It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Share Your Depression Story Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-17-2007, 01:37 PM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Sonoma, CA USA
Posts: 295
TopamaxKillsMe HB User
It started in 2005

My father died, my mom shortly came out to LA to visit me, knocked her head on my shower which caused a hematoma and had to have 2 rounds of neurological surgery. I thought I was going to lose her too. Then I lost my job of five years, shortly after I was forced to switch my seizure meds (to Topamax) because my previous medication just suddenly stopped working. The Topamax made me stupid as can be. I couldn't get another job, I'd space out in job interviews not remembering what I was just asked. Since I had lost my health insurance, I couldn't switch meds (I was getting the Tmax for free). My two best friends from college (in NY) decided that I was no longer worthy of their friendships. I guess they liked me a lot when I was cracking jokes but when I was an emotional mess, they couldn't hack it. My mom who on top of the healing hematoma has multiple Myeloma (cancer) and her condition started deteriorating. I decided to move to Florida to care for her. Things haven't gone quite the way I expected. I can't find work still....not at the level that I was at in Los Angeles pre-2005. I hate Florida, regret moving here in spite of the fact that it was more for my mother than me. I feel guilty for feeling this way.

Sometimes I just want to get in my car and drive back to NYC but I can no longer afford to live there. I'm also in a sea of debt from student loans. They have since doubled since I graduated 12 years ago.

I can't find friends or open up to them....not since the 2 from college bailed on me. I feel broken.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-24-2007, 11:14 PM   #2
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Conroe,Texas,Montgomery
Posts: 10
mike54 HB User
Re: It started in 2005

Quote:
Originally Posted by TopamaxKillsMe View Post
My father died, my mom shortly came out to LA to visit me, knocked her head on my shower which caused a hematoma and had to have 2 rounds of neurological surgery. I thought I was going to lose her too. Then I lost my job of five years, shortly after I was forced to switch my seizure meds (to Topamax) because my previous medication just suddenly stopped working. The Topamax made me stupid as can be. I couldn't get another job, I'd space out in job interviews not remembering what I was just asked. Since I had lost my health insurance, I couldn't switch meds (I was getting the Tmax for free). My two best friends from college (in NY) decided that I was no longer worthy of their friendships. I guess they liked me a lot when I was cracking jokes but when I was an emotional mess, they couldn't hack it. My mom who on top of the healing hematoma has multiple Myeloma (cancer) and her condition started deteriorating. I decided to move to Florida to care for her. Things haven't gone quite the way I expected. I can't find work still....not at the level that I was at in Los Angeles pre-2005. I hate Florida, regret moving here in spite of the fact that it was more for my mother than me. I feel guilty for feeling this way.

Sometimes I just want to get in my car and drive back to NYC but I can no longer afford to live there. I'm also in a sea of debt from student loans. They have since doubled since I graduated 12 years ago.

I can't find friends or open up to them....not since the 2 from college bailed on me. I feel broken.
I have found myself feeling hopeless, also. I moved to East Texas to take a job my wife wanted me to get. That job is long gone, and my wife and childrem have divorced me. My health is bad, and I just got demoted. I quit a good job. because my wife wanted us to move. Now I have no one with the future uncertain. My work conditions are low paid, and inhumane to begin with. I don't know how much more I can take. I can just say. You're not alone. I wish I could say or do more.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Started to take a Multivitamin Rain820 Vitamins & Supplements 0 10-03-2008 07:35 AM
Neck And Back Injuries Caused By A Car Accident In 2005 (need Advice Asap) Sunshinegurl Spinal Cord Disorders 5 08-08-2008 03:55 AM
my story on how it all started ilovejoaquim Addiction & Recovery 2 01-18-2008 06:32 PM
who here got this in 2005? comeandrelax Inner Ear Disorders 7 12-19-2007 10:30 PM
Anyone here have anxiety that started when health problem (i.e., heart palps)started? zosolizard Anxiety 5 11-04-2006 12:54 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



stay happy (1), sonyaclaire (1), akbounddix (1), canadiangirl38 (1), Administrator (1), BlueLagoon (1), bleetchblonde (1), Madkeex (1), iAlmostDo (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1166), MSJayhawk (999), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (667), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:31 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!