Ariaden

I'm a somewhat frequent visitor of healthboards. I've been on this board since 06 and some of my older posts almost make me want to laugh.

I guess I'll post my story since most of my posts are anxiety related anyway.

When I was a child, I witnessed my mother deal with severe panic disorder. At the age of five, I had my first panic attack. For three years, I was terrified of the thing that caused the attack. It consumed my 5-8 year old mind. I wont go into detail what it was, nothing horrible, mostly irrational. But scared me ******** none the less.



I've broken away from a lot of my phobias. However it comes back in waves. My latest problem is going to sleep, which is silly, because I'm unemployed and it doesn't even matter if I don't get any sleep lol.

When my fear does come back, I feel as if I'm walking in a dream. A nervous, fearful dream. I feel utterly detached from the world, I'm so consumed and focused on my fear that I lose sight of other people, of the world. As I write this my panic is slowly creeping in. (I actually started writing this feeling fairly decent)

All in all my battle with anxiety and panic has been an insane roller coaster. Some days it's hardly there, some days it's smothering me.

21 years and counting. Let's hope the future is brighter than the past!