Tierd of thinking
Hi Its been realy good to read the other post's and to know that I'm not alone in this, has much as I wouldn't wish It on anyone.
I'm 25 and have been suffering fron Anxiety and Depression my whole life. I always just thought I was going crazy and that I was the only one who was feeling this way.
As a child I was always fearful of everything from the typical monsters under the bed to just thinking the worst possible out come of everything I would do.
I would have panic attacks from just the thought of going to school.
This seems like the normal type of thing that alote of kids go through but this never went away It only got worse. I would constently think negative thoughts about everything and this lead to me getting very depressed. I shut myself away from everything when I was about 16 just wanting not to exist. I constantly would think about the best way to finish myself but would just pray that I wouldn't wake up.
Mum would take me to the doctor but was just phobed off.
I had a very mentaly and started in to a physically abusive relationship for about four years when I was eighteen which realy didn't help things and realy took me some time to get over this.
I struggled with work because I was so fearful of people seeing my Anxiety, not that I new that this is what I had at the time
I started to go out alote and got involved with party drugs, which I'm sure messed me up a whole lot more but when I was on them all my anxiety was gone but when I came down I just wanted to die. This went on for a couple of years and I got realy sick. I finally went to another doctor who told me I had Anxiety and this was the biggest relief after all this time that I had a real condition and that other people also suffered from It.
All this time I had hidden It from my co-workers and friend, I took some time but I finally ended up telling my close friends and everyone was suportive I couldn't believe It.
I got onto medication which realy did help. I've now gone off It after about two years but am not handling things very well. I realy hoped that I wouldn't have to stay on meds forever but Its a whole lot better then heading down hill again.
Thank you everyone for listening I know It was very long but when you've been suffeing from It your whole life Its hard to fit It all in