I am 34 and have had depresssion i think now from an early age, although I love my mum to bits, who bought me up alone after a messy divorce when I was 2 , she has no idea what depression is and feels it is me feeling sorry for myself and snap out of it.
So when I was 6 and the old man next door started doing things to me and touching me I kept this to myself all through the 8 years until he died.
I did my nurse training and did the carrea I loved and the 1 thing I was good at.
In and out of a few relationships from when I 16 was fine I thought with this big ugly girl no man in their right mind would love me.
At 22 I was raped whilst out with nurses on a might out but told no one kept the police and court case to myself and hid it, I then actually met a man I was 24 him 16 years my elder we had a good relationship that did last 8 years but the last year he turned on me and not physical but emotional beatings can be just as hurtful.
My depression I think over the last 19 years was hid and I looked afters others but I went bang last year, I broke my spine from a car accident but willpower kept me going . I met a good man who i am still with but it was only when I realised I did nt have to fight any longer that I collapsed with nearly 20 years of problems on top of me.
This year I had a breakdown and had to take mum strong and show how ill i was
I started councelling and a lot of ghosts were rattled out of the closet, I tried so hard , new job no lifting, and try hard but the last 2 months have given me nothing but knock backs and I dont know how many more times I can bounce back! any one out there who understands this help. kind blessings