had hiv exposure and terrified
I am a male, and in a long term committed and loving relationship with my girlfriend. We are both very sexually charged people and occasionally engage in threesomes with other women, or will both find a date with another person on the same night together. These are once every-other-month kind of things.
I, for some reason, have a thing for pre-op male to female transgender women which my girlfriend knows about and has no problem with. I met with one almost 4 months ago and luckily I decided to be the top this night. We had sex twice. I have no idea why, and have not admitted this to anyone because I am so embarrassed and ashamed, but both times we had sex it was bareback. I never, ever have done that with any of the trans women I've been with before because of the known risks with the gay and trans community. In any case, it happened. I also swallowed this person's *** twice.
Randomly enough, about 3 weeks ago, I ended up finding another t-girl who ended up knowing this other one that I had been with, and told me that they used to be friends but that this other girl was too promiscuous and heard she had contracted HIV recently. My heart sank and I admitted to my girlfriend that if this person is HIV positive, that I have been exposed. I didn't admit that it was unprotected but the chance was there for any of the other acts.
I've read the chances and I know I most likely am OK as the estimates are about 6 in 10,000 per act for an unprotected top. I just worry because this was a small-framed Asian that I had sex with and I'm a very thick near 9" which has all the ingredients for anal tissue tears. I don't know.
I guess I don't really have a question; I'm just scared to hell and needed to at least get this out. I recently had a burning-while-peeing thing that happened and my doctor did a million tests and tells me that I have Herpes - which most likely came from that same person. Herpes I'm not terrified of. The other virus, I am very terrified of.
At least I have a very supportive girlfriend