Depression seems to never end
I have had depression off and on for years, but it did not really rear it's ugly head at it's worst until about 2 years ago. I was functioning somewhat "normally" and then everything caved in on me. Since then I have been in the hospital 6 or more times...lost count. Just got out last Monday. July 23rd. My situation is one big problem and my loss of my ability to perform my career.
I had been a professional for a long time, and now unable to function in it everytime I try, I fail. My sis recommends starting a low key part time job..it is hard to go from making big bucks to minimum wage. She also says I am too proud. She is great during a crisis, but she is no therapist. I am having to wait it seems forever for an appointment to actually see a counselor at the mental health center. I went last Friday and now I have to go back to finish the "intake" and then who knows when I will get to see a doc or a therapist. The hospital only gave me 2 weeks of my medicine so then what? The person I did see at mental health told me the doctor will not give me the Klonipin I have been on for years, but I could hash it out with him???
I do have another therapist thank god that I was seeing that I see on the 13th of August. Since I have been out of the hospital I have been totally non-productive. I do not have a car until way next week, there is no public transportation and the main thing is what do you do when you have no idea job wise? I also live in a bad situation for me mentally. I got in a good mood for the first time since I had been in the hospital and this person I am living with to save being in a shelter, brought me right back down today. Thanks a lot dear...not a husband.
Just venting here, but I will say that I just wish this whole mess was over, forever.....
I am living my worst nightmare come true.