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Old 05-28-2012, 10:12 AM   #1
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Join Date: May 2012
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Smile Dying for years now, my life as a crazy hypochondriac :)

Hello all, what a great forum!!

Yes, I've been dying now for 20 years. What I'm dying of usually changes out every couple of months but the dying thought stays the same. Heart attack, heart disease, stomach cancer, MS, stroke, cancer of anything and everywhere, brain tumor, brain bleed, umm, let me see, oh yes, diabetis, lupus, etc... to long to list everything but lets just say I've been dying of some rare diseases as well along the way.
I drive my doctors crazy I'm sure, but most of the time I keep it locked up inside my terminal of a brain. I usually suffer silently, as if I'm going to drop any minute without saying much of anything to anybody except for myself. I can't seem to shut up about my health status when it comes to talking to myself. It's an ongoing conversation.

I finally accept the fact that I'm a special little nut. I try to make fun of myself to myself as much as possible. If I can't get my mind off a certain medical issue I just go and get a test for it. That usually helps me get back on track. I try and exercise even though I worry about having a stroke or heart attack during it. lol
I try to eat well, even though I might have a sever allergic reaction at any minute. lol
I try to get out and socialize now even though I might contract an illness or stomach virus from the crowd I'm hanging out with. lol
I make plans for my future even though I'm constantly worried about not having one. lol

I know me, I know this will rear it's little head when I'm stressed or tired or sick. I'm older, wiser and here to let you know, you are not alone, it does get better, you get use to ignoring fake symptoms, going to the symptoms of anxiety first instead of the illness you are worried about and the most important thing, you learn to laugh at yourself. I mean, how many things can you be dying of in a life time!
Hang in there everyone, anxiety is a lifestyle but remember you can change your lifestyle when you are ready.
Living life to it's fullest doesn't mean filling it up with anxiety.
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Stay strong!!

The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tokinouta For This Useful Post:
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