My Anxiety Story
Mine doesnt seem as bad as many here but it does affect my life.
Ill say it started at 19. Right before I moved out. I woke up gasping. ambulence came. I was told I was hyperventilating. This went on off and on for years. Who gets anxiety while sleeping ? ( I did a sleep apnea test a few years ago, that night I slept fine)
Living outside of my parents home with a bf I struggled with anxiety and low self-esteem. We broke up and I moved back home. Anxiety was pretty back burnered for years. Still the sleep problems but I was able to travel on airplanes, enjoyed outings, things were good.
Fast forward to married, 2 kids and gaining weight. Now the anxiety kicked in. Once at a fair I was sure a ride would break from the weight limit so i tried to open the door. I was out of control and scared my child !
Bike rides, long walks now put me in a very nervous state. "i wont make it" " i cant keep up" "my heart is pounding". Soon these activities were avoided completely.
Humid weather gave me panic attacks of being unable to breath. One such night went into a 2 hour long panic attack that wouldnt let up (i thought they lasted 15 min or less ? )
I told my doctor and I was "diagnosed" as depressed and given an RX. It was terrible so I decided to fight this on my own. I now carry water everywhere, in stores, walking, in the car. I am unable to travel by plane, long car rides freak me out. Crowded stores make me look for an exit. I have left my teen aged children to see fireworks while i waited in the car due to crowds.
The idea of Fairs and long distance travel right away makes me think.. what if i want to get home and i cant ??? I will have a panic attack and be stuck there. I recently had one so bad in a grocery store I had to leave everything and go home. To my credit I returned to the store and all was fine.
If my parents were alive they would say Mind over matter. Just stop that !