BIG PROBLEM - HELP - Is it the Hymen? - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

Ravenna · 01-19-2003, 08:22 PM

Hi All -

My friend has this really difficult and rather upsetting problem. I was hoping she could get some help here? Here she goes :

"My mom and I never talked about sex. I grew up in a very repressed houshold and we NEVER talked about things like this. So I'm just beginning to learn about all this stuff. I found my birth certificate and it said I had a vaginal lesion & my mom told me that the doctor had taken his thumbs and basically broke me one. I don't really know what 'vaginal lesion' means except that I didn't have an opening to my vagina. Help on the definition???????????

I am 18 now and have been dating my bf for 3 years now. On our 2 year anniversary we tried to have sex for the first time and it was ridiculous how small I was. It hurt but nothing seemed to break or stretch no matter how hard he pushed. He ended up quitting because we ended up pushing so hard that it started to hurt HIM! My opening is the size of a thumb but he's the size of my wrist!!! We've almost given up trying anymore.

I've heard that the hymen doesn't have much or any feeling at all, but I have LOTS! When I try to stretch myself with my fingers there's so much pain everywhere that it's miserable to even try. No matter how hard I try nothing seems to stretch and it never changes. SO. Is that still my hymen or am I just forever small? It feels thicker than just a layer of skin. It feels like that's just the way the opening is. Like there is no hymen?? My GYN says I'm fine and to just work on it with my fingers but it's so painfull!!! HELP!!!!!!!"

Okay so there it is. I thought it may be that she just has a really thick hymen, but I don't know if it's supposed to hurt that much. We could really use your help. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

-Ravenna

P.S. - Anyone heard about C.A.H. ? It's when the baby girl has too much testosterone and it causes her to develope differently. My friend and I are thinking that this might be a good reason for her problem, as well as her having no chest, boyish build, ambiguous sexual deformities (as above), etc, etc. Any thoughts?

[This message has been edited by Ravenna (edited 01-19-2003).]

Blastoff9600 · 01-19-2003, 09:58 PM

Her best bet is to go to a different doctor with her medical records and get a second opinion. She might have to go to more than one doctor but she should be experiencing pain like what she is describing.
If she isnt too embarrassed then she could have her bf go with her to help describe what occurred when they did try to have sex. I know that sounds so creepy and such but it might help the doctor get a better idea of what is going on.

Ravenna · 01-20-2003, 03:32 PM

Thanks Blastoff. Does anyone else on this board have this problem, or know someone who does?

Thanks.

silverwill · 01-20-2003, 05:23 PM

Hey Ravenna!!

I don't know what C.A.H. stands for. Could you clarify that for me? I think I might have some info on the problem you're talking about. Your friend should get a 2nd opinion, & if she can get a referral to a genetic counsellor-that could be helpful. Sounds like either something environmental (in the womb) or she may be an XY female.

Ravenna · 01-20-2003, 06:28 PM

We were actually wrong about C.A.H. - it stands for something else. We can't find the actual name for what we were talking about. What's an XY female?

Thanks!