Is my partner lying to me about genital herpes - Sexually Transmitted Diseases Message Board

Tracey68 · 11-21-2007, 03:50 PM

Hi, need advice my partner of nine years has just told me he has genital herpes, he keeps saying he hasnt slept with anyone else but I am finding this very hard to believe. He reckons the doctor told him it can lie dormant in the body for a few years, but we have been together nine so what am I to believe. He also told me that it was hereditary but I have been looking on other sites and they all say it is not. Although I am showing no symptons I am going to the doctors asap. Any advice would help as I feel like I am going mad.

Many Thanks

Thisby · 11-21-2007, 09:06 PM

I believe the correct response would be "liar, liar, pants on fire".

I'm sorry you have a boyfriend who thinks you are that gullible... What I would be more willing to believe, is that he has been hiding it from you for a long time. Is he acting all casual about having it?

sara43 · 11-22-2007, 07:55 AM

Hi Tracey. Yes he's probably a lier!!! Yes you can have herpes and not know it. And yes it can lay dormant for years but there has to be signs of it.
That's I how I got Herpes 1 and 2 about a month ago, from a lier.
We dated 3 months before doing anything. We got tested, we both said that we can back negative. What I failed to ask was to see a copy of his results!!! Dummy me. I am learning a lesson the hard way. It's hard for me to trust anyone right now. But I'm learning that I come first. And you should to. Go the Dr's and get tested. You need to know. Also keep in mind that it can take from 4-6 weeks to show up in the blood. So IF you just got it, it may not show up right away in your bloodwork. When I first tested I showed Pos for Herpes 1 for culture sample and bloodwork but neg for Herpes 2 in the bloodwork. Three weeks later I was retested and this time it came back Pos for Herpes 1 and 2 down there. How devastating was that!!!!
I am now trying to forgive myself from believing a jerk and to eat right and exercise. My self esteem took a major hit and I'm working on a recovery.

Take care of yourself and put yourself first!!!! It's obvious that he has.

Good luck.
Sara.

Tracey68 · 11-23-2007, 04:58 PM

Thankyou so much for your advice, he is still adamant that he has never slept with anyone else, but admits to having oral sex three years ago when we had a break. He is treating me like a fool and trying to carry on like everything is ok, but like you said he has probably had signs of it before. Last year he was on medication for what he said was a urinary infection but now I guess this was probably yet another lie. Do you think that his cheap thrill three years ago has come back to haunt him now. I am just so amazed that I have had no symptons but cant get to my Doctors till next week to get checked so got a great weekend of worrying ahead of me.

If it wasnt worrying me so much I'd laugh at some of his lame excuses but until I know for sure I'll save them for another day.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply to me

Take care

sara43 · 11-25-2007, 01:15 PM

Tracey
Yes it can stay dormant for 8-10 years even. And yes you can get herpes from just oral sex. If the woman has Herpes 1 cold sores and goes down on a man, then yes the man can get herpes. Get tested for both herpes 1 and 2. They have to ask for each test.
I'm still crying about my mess I'm in but I'm trying to forgive myself for trusting the jerk, to eat right and exercise, and to move on. Easier said than done!!
Good luck and god bless.
Sara.