StBt07

Well.. Three years ago, my Mum overdosed on approx. 45 pain killers, washed down with Whisky. How she survived is beyond me but then, a few months later, she did exactly the same thing, and doctors decided it was best to put her in a Phsyciatric Ward for around 3-4 months. We thought she recovered, but then two months later she overdosed on her medication. Didnt do as much harm, but made her see things and fall over all the time. We took her to hospital were she stayed untill the night. She recovered but it took a real chunk out of me. I don't know why she did it and I sometimes blame myself for it. I wonder what I could have done to help and now I don't know what to do, I'm so confused. The amount of times I wonder how better things would be if I wasn't here. Then, two nights ago, I was so down and felt lonely, I tried to overdose. It didn't do much, only made me throw up and have tummy ache . I don't want to tell anybody because people may think I'm a bit .. weird!! .. I'm 16, and yes, you think I have the rest of my life ahead of me, but I don't want it. The amount of things that have happened, I wonder why I'm here im the first place. It might be a bit selfish of me to say this, because there are people worse off than me. But I want help. If I don't tell someone I'm goin to be tempted to do it again, but im too scared to tell anyone. What can I do?