claim to have one, but I question that. For a woman to orgasm it requires stimulation of the clitoris, unless she has an extremely large one or its being manually stimulated during intercourse then I guess its possible. Otherwise its a seperate event from intercourse, perferably before intercourse either manually or orally.

 
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