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Old 01-22-2009, 01:21 PM   #1
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My Story....

It sounds like a sob story.....sorry. This is very abbreviated...

My parents divorced when I was young. My mom remarried and I was adopted by my stepfather....who was not a good man. Never new my father until the day before he died.....which happened to be 1 month after my mom and stepbrother were killed in a car accident, that I was not in. I was 14. It was all downhill from there. I became withdrawn and out of control, and self sabotage was a specialty. Went to college...got pregnant had to drop out, and I trust no one. Get them before they get me, that had gotten better until these attacks started. I moved in with my grandparents, and got away with ALOT!!! Since then i have married, and had children. I am now 30. In the past 3-5 years I have developed some kind of anxiety/panic disorder. I get very shakey, hot flashes, tired, dizzy, nausea, worried, nervous, sad, angry, the usual I guess. Recently it has developed into stomach and chest pains and is taking longer to come out of it. Not sure why. I also have discovered that my fathers side of the family has a history of anxiety, panic, bipolar disorders. I feel like I have reverted back to high school days. I love the life that we have built. I am tired of constantly feeling like "when is the other shoe is going to drop?" I am trying to cope, but its not easy. It has started to interfere with daily routines. Social settings have become scary. Family members are getting irritated by my unwillingness to socialize. I want to get back my life for my children, my husband, and myself.

 
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Old 01-29-2009, 02:12 PM   #2
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Re: My Story....

There is one thing I tell my wife when she has this sort of panic attacks:
- When you feel ok, when you smile, when it's all good with your like....set yorself a point to get back to when you're down.
Here's a methaphor: Like setting a recovery point in Windows to revert the computer when it has a virus or some settings got messed up It's really like that.
Re-discover the joy of being a parent. Fill yourself with that. Find the "line" in that. We all need "the line" re-drawn at some point in life, for a reason or another. We just have to find the way to draw it back and being a parent is always a good way.

 
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