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Old 09-08-2003, 09:20 PM   #1
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Question Has he been unfaithful? CHLAMYDIA

Just back from my gyn. visit and was told there was bacteria present in last pap that could be chlamydia so doc did a "std kit" I did not get the chance to ask him my ? due to other pressing problems I have that took his attention away from that. I am SHOCKED. I am a 33yr old woman who has been faithfully married for 14yrs Now I have doubts. For the last 17 yrs the only one I have had sex w/is my husband. What about him? Is it possible that he has remianed faithful and we just picked this up between ourselves?!? Surely someone out there has had this same situation! THANKS!

 
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Old 09-09-2003, 12:18 AM   #2
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well, i don't know you or your husband. i could help you better if i did, but yeah. in my honest, not-trying-to-be-mean opinion i would have to say that he was cheating because i don't think chlamydia would stay dormant, well, at all seeing as it's a bacteria. if it was a virus that would be different. and chlamydia won't just appear by itself either. i dunno. that's what i think.

 
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Old 09-09-2003, 05:41 AM   #3
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I hate to say it, and I really hope I am wrong, but I think your husband must have gotten it and given it to you recently, because if he had it before you were married, you would have had it for 14 years, and there definately would have been complications from having it that long, know what I mean? Clamydia untreated leads to PID. And, like the other poster said above, it couldn't just appear, it would have had to have been caught from someone. However, definately ask your doctor about it, hopefully we are wrong. Good luck.

 
Old 09-09-2003, 07:19 AM   #4
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I think you are both wrong.
I was diagnosed with chlamydia a few weeks ago.
I have been married 11 years & have only had sex with my husband in the last 14 years. We have used condoms for the past 3 years & neither has been unfaithful.
When I spoke to my doc, she said it could have lay dormant for 16 years (when I had a 1 night stand)!
I have to say I was shocked...

 
Old 09-09-2003, 09:06 AM   #5
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really? wow, thank you for proving us wrong! (much to the relief of the original poster!)

 
Old 09-09-2003, 10:19 AM   #6
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Thanks, devastated, for not taking what I said the wrong way!

I have to say it's the kind of thing that could end a marriage.

 
Old 09-09-2003, 10:24 AM   #7
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i'm not so sure that the disease could lay dormant for 16 years!! there is no way that a woman that gets regular paps would not know she's had chlamydia... it is very devestating to your cervix, and no question it would show on a pap that there was an "abnormality"...

i hate to be the downer here... but, i think you might want to second guess the fidelity matter.... the disease COULD lay dormant without symptoms ..sure... but, would absolutely show up on a pap... put it this way... there's very little chance you contracted this 11 years ago and held onto it this long without any complications or it being caught.... even without having symptoms or complications... again, if you went to a doctor in the last 11 years for a pap... they would've seen something was wrong.

sorry....

 
Old 09-09-2003, 11:33 AM   #8
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Thanks guys! The only thing left for me to do is to wait out the test results, talk to the doctor, and then have a very serious discussion with my husband. I have to tell you the thought of him betraying me is unbearable. We have always trusted eachother and to his credit the man doesn't go anywhere! He doesn't drink, do drugs, etc...He is always with me and the kids. The warning signs of infidelity just aren't there. I can pretty much account for all his time. Maybe the test will come back neg. Doctor says that some bacterias can mimmic chlamydia.

 
Old 09-09-2003, 11:44 AM   #9
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you're very right that some bv's mimic chlamydia... i was told a few days before i found out i had chlamydia that "it's only a bacterial infection".... you can imagine my surprise when they called back a few days later and said... "oh... chlamydia is also present too"... but, they do mimic each other.. you don't necessarily have both.. you can have one or the other... bv you can get without the other partner being unfaithful.... sometimes there's just too much bacteria in your vagina for whatever reason...

anyway, i do hope yours comes back negative... chlamydia is not fun... i was diagnosed april 2002, cured finally in june 2002... and i'm still seeing my doc every 3 months for abnormal paps... (the chlamydia racked havoc on my cervix)

i didn't mean to definitely accuse your husband of cheating.... i think almost every woman "knows" whether or not her husband/s.o. has been unfaithful.. its a matter of wanting to believe it... intuition is brutal!! but, wait and see what the results bring you... and trust your intuition is my advice...

good luck!

 
Old 09-09-2003, 09:33 PM   #10
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I'm with Livinlearn on this one. You are lucky to go a year and not develop PID. Most people do within several months of no treatment. I've worked with GYN docs and I know they don't lie to patients, but they do try to avoid questions pertaining to infidelity. This is mainly done because it's not always the man who cheats...women do too, so they try to not point fingers in either direction. They are very careful as to what they say and how they say it. Chances are if it shows positive for chlamydia the doctor will say at most it is sexually transmitted and you and your partner both need to be treated. However, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion as of yet. Pap results can say different things, but they tend to say things like...high quantity bacteria, evidence of cervical inflammation, possible abnormal infection present. That doesn't mean anything without a specific test. That could just be a bad bacterial infection, but without the specific swab they can't be for sure. I wish you the best and if you are confident your husband has not cheated and you have not cheated you will be fine! Take care!!

[This message has been edited by normorcrazy (edited 09-09-2003).]

 
Old 09-10-2003, 08:06 AM   #11
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Thanks to all! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!!!

 
Old 09-10-2003, 09:56 AM   #12
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I must be unusual then. Like I said my husband & I have used condoms for the past 3 years, therefore logically I've had it more than 3 years, unless I've been unfaithful (which I haven't). I've not read anything on the net that says there's a time limit to this thing, only that most people only go to the doc when they have symptoms.
I't's been 6 years since I had a smear...unfortunately it's not like America here. I got the reminder after 5 years & put it off for another year.

Livenlearn, you say it's caused problems with your cervix, do you mind me asking what kind of problems?

 
Old 09-10-2003, 12:18 PM   #13
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hi ann...

i guess i should rephrase what i said, and say that "there's no question it would show up IF you're getting regular paps" i still don't understand how you would've had it for 5 years before that if you were getting regular paps back then... although you had no symptoms, a pap would show "something" wrong...

anyway, since having chlamydia, my paps have been coming back "abnormal"... i had a pap april 2002 - abnormal (ASCUS, & infection present) that's when i had chlamydia... another pap in june 2002, (ASCUS - no infection present)... colposcopy in june 2002 - same as pap... small "abnormal" ASCUS area on my cervix.... pap in oct 2002 - low grade lesion (a step up from ASCUS ((atypical squamous cells of undetermined significance)) - this one thru me for a loop... i thought i was "getting better"... anyway, another pap was done in january 2003 - ASCUS - no infection ... and then another pap in june 2003 - ASCUS - no infection ... then i did another colposcopy.... and again it showed a small abnormality, no worse or better than the year before... my doctor tested me for hpv, i was negative... so, the only thing that could be causing these paps to be abnormal was the fact that i had had chlamydia, and although cured of it... its wrath was left behind in the form of abnormal cells on my cervix ....

now... if left untreated(ASCUS), it could very easily go away on its own..... which is what we've been trying to do for the last year and a half.... 90% of ASCUS paps do go away on their own..(back to normal)... i'm not sure of the percentage of ASCUS paps like mine leading into precancerous cells... a very low number... AND even if it were to lead into precancerous cells... it would take years to get there.... hence why we have the paps annually... to catch such things BEFORE they turn into precancerous cells.... frankly, my doc said that i am in the "low risk" and it SHOULD go away without treatment.. especially because there hasn't been a change in a year ...(for the worse)... BUT, he also wants to "discuss" treatment options... which is having cryotherapy on my cervix... which is him "freezing" the top layer of my cervix with liquid nitrogen so that the cells on the top layer (which is where my abnormality is) sheds.... right now, i'm waiting to have that done, because i plan on getting pregnant in the next 3 months, and don't want to chance causing a risk to my cervix being incompetent... (my doc says there's a very tiny chance that would happen) -- but i don't want to chance it at all....

soooooo.... this all from chlamydia..... i, unlike you, contracted this from a slimeball.... so, needless to say it makes me angry to think "one night" led to all of this... but, i've learned my lesson... since all of this started in march 2002... i met my now husband in june 2002 and we married this past june... he's been with me thru all of this... god bless him....

hope i helped .


[This message has been edited by livenlearn (edited 09-10-2003).]

 
Old 09-10-2003, 12:21 PM   #14
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Ann1 I'm with you because #1 I'm with my husband for the last 17 years and the only other person I was with was 18yrs ago!!! It couldn't have just manefested itself now could it? And #2 that guy wore a condom too?!?(the one and only time we had sex) Something doesn't make sense here. I have researched on the web too and each page has the same exact info on it nothing ever different! Does any one have a web site with medical studies and stuff???

 
Old 09-10-2003, 12:52 PM   #15
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pwala - did you get your results back yet??? did your doctor say he was certain it was chlamydia??? have they even called you saying you have a bacterial infection???

try to be calm... i know and understand part of what you're going thru.... when i was told i had it... i felt so ashamed, so dirty.... on top of it... i had gotten pregant at the same time.... sooooo, it wasn't a fun time..... the man that gave it to me denied having it.... denied he got me pregnant.... etc... so, i think we can all understand how i'm not the first one to "believe" the opposite sex... when things don't line up right... it really makes me not trust what men say.... to top it off i was cheated on over and over by my first husband... but, now i'm getting off topic.....

web md has some useful info.... boards like these with others experiences helped me alot..... i wish i could give you more info.... have you been getting annual paps??? if you do have chlamydia... you caught it from your husband... (because you've been faithful)... sooo, if you caught it from your husband, you would've had it since the first few times you had sex with your husband... (if its true that he hasn't had sex with anyone else since you've been married)... IF you've been getting paps since then... and they've been normal.... there is very little chance that you've had it since then.... this infection can very much lie dormant for years... however, only if one hasn't been screened (such as having a pap)... paps catch ANYTHING abnormal... this being abnormal... the pap wouldn't say.. "yes you have chlamydia" .. but, it would say "infection present"

try and relax until you know exactly what you have... call your doctors and ask them if they've received your labs back yet, if they aren't back ask when they think they will be.....

bottom line.. you're going to be ok.... whatever it is you have was caught, and is curable....

 
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