tyring your damnest not to sink - Share Your Depression Story Message Board

lindz34 · 10-30-2007, 11:30 AM

I am 34 and have had depresssion i think now from an early age, although I love my mum to bits, who bought me up alone after a messy divorce when I was 2 , she has no idea what depression is and feels it is me feeling sorry for myself and snap out of it.
So when I was 6 and the old man next door started doing things to me and touching me I kept this to myself all through the 8 years until he died.
I did my nurse training and did the carrea I loved and the 1 thing I was good at.
In and out of a few relationships from when I 16 was fine I thought with this big ugly girl no man in their right mind would love me.
At 22 I was raped whilst out with nurses on a might out but told no one kept the police and court case to myself and hid it, I then actually met a man I was 24 him 16 years my elder we had a good relationship that did last 8 years but the last year he turned on me and not physical but emotional beatings can be just as hurtful.
My depression I think over the last 19 years was hid and I looked afters others but I went bang last year, I broke my spine from a car accident but willpower kept me going . I met a good man who i am still with but it was only when I realised I did nt have to fight any longer that I collapsed with nearly 20 years of problems on top of me.
This year I had a breakdown and had to take mum strong and show how ill i was

I started councelling and a lot of ghosts were rattled out of the closet, I tried so hard , new job no lifting, and try hard but the last 2 months have given me nothing but knock backs and I dont know how many more times I can bounce back! any one out there who understands this help. kind blessings
lindz

mike54 · 11-22-2007, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lindz34

I am 34 and have had depresssion i think now from an early age, although I love my mum to bits, who bought me up alone after a messy divorce when I was 2 , she has no idea what depression is and feels it is me feeling sorry for myself and snap out of it.
So when I was 6 and the old man next door started doing things to me and touching me I kept this to myself all through the 8 years until he died.
I did my nurse training and did the carrea I loved and the 1 thing I was good at.
In and out of a few relationships from when I 16 was fine I thought with this big ugly girl no man in their right mind would love me.
At 22 I was raped whilst out with nurses on a might out but told no one kept the police and court case to myself and hid it, I then actually met a man I was 24 him 16 years my elder we had a good relationship that did last 8 years but the last year he turned on me and not physical but emotional beatings can be just as hurtful.
My depression I think over the last 19 years was hid and I looked afters others but I went bang last year, I broke my spine from a car accident but willpower kept me going . I met a good man who i am still with but it was only when I realised I did nt have to fight any longer that I collapsed with nearly 20 years of problems on top of me.
This year I had a breakdown and had to take mum strong and show how ill i was

I started councelling and a lot of ghosts were rattled out of the closet, I tried so hard , new job no lifting, and try hard but the last 2 months have given me nothing but knock backs and I dont know how many more times I can bounce back! any one out there who understands this help. kind blessings
lindz

I don't have most of your problems. But, I know the feelings. I have just lost everything, family too. All I had left was my horrible career. I thought, at least, I could take pride in my work. But, they just demoted me. I do not know if I could handle one more thing. One more straw just might break this camels back.
I am glad your are getting help. What ever you do, keep it up. There are tons of use out here that can't get help at all. You have my very best wishes.