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Old 10-14-2012, 11:14 PM   #1
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It's really over

I am sure everyone will be glad to know that things are really done with my boyfriend. He is sleeping on a blow up mattress in the living room and if we talk, we just fight. He is looking for a new place to live and I will struggle to stay in my apartment. I talked to my counselor about living at home and why I don't think it is a good idea and he 100% agrees. I am looking for a tutoring job to make some extra money. It will be really tight for November and December, but I will sell things if I need to, to make due. I am sad, but not really. Mostly I am sad because he gave me HPV. Yeah, pretty much the reason I didn't want to leave him was due to the fact that I could have sex with him and I feared no one would want to be with me due to my "status". So, now on top of my already low self-esteem, I am HPV positive and feel absolutely disgusting. No one will want to be with me now, so I am most likely going to go live in the woods with the forest people or join a convent.

Last edited by Administrator; 10-19-2012 at 06:29 PM.

 
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Old 10-15-2012, 12:10 AM   #2
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Re: It's really over

Sorry about that, especially your HPV.

There is good news though.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the body’s immune system clears HPV naturally within two years for 90% of cases

 
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Old 10-15-2012, 08:54 AM   #3
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Unhappy Re: It's really over

Is that really according to the CDC? I have read that same fact and my doctor happens to think the same thing, but other reports claim no one knows enough about HPV to definitively say that. So, say that is true and I'm part of the lucky 90% and I clear the virus within two years, that makes me 32 until I can find someone else. Not only that, the moral thing is to tell someone you have HPV, because DOES the body REALLY clear it??
Some days I really want to go back to him because I feel like I have no other chance at being in a relationship. This really blows.

 
Old 10-15-2012, 09:19 AM   #4
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Re: It's really over

TG HPV is no big deal.....it will clear on its own
and i'm not convinced "its really over" just because he's sleeping on an air mattress.....when you are sleeping in different houses, it will seem more likely that it's really over.....please follow thru

 
Old 10-15-2012, 03:05 PM   #5
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Re: It's really over

HPV IS a big deal and there are many people who wouldn't think about dating someone with it. My life is over. The usual independent, excited for what my life will be feeling is gone and pretty much I'm a depressed mess.

 
Old 10-15-2012, 08:15 PM   #6
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Re: It's really over

Quote:
Originally Posted by tattoodgirly View Post
HPV IS a big deal and there are many people who wouldn't think about dating someone with it. My life is over. The usual independent, excited for what my life will be feeling is gone and pretty much I'm a depressed mess.
if you're using protection it is a non-issue....., I'm pretty sure you're worrying for nothing. It will clear on it's own. Your life is nowhere near over.

 
Old 10-16-2012, 08:01 AM   #7
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Re: It's really over

I also agree that HPV is NOT a big deal at all! When I had to have a leep procedure done because of some suspicious cells, the doctor told me that it can be related to having HPV but that almost everyone has the virus in their body if they are at all sexually active. The doctor did not even bother or suggest I be tested for HPV but just said that if I was sexually active that chances were that I carried the virus. He was completely nonchalant about it!
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Last edited by BeaTrade; 10-16-2012 at 08:02 AM.

 
Old 10-16-2012, 09:25 AM   #8
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Re: It's really over

Well, I have high risk HPV, like you are describing. I have known that for a few months. Then, I recently found a growth that could be a wart. I won't know for sure until I get to the doctors next Wednesday. I think the coincidence she is speaking of is that HPV/genital warts ARE a big deal to people who have them and many people would not start or continue a relationship with someone who has them. I am not saying this is very nice or ideal, but many people are not educated on the topic and only hear, STD, STD, STD. I would have ended things with my bf sooner as he was what I really want, so risking my health would have not been worth it, but I found out I had HPV too. Also, using protection does not prevent HPV. It is spread by skin to skin contact, not fluids. That is why pretty much everyone will get it at some point in their lives. My ex was tested for everything when we first got together, but since men can't be tested for HPV and since he never had symptoms, he had no idea he had HPV. So, I'm not blaming him, but it still sucks. This is something I need to tell every future partner, even after the symptoms have gone away. Dating is hard without having HPV. Ugh...

 
Old 10-16-2012, 09:43 AM   #9
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Re: It's really over

Unfortunately there is a whole lot of ignorance out there that IS for sure! But luckily in this day and age, it's just a google search away to become NOT ignorant anymore!
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Last edited by BeaTrade; 10-16-2012 at 09:44 AM.

 
Old 10-16-2012, 06:42 PM   #10
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Re: It's really over

So do you think every person who has an STD should believe their lives are over and should join a convent or live in the forest? I think if that were the case that forest would get pretty crowded!

If YOU believe your life is over, it's over. But I can assure you there are plenty of people with STDs who have thriving relationships and are even (gasp!) getting married and having families! Do you really believe the only people who have successful relationships are 100% STD-free? Because if you do, you're wrong.

See your doctor, get a prognosis and start taking positive steps to get yourself as healthy as possible. Don't do like you've done before, which is nothing other than feel sorry for yourself. It's all about how you choose to deal with things. You can choose to be miserable and believe your life is over, or you can make your life the best it can be.

BTW, I have some serious medical issues and I have never, ever allowed them to stop me from meeting men and dating. My issues are not the kind you'd go talking about to random people but every guy I've dated has accepted them.

Last edited by CadenceA; 10-16-2012 at 06:43 PM.

 
Old 10-16-2012, 07:43 PM   #11
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Re: It's really over

TG, I'm not trying to minimize what you're going through because I know this is upsetting news for you. But as the others have said, the fact is that this is not only a very common thing, it's also totally treatable and fixable. With the high risk type that you have, once it's cleared up (per your doctor), there's really no reason to worry about it anymore. Try to put it in perspective with people who have very visible or much more serious illnesses and yet they are finding relationships and getting married and even having kids! I'm talking about people who are paralyzed, people with facial or other physical deformities, people who are blind or deaf, the list goes on. All of those people have a more serious issue than you do but so many of them are still out there living their lives, getting into relationships and not feeling sorry for themselves. It can be done, it's all in your attitude and how you choose to move forward.

I've learned a lot this past year watching my dad's declining health. He really suffered a lot with his illness. There were days when he would be so weak that he could barely walk a few steps but man did he ever fight hard to keep pushing forward and fighting every single day. He passed away in May and although my heart is permanently broken from losing him, he blessed me with this last lesson to carry with me always. That is, no matter how bad I think I have it at any given moment, there are definitely people out there who have it far worse. And if those people, like my dad, can wake up every morning and fight their hardest to make it through the day then I have no reason to think I can't make it through whatever I'm going through. I think you should also think about this for yourself too.

This isn't the end of the world for you. It's a temporary road block that will clear up with proper treatment and then you will have nothing else standing in your way. Except you. You need to learn how to get out of your own way and then you'll see how much you can accomplish.

 
Old 10-18-2012, 09:04 PM   #12
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Re: It's really over

I know I don't have cancer or some other grave illness that would make dating harder than it already is. But, I have an STD. Not many people will over look something like that. I know you all say HPV is not a big deal and won't ruin my future, but have any of you had HPV? And I am talking BOTH kinds. The high risk and the WARTS! Many boards all over the internet have stories of people being dumped because of HPV. I already have really low self-esteem and walking away from my ex is hard enough. Now I have to prepare myself for a really rough road ahead. Maybe no one understands...

Last edited by Administrator; 10-19-2012 at 06:27 PM.

 
Old 10-19-2012, 11:16 AM   #13
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Re: It's really over

I could tell you about my friend who has an inoperable brain tumor (cancerous) who lost all her hair due to chemo and radiation treatments, or about my friend with herpes who is happily married with a family (and her husband proposed to her AFTER finding out she had herpes because he loved her and wanted to marry her despite her STD). I could tell you about my friend with the brain tumor who refuses to lie down and die, and who dealt with her baldness by going out and buying herself some "crazy" wigs...and who had to accept that she never will have children yet still fights back and embraces life. And my friend with the herpes whose husband accepts her and accepts the fact that he'll probably get it himself if he doesn't already have it and is totally OK with that...but you probably don't want to hear any of that. I'm sure you'll believe that your situation is worse and no one could possibly understand how awful your life and future are.

All I can tell you is life is what you make of it. That's not some sappy Hallmark card saying, it's the truth. It's 100% a choice. You can decide your life isn't worth a darn and you can decide to give up, feel sorry for yourself, or believe no one in the world has it as bad as you do. OR, you can realize that despite a totally treatable medical condition, you DO have something wonderful to offer the world. You can realize that having a boyfriend isn't the be-all and end-all of existence, that a boyfriend is a compliment to an already fulfilling life and not the reason for it. But of course, that's completely your choice. I personally have chosen NOT to let my very serious and sometimes embarrassing medical condition ruin my life, but then I tend to be an optimist. It's just so much more fun than sitting around bemoaning my bad luck and feeling sorry for myself! I've even learned to joke about it.

Choose to enjoy life! It's so much more fun that way!

 
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Old 11-02-2012, 02:16 PM   #14
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Re: It's really over

You have a greater risk of developing cervical cancer and your guy has a greater risk of getting tonsil cancer.

 
Old 11-02-2012, 02:24 PM   #15
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Re: It's really over

Do you have any idea how common HPV is. It is very, very, very common. That's why they developed an immunization for it. It can cause cancer of the cervix. Have your pap smear every year. Tell the doctor that you have hpv and move on. You may have already had it. Your guy could have had it from a long time ago. It stays in your system. All of your lovers may get it from you, even though you don't have warts at the time. Ditch the guy if you want. But do take care of your health. And I for 1 would tell your lovers that you have been exposed to HPV. It can cause tonsil cancer in men. My guy got that and he never had warts.

 
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