I have never had an orgasm during intercourse - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

Bunky 1718 · 01-15-2003, 03:23 PM

I have been sexually active for 2 years now. I have never had an orgasm through sex though. I never told ANYBODY this before. I thought something was wrong with me. So, I used to fake the orgasms with my ex-BF. I have been with my BF now for almost 10 months and I have been faking the O's the whole time. A couple of days ago I told him this because it felt really wrong. He was very upset by it. I told him it was just something that came as a normal thing to me because I was so used to not having an O during intercourse. We talked a lot and we both feel a lot better that I told him the truth but, now I really wanna have an O from intercourse. It has never really felt good before. There is no sensative feeling in me when he is inside of me. The only way I can have an O is oral or just when he rubs my clit. We are very in love and I want to get some advice on how I can maybe possibly get one so that he will feel good about about our sex. And sex will be more enjoyable for me too! Please Please Please HELP ME!!!

luv2play · 01-15-2003, 03:52 PM

You might try a vibrator during sex. Stimulate your clit with it during intercourse. And don't feel alone! It was a couple of years after my first experience with sex before I really knew what I needed from a lover. I've been know to fake a few even now just to satisfy my hubby (who feels he hasn't done a good job if I don't come). Go get some toys and enjoy!

Blastoff9600 · 01-15-2003, 04:26 PM

Faking is just plain wrong(IMO). If a guy cant handle that women dont always orgasm then he needs a reality check. My Dh was like that when we were first together but I sat him down and explained that orgamss dont have to happen every time. Also explained to him that only about 30% of women are able to orgasm from intercourse alone. In other words 70% of women never orgasm from intercourse.
A trick that always has worked for me is to get right on the edge orgasm from oral and then go into intercourse. Works like a charm but I am one of those women that can orgasm from intercourse.
Do a search for the clitoris and you will find some sites that talk about this subject. Have your bf read it so he will understand how the female body works. He will also understand that not all women will orgasm from intercourse and that it has NOTHING to do with his performance.

Thisby · 01-15-2003, 08:42 PM

I think it's really sad that women are led to believe that the way to an orgasm is through intercourse while in fact the statistics point to the opposite being true. More women DON'T orgasm through intercourse (without clitoral stimulation) that those that do. Some statistics put the number as low as only 10% of women can orgasm that way. You are totally normal.
This false expectation is perpetuated by women who fake orgasms (so congrats on finally fessing up) and the movies, where women seems to have these remarkably easy orgasms while the guy is doing nothing but thrusting. Yeah right. Faking orgasms does nothing but teach a guy how to do it the wrong way...

Anyway, you are probably just one of the majority of women who needs direct clitoral stimulation either with or without intercourse in order to orgasm. Your bf should probably be able to accommodate you, and if not, get a hand down there yourself.

Have fun

camjean · 01-15-2003, 11:00 PM

Hi- I read about things you can do to have an orgasm during sex in Cosmo, and a couple days later- BAM! This was after not being able to have them for my first four years after being sexually active. The trick was to put one or two pillows under your butt- which props you up more and makes your clit rub more against him. I have had them ever since- about 98% of the time- and within a couple months I could have them without the pillows. I am not trying to brag or anything- I'm just telling you that with some practice I think this is the best way to start having them. But you can't just lay there and expect it to happen right away- you have to push yourself against him and rub back and forth alot when you start out- I had to anyway. I hope this helps!