My ongoing battle w/depression - Share Your Depression Story Message Board

Surfgirl75 · 12-10-2007, 09:23 PM

Hello all,

I am 32 years old and have struggled w/depression since the 6th grade. I've taken medication for 11 years now and am still battling my "bad days" or worse yet, "bad months".

I feel that I am entering another "bad time" right now, due to holidays, going through a divorce (our 5-year anniversary is this Friday), etc. I eat well, take vitamins, take Prozac, work out and am doing everything that I'm supposed to be doing. After I went to the gym this morning, I started crying and couldn't stop and was literally wiping my eyes as I walked into work. I felt like a big, sobbing baby. Then, sometimes the anxiety washes over me and I feel like I'm being choked. There are definitely days where I wish that God or another higher power could "erase" me and end the torture and misery. But, when I feel that low, I try to hang on and "let it pass" and reach out to family/friends. It sucks though.

I look around and it's 75 degrees, no clouds in the sky, palm trees, great job, great friends, etc. - but STILL I feel horrible inside. It's almost crippling sometimes -I can't explain it.

Depression is such a vicious demon to battle - I empathasize 100% w/anyone dealing with this. It's horrible!

Anyone reading this who is battling depression - you are not alone. Have faith that your bad time will pass eventually and things will evolve.

Take care,

Marywoo · 07-13-2008, 02:37 AM

Surfgirl,you have suffered a long time i really am so sorry,and i hate to ask this but could their be an underlying illness that you are not aware of causing this depression,you sound like your doing all the right things (eating right going to the gym etc.)have you had a good checkup,do you suffer from any back pain,i only ask because my own depression was caused by physical illness and i didnt know for years,because i was busy taking care of other people(sick mother father ),it wasnt untill my one brother dyed my family realized we all had bad bones and other ailments.does this run in your famili hope you begin to feel better,your right depression is aweful and i woundnt wish it on anyone,i hope things turn around for you. marywoo

wanttoshare · 01-17-2009, 09:31 AM

I hear you and sympathize with what you are going through it wasn't until recently that I have found the right meds that have leveled my moods...and for me it is lexapro...but again that's my correct drug...it very's for each individule. I'm new to this site and have been trying to find a support system out there of people that I can relate because I don't have the family or friends that it sounds like you have. That is great. I'm going to post my story once I figure out how to.