Do i have herpes? - Sexually Transmitted Diseases Message Board

aliend · 12-19-2004, 05:16 AM

Hey all. Let me start out by saying that i do NOT have sex that often. Im a 22 year old male and I have only had sex with a few people.

That being said, I just recently got over a crab infestation which was truely disgusting. Im starting to question whether sex is really worth it lol

Anyway, ever since I first had oral sex with my ex girlfriend (which was about 5 years ago) I have gotten sores on my penis, maybe once a year or every 2 years, not often.

At the moment I have had sores for a few days now. They have burst and now look ulcerated. After looking on the net at pictures I am almost 100% certain that I do have herpes. Should i seek treatment or is it pointless considering they dont really bother me that much? I mean, if they started to occur every few weeks I will seek treatment but at the moment they are not.
Could it be something else?

Another question. I have been in a relationship now with my gf for over 3 years, and I dont know how to tell her this. I am scared she will think i have been cheating, when I havent. You may say "i thought u just said u got over crabs" well yea, I got it off her (maybe?). She swears that she never cheated but after talking to a doctor about it, he said that when I got it (about 4 weeks after we had sex) it was too long for me to have contracted it from her as you usually notice the itching within the first week. So anyway im giving her the benifit of the doubt, and I love her so much I dont want to leave her or anything, even if she did cheat. And i obviously dont want to give her herpes, of course we use protection and i wouldnt have sex with her while I have the sores but is that enough to protect her? Ive read that u can still pass it on when u dont have sores?

Ok thanks for reading and take care

Heavensent102 · 12-19-2004, 11:25 AM

Yes, you can pass herpes on without hving sores it is called viral shedding. And if you ae still not 100% sure that it is infact herpes... you should go get a blood test done, to see if it really is, and to see what type you ahve. You saixd that they appeared after your girlfriend gave you oral sex a few years back, then you might have HSV 1 (which usualy appears as a coldsore on your mouth) but you can also get it genitaly like, oh lucky me did. Which I assume is probably what you might have because you said you barely ever get an outbreaks. It is up to you if you want to go on any medication for this,there is medication such as valtrex that you take once a day and it is supposed to cause less viral shedding so that the chance of you passing this on to your girlfriend is less.
Oh and your girlfirend might be telling the truth about the whole crabs thing, because you can get it from someones bed, borrowing pants or clothes, stufflike that... but if you are doubting her then maybe your instinct is right... I mean if I ever had to think about if my b/f was cheating or even sleepin with someone else... I'd dump him soo fast.. but anwyays I hope this helped a bit.
Merry christmas xoxox heaven

aliend · 12-19-2004, 08:00 PM

Thanks so much for the reply. Merry christmas to u too

The thing is with the crabs she swears that she never got them at all. So i have really no idea how i got them. I didnt share clothing or anything. Its just so strange.

About the blood test. I have had several over the alst few years and they all came back negative but then I got the sores again recently. I will definatlly go to the doctors again, your right. I dont want to risk passing it on.

Take care

Mecpcpj · 12-19-2004, 10:21 PM

I'd have to agree with you that this does sound like herpes. You probably contracted it from the same person that you got crabs from. Regarding the treatment, I think you should look into it. There is no cure for herpes but there are methods to control the breakouts. I've heard of histofreeze which is what they do with plantars warts, they do the same thing with genital warts, just freeze it off. The warts usually come in cauliflower patches and sometimes they're so small that they are hardly visible to the naked eye. Also, they spread when they burst or puss.

It is highly likely that you gave it to your girlfriend. Condoms can help prevent the spread of it but other forms of genital contact can also spread it. Often, the warts are present on the inner thighs as well as the genitals which means that if she came in contact with the ones on your thighs she could have gotten it. Even if you can't see it, it could still be there. If you have HPV or genital herpes you can pass it on when you're broken out or when you're in remission. good luck!

LBSB22 · 12-19-2004, 10:32 PM

You're girlfriend my very well be telling you the truth. You can get crabs from so many different things. You can also get them from using the toilet (to go #2) after someone who had crabs. It's as simple as that. But if you still have doubt that she was telling the truth then you two need to have a major discussion. Also, she very well could have given you herpes and not even known that she had it. Most people with herpes have no idea they have it because they show no symptoms, so try and give her the benefit of the doubt on that one. But, you definetly should inform her that you are having symptoms....of whatever it may be since you haven't gotten tested for it. You say you never cheated and I hope she believes you and that you two can work through it. I also am in the same predicament as you on the whole herpes and not cheating...as my fiance and I were broken up awhile back for almost a year and I got herpes from a guy I dated in that time. So, it was very scary to tell him about it fearing he'd think I cheated...but luckily he kept an open mind to what I had to say. So, Good luck! It'll all be o.k.!